i wanna be a gay guy.

Could you elaborate?
This is a little vague...

 

Are you comfortable with your body? Maybe you are a transman?

 

I too wish I was a gay man. As it is, I have the chromosomes, but that's all. This is a shame, for if my body went for men instead of women as it presently does, I could then have my physical self in alignment with my intellectual self, which seems to be quite gay. (Alternatively, I'd switch out my homosexual brain for a hetero one in order to achieve equilibrium.)

Is there such a thing as mind dysphoria? If so, I've got a bad case of it.

 

Mind dysphoria? Nope. Not a thing.
My advice for you is to think about your orientation a little bit more.
And, while I think that the -romantic orientations make things overly confusing, you could try that.
I think it was "homo-romantic heterosexual/bisexual." Or something.

 

I can understand you feeling you are in the wrong body or the feeling of being genderfluid, but I'm not sure why you would go from being bi to being gay if you switched bodies. Can you elaborate more on these feelings?

 

Like a stereotypical gay guy? Or just a guy who happens to like other guys. Sometimes I wish I fit more into the stereotype so gay guys would recognize me as a potential date, is it like that?

 

No one can tell you who you are but yourself. No that is not strange to me.

 

I can get behind that (no pun intended). See, I once thought I was your average lesbian. Kind of half-assed femme, had a girlfriend, social justice feminist type. But through puberty? Hard as I tried, I felt no connection to the lesbian community. I was jealous of gay men, everything from anatomy to community. Tried not to think about it- surely every girl wanted to be a man at times, right?

So it was sex that kind of made me wonder what was up. I'd imagine doing it as a girl (with either a male or female partner)- nothing. While lacking the parts, I'd fall flat every time the idea came up. So my girlfriend and I? Never had sex, never so much as made out. I never brought it up- I was that uncomfortable with the idea of being intimate as a woman.

Thinking about doing it as a man? That's what got me going. As it turns out, I didn't date men because I was a lesbian- I didn't want to be a girlfriend to a man. I was bisexual (still am) but fantasizing about sex with other men, has a kind of novelty to it that I liked.

So... I'd say sort of ask yourself why you're feeling this way. Is it because a female body doesn't suit you? Something that appeals about gay men? Explore, mull it over, and see where it takes you.

 

Damn, you know what you want. Nice.

 

Yeah, keep in mind though, there's a big difference between "gee, I'd like to be this" and "I identify as this." Lot of people do wonder what it's like to be the opposite sex- I think the distinction when it comes to being trans is that it's not a "Wow, I'd like to know what it's like to be a boy/girl" but "Gee, I don't feel comfortable as this, I feel I'd be better off as that."

Like, when I was figuring things out with my gender, that was one thing I had to ask myself- do I just want to know what it's like to be a man or would I be happier as one? I don't think it was really until after I'd played around with my presentation (like taping down my tits, bought men's clothing) and made a few online profiles as a guy that it really struck me how natural it felt being recognized as male.

As a woman? What really strikes me about growing up is how inauthentic I felt. Couldn't nail down my own personality, dressed and acted to please- I wouldn't say that feeling was constant throughout my childhood but as I got older and more hormonal, I eventually turned into this prudish, giggling Betty Crocker. It didn't feel like me at all, just like a character I was playing and hell, I was miscast.

So I think that's what I want you to take away from this. Find what feels authentic to you and live it.
Geez. I feel like I'm talking to a fourteen year old me. :lol:

 

Yeah. For me it was a bit more like living a dream, constantly being told you must do this and be this, but feeling completely out of my element, and only tiring myself out and feeling like a liar when I tried living up to those expectations. There were other early signs, like feeling a mixture of envy and attraction when seeing young women, or feeling that I had all the wrong parts early on.

Finding the queer community was the first step, honestly, though I had to navigate the waters a bit before feeling comfortable (the fact that I felt "different" from most other gay and bi men was chalked up to internalized homophobia, another lie that was repeated time and time again). Like the straight men, they were all comfortable and secure with their male identities, and I wasn't.

A lot of people wonder what it would be like to be the opposite sex, and some might express envy at certain privileges, but if it's continuous, and a driving force, I'd definitely listen to those desires. A good place to start might be reading up on gender identities, watching YT videos on those who have transitioned, and perhaps talking to a therapist, aside from experimenting with expression.

 

i know how you feel, but at the end of the day i think im just what some may call a hardcore 'fag hag' . what do you think of it sexually, like would you rather be a guy with another guy sexually? what do you think or being a female and doing sexual things ....sorry this is worded so wewirdly..