I Don't Dress Gay Enough

[s5m1]

So now that I have some gay friends and am going out to gay clubs, restaurants and bars, I have been told that my attire is not gay enough. My clothing is comfortable but somewhat loose. I have worked out my entire life and am muscular and in really good shape. My gay friends tell me that I should wear tighter clothing when I go out to the clubs. In fact, one night they insisted that I change into a tighter shirt before we went out. What do you think?

Don't change the way you look for anyone. If you dress gay you dress gay if you don't you don't what does it matter? It's the person wearing the clothes that matter not what clothes they are. And I no this sounds cheesy but I mean it.

[Hoppip]

Don't dress gay.

Dress s5m1.

Because down the road, your soulmate won't care. And he'd rather you dress s5m1.

[s5m1]

Originally Posted by Hidden Angel

Don't change the way you look for anyone. If you dress gay you dress gay if you don't you don't what does it matter? It's the person wearing the clothes that matter not what clothes they are. And I no this sounds cheesy but I mean it.

It does not sound cheesy at all. I plan to wear what I want and am comfortable wearing. I guess my question was whether there is a particular way a lot of gay guys dress these days when they go out. I know it is asking about what may be a stereotype, but I was curious after hearing it from a handful of gay guys.

[Malchik89]

yeah seriously, thats like your straight friends telling you that you dont dress straight enough. Which in any case like that if people tell you that just tell them to screw off Just be yourself

Originally Posted by s5m1

It does not sound cheesy at all. I plan to wear what I want and am comfortable wearing. I guess my question was whether there is a particular way a lot of gay guys dress these days when they go out. I know it is asking about what may be a stereotype, but I was curious after hearing it from a handful of gay guys.

Yeah I get what you mean and yeah stereotypically most gay gays are defined by the way they dress: tight jeans, tight tops, pinks shirts etc. But just because a large number of gay guys dress in a way society views as gay it does not mean they all have to, don't worry about it just be yourself.

[Jebs]

This is funny. Hehe. I guess by dressing gay at the clubs, or wearing tights clothes, they want you to show off what you have worked your whole life to get (hot bod). I don't blame them for that, but yea you don't need to dress how they want. Just how you want.

[Sam]

Dress how you want to dress because the one you end up with will like you for you. Don't listen to everybody else and just be yourself.

Oh shit I just realized that I don't dress lesbian enough!!!!! lol j/k

seriously though be happy with who you are and don't try to please everybody else whoever you're meant to be with won't care. Besides who decides whats "gay enough"

[s5m1]

Originally Posted by biloved86

Dress how you want to dress because the one you end up with will like you for you. Don't listen to everybody else and just be yourself.

Oh shit I just realized that I don't dress lesbian enough!!!!! lol j/k

seriously though be happy with who you are and don't try to please everybody else whoever you're meant to be with won't care. Besides who decides whats "gay enough"

I agree. It is ironic that we have to fight in society for the freedom to be who we are without discrimination, yet there are those in the gay community who try to impose on others their views of how someone should dress. In essence, these gay men are doing exactly what some in society do with respect to glbt people.

[Samii]

I wear loose clothes. Mah ne~ It is your choice!

Originally Posted by s5m1

I agree. It is ironic that we have to fight in society for the freedom to be who we are without discrimination, yet there are those in the gay community who try to impose on others their views of how someone should dress. In essence, these gay men are doing exactly what some in society do with respect to glbt people.

Exactly! This gets me so angry sometimes grrr!

[SonofaPastor]

Well if you're going clubbing and stuff then dressing gay is a way to let others know you're gay... But then again if your going to gay clubs and hanging out with a group of gay friends then everyone should just assume you're gay... Of course assuming is never the right thing to do...

In the end it doesn't really matter. Dressing the way you want to dress (and not how others want you to) is almost always the right way to go.

[Wander]

I'm still not clear on what "dressing gay" means. I am gay, I dress who I am, but I'm pretty sure your friends wouldn't say I was "dressing gay". Wear whatever you want, the more stereotypes you shatter the better. It makes me a little sad when people push generalizations like "all gay guys are supposed to wear tight shirts".

[Daniel]

Don't change yourself because someone else wants you to be different. If they really have that much of an issue with your clothes that they can't be seen in public with you then maybe you can't be seen with them. One does not have to be a stereotype to be oneself.

They sound like assholes to me. Find new friends not new clothes.

[joeyconnick]

Originally Posted by s5m1

I agree. It is ironic that we have to fight in society for the freedom to be who we are without discrimination, yet there are those in the gay community who try to impose on others their views of how someone should dress. In essence, these gay men are doing exactly what some in society do with respect to glbt people.

Well... we are talking about a very specific environment with very specific goals and even (really) a very specific standard uniform.

You can look at it as discrimination or whatever or you could just look at it as your friends wanting you to fit in. Sure, they're going a bit far but I doubt it's out of any desire to change you so much as they want everyone to partake in the fun and for them part of the fun is dressing "gay."

I do have to say I have never understood people with good bodies who don't wear tight clothes. Why bother with all the work if you're not going to show it off (at least a bit)? If you've got it, flaunt it. In that respect, your friends are probably confused and/or jealous. Kinda like how frustrated I get when one of my friends who is very attractive complains about how unattractive he is and I sit there thinking to myself, "Oh my gosh, if I looked like you I wouldn't sit around bitching... I would go out and get me some." It's just such a waste!

It can get out of hand, sure. Peer pressure always can. But it's not necessarily this big bad conspiracy. People want to belong, and if they like people, they want them to belong. And when you're dealing with people who aren't maybe that sophisticated, they latch onto certain simple ways in which people can belong, like wearing similar styles of clothing. So while there is an element of "you aren't being properly gay" to it, there's also an element of "we want you to be one of us" except in the good sense, and not the totally zombie-sense. Kinda like when friends who are drinking encourage their other friends to drink.

So I think you can take it either of two ways: you can take umbrage or you can take it as a sign they like you. And then you can either: get mad at them for saying you're not good enough; laugh at the fact that they need you to be more like them; or shrug your shoulders and say, "When in Rome..."

If you consciously decide to try wearing "gayer" "tighter" clothes, there's nothing to stop you from deciding against it at some later date. I know a lot of people seem to feel they will be... I dunno... made more gay against their will or something. But if you are conscious enough to pose the question, you are conscious enough to make deliberate choices about the situation.

Of course, the better question might be: why don't you wear tighter clothes anyway? I mean maybe not skintight, but ones that highlight your body somewhat?

All that being said, I can see how it would be annoying that they insisted you change shirts. Of course, you could have gotten them back by going shirtless or something. All's fair in love and war, after all.

I find a tight v-neck t-shirt on a muscular guy really hot. Big v-neck if you want to dress gay.

Provided your clothes aren't loose to the point that they don't really fit properly, I don't see the point in changing your attire. You shouldn't be made to feel that you should dress 'gay'.

[Andytx1]

be urself ^^

[musicgirl112233]

Dress the way want. Clothes don't make up who you are!