People referring to gay significant other as your "friend"

I am not in a relationship with another guy (as I still present as a guy), but if I were in a relationship with a guy, it would bug me if others would call him my 'friend' and not my boyfriend, if they weren't going to use his name. Same would be true after I socially transition. Speaking of, once I socially transition, it would bug me if others called me someone's boyfriend.

 

It bugs me when other people's same gender partners are called their friend, or even worse their 'flatmate'.

 

Of course it would upset me. When someone says that they are basically saying, "I know you are together, but I refuse to acknowledge your relationship."

 

I don't have S/O yet, but I know that when I do, it'll totally Pi** me off if people did that.

 

It would bug me to know end and I would sure as hell correct them immediately. Just because a LGBT relationship isn't right in their eyes doesn't make it any less of a relationship.

 

No, because I'd do the exact same thing.
I'm pretty aromantic, you see. "Lover" and "Boyfriend" both sound mushy to me, and "significant other" is way too long, and "partner" will lead to people making Republican jokes (I'm in northern CA and I'm right-wing. Irony intensifies).

 

It would depend on if they knew we were a thing or not. If they honestly didn't know, I'd probably let it slide, but if they know, they have no excuse.

 

This is a boundaries issue. Best dealt with at the same time you announce that you have a (statistically?) significant other.

As in: "Now that I've told you about him, let's just be clear: I know you are uncomfortable with the term "boyfriend" when it applies to me, nevertheless, I must insist that when you do refer to him, please call him my boyfriend, not just my friend, or, if you prefer: [his name]."

 

I don't think it matters too much as long as you know what you mean to each-other. But at the same time I can see where it could cause annoyance.

 

Absolutely. If someone is well aware that two same sex people are dating or married and they are referred to as "friends," that person is not recognizing the relationship, by choice.

 

It would depend on the situation. If it is just to prevent trouble or a hassle then I won't mind. I don't really enjoy getting into arguments with random homophones or just ignorant people, so if calling my significant other a friend to such people would prevent a unneeded pain in the bum then I'm all for it.

I could see annoyance with friends and family that know I'm gay and such.

 

it would matter if my friends were doing it on purpose

 

If they are knowingly choosing to not recognize the relationship, then yes, it would bother me a lot.

 

Its happened to me before, several times, with the same distant acquaintances who know that we're boyfriends. It seems to me that they did it because they were scared they would cause offense in some way... as if, upon hearing the words "your boyfriend", I would turn around and scream in a blaze of anger, "BOYFRIEND!??!? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!?! I'M NOT GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and then beat them up or something

I dont blame them really. Just a few decades ago it was not the done thing to mention homosexuality by name. Even my boyfriends mother cant bring herself to say "gay" or "homosexual"... she'll use every other phrase under the sun in order to avoid using those words. I find it funny more than anything

 

It depends on the situation, but it probably would piss me off.

 

I am not in an environment that is conducive to such rude behavior,
I will have my partner treated with the dignity and respect they deserve,
If not,
I'd rather not be in the transgressors presence

 

Depends on who else is there. I don't know if I want to be out to everyone yet. If it was just people whom I wanted to know about it, then yeah it would be annoying.

 

Not in a relationship, but this is something I could totally see my mother doing.

I think I decided in this moment what my response to that will be, as I'm shaking the hand of the person I've just been introduced too. "Nice to meet you, but actually - he's more than a friend. He's my boyfriend. We're fucking each other." *momentary pause* "Oops. Did I just go and make things awkward for everyone?"

:lol:

I think the whole 'friend' thing will only happen once after that experience. (And the subsequent argument.)

 

It depends on the person. if you are over 40, then no. LOL. My dad acknowledges my relationship, adores my partner, but he still refers to her as my "buddy". It cracks me up. He calls her his other daughter or daughter-in-law, but he still refers to her as my "buddy". If she isnt at a dinner "where's your buddy" LOL.

My mom who doesnt like the fact that I am gay was the first person to actually refer to her as my gf and wife, even though we arent legally married here.