I'm sorry, when did EC turn into Dbag central?

How do people deal with life's problems? Not complain and quit; fix them and move on. I can see wanting to make a public statement like this, but why not report problem comments as they appear? That's been the way forums have worked for at least a decade. And barring official reports and infractions, couldn't you just discuss it with the person? Maybe you'll change a mind or two instead of leave a bad taste in people's mouths.

Note that I'm not disagreeing with you-- just your methods.

 

Yes. Like there's the transphobic sort of comment just every so often. Not too much, it's sorta rare, but still... It sucks to hear it on a place like this. But I'm working on not caring about ignorant/mean stuff in general lately and not letting it get to me, so yeah...

 

Huh, I've been away for a bit so I haven't noticed those comments, but I'll be alert for things like that. Gah I hope EC doesn't turn into one of THOSE websites. I trust it won't but if you're seeing comments like that and others have too then something would need to be done. I haven't run into comments like that but I'll certainly be on the look out. That crap shouldn't be tolerated here. :dry:

 

Self loathing people bring each other down. Don't get caught up in it.

 

I'm relatively new here, and have noted some pretty crazy posts, but I try to ignore them, and not let them upset me too much.

I think it's best to just call them out on a case by case basis, as they happen, if one feels sufficiently moved to do so. It's sad to see what seems like an increasing ammount of schisms opening up in the LGBT (or call it what you will) community, yet it's hard to think of any easy 'fixes'.

But it odd, I agree, to come here seeking refuge and support from the daily BS that happens, only to have more added at times...seems to be the nature of the internet, to a certain degree, not that this makes it easier.

 

Yes, I have noticed this for a long time. I've been intensely critical of the bisexual, trans* hatred, femme hatred, and general sexism I have run across on EC. It's always been a problem. But I don't think it's really EC's problem. (Although I used to.) I think it's a queer community problem. We're not all one big happy family. I used to like to think so, and I wish we were, but we're not. Sometimes gay and lesbian folks don't really understand multisexual experience and say some pretty problematic things. Same goes for some cisgender folks. As a bi-identifying person, I know I have said some problematic things to pansexual folks. I have also noticed a lot of sexual racism on EC, but again, that's not EC, that's queer folks.

I would recommend bringing things that are bothering you to the attention of moderators and administrators. They do the job of making sure that this community stays true to the Code of Conduct. I know that the moderators actually take action, because they recently suspended a member, I would like to think, in part because I brought him to their attention.

 

I've noticed this too, maybe I should start to bring these posts to the mods attentions.

 

I'm honestly not seeing all this haterism. Then again, maybe that just says more about the type of online community I am used to (Dbag Central Ultra) than it does about the new EC. I am pretty thick-skinned (except when I'm depressed).

 

I'm pretty new here, and didn't notice it at first. During my first couple weeks here I thought EC was the magical place on the internet where "Dbags" didn't exist. I've since seen several posts that left me angry and feeling very unsettled. Report them, and move on. There are a lot of really great people on EC. When you run into someone who makes you feel like crap, go talk to someone you like.

 

I just got really scared that I had at one point posted something like you described without realizing it. I just actually looked through all my posts to make sure that I didnt and thankfully I didnt see anything

But if I ever do say something like that in the future, please call me out on it

 

Hmm I haven't been around much lately, but I've noticed occasional bad eggs on here about as long as I've been using this site. I don't notice much change on that front.

Maybe you were just lucky enough not to bump into them for a while.

 

I don't notice it, maybe I'm blind to it seeing as I'm surrounded by dbags IRL on campus.

 

Really? Because one of the first things I noticed was the rampant vagina-phobia in posts, which, with the exception of a few transmen and lesbians, went mostly unchallenged. It's important to remember that we're all individuals with our own biases and prejudices, and definitely not immune to the influences around us. Instead of avoiding the issue(s) altogether, I'd rather have you stay and fight against them by bringing awareness to areas the larger LGB community might not be aware of, because when you're clueless what someone is going through, you'll also be clueless how you're coming across and affecting them.

 

I'm going to echo what Pret Allez wrote. I have noticed some stuff, but I don't think it's anymore than has always existed. It's just that the community has gotten larger, and as a result the number of the people acting offensive has also grown even as the proportion has remained the same. Whenever you see something offensive you should alert it so that it can be reviewed and the mods can delete it and take disciplinary action if necessary.

Something I try to keep in mind is that the vast majority of us find ourselves coming to this community from rather closed-minded backgrounds. We were raised a certain way, in a culture that looks upon us ALL negatively. It's a culture that mandates that we conform to gender and sexual norms, and despises those that do not.

As a result, a lot of people show up with baggage they need to ditch. I try to remind myself when someone says something offensive to a large portion of the community at least 40% of it is coming from ignorance, 60% of it is coming from self-hate and shame, and 100% of it belongs to them. We can try and cure the ignorance, but the other 60% is going to take time and it's shit they've got to sort out for themselves.

I try to find the empathy and compassion within myself as I know where I came from in the past. I've changed, grown, and matured a lot after coming to terms with being gay. I have to hold out hope that others will eventually do the same.

 

The EC community has been growing substantially in the last two years, especially 2013. While it is positive that the site is reaching more and more people, one side effect is that the amount of ignorant members we have at any one time will also growth. Now,I don't use ignorant in the sense of an insult. We were all ignorant of many of the numerous topics in the LGBTQ community and sites such as these can be the first times many individuals are exposed to such a variety of individuals and social constructs.

If you hear ignorant comments, consider the possibility that they might not have seemed intentionally judgmental or offense by the poster. If they seem to be misguided or confused about a subject, then make an attempt to respond to them in hopes of educated them on the topic; though keep in mind that the more critical and aggressive we are in our responses the less receptive others will plausibly be to them.

With posts that come across as exceedingly hateful or malicious, report them and bring them to staff attention.

 

Same here. This is one of the friendlier places on the internet- I think the supposed hate is being blown out of proportion.
When you have a shitload of stigmatized conditions (some controllable, like weight and how much I pass, and others not so much, like autism)... you tend to get made fun of.
I'm just glad that I'm in America, where everyone has (or, at least, should have) equal opportunity for success as long as they try.
Still, someone like me has to develop a thick skin, or live as a mopey idiot who blames everyone else for their problems. (Emo Teen trope, anyone?)

Don't you mean trans women? That would make more sense.

 

Well some of us trans guys have vs/some don't and have apparently challenged the vagina-phobia alongside lesbians...makes sense to me.