How to stop feeling regretful of the choices/mistakes you made in your life?

It's not easy.

 

It really comes down to the ability to forgive yourself. It takes introspection and some self courage (not to say you don't have it)

Because I have things about my past that came up during therapy and now I too am working on forgiving myself for some heavy stuff

just take your time and look into why you haven't forgiven yourself and what you gain by not forgiving yourself.

Foxface

 

Just see it as a learning experience.

 

I agree with you.

1.) Forgive yourself.

2.) Remember that the past is the past, and you can't change it

3.) Learn from your mistakes

4.) Focus on the future, and use your regrets as a guiding tool on how to make better choices in the future.

5.) If and when you can try to make reparations if you've ever wronged anyone. It might ease the burden of guilt a bit, but don't become anyone's doormat ^.^

 

I tell myself the past is dead the present is now and the future is the only thing I can change! What do I want to do? June

 

This is one of my worst habits if not the absolute worst.

 

great question wish I knew!

1 ) is the hard one - been through much therapy to keep trying

B ) yeah baby but why is a time machine and going back such a freaking popular story line? because EVERYONE wants to go back and fix things! so really not a person in the world seems to be able to do this one!

iii ) no prob done this but it took years - the clear thing for everyone, pay attention to what is going on and decide , never again!

4 ) another hard one when there is pain, but good advice for all

E ) great advice, why is it one of the 12 steps,

but another problem is an E ) sub part 2 - I wish some would do to me I have been wronged enough! - so resentment builds up there making regret again




to me - best solutions - focus on the here and now

be in the present. your life is now what counts. start being you and start giving both to you and to others and the past fades (scars never go away) Trust me I have made bad decisions if I spent all the time thinking about them I would be paralyzed. So instead I work on charity or activism I feel better about myself now so that means whatever I regret means less in my life then (or can count as less at least as time goes on)

 

Try to take perspective on things and be practical - would feeling regretful be of any help ? or is it better to learn from mistakes and move on, while being smarter about similar situations in the future ?
I know that what helps me get over mistakes, because we gotta remember we don't have a lot of time on this planet to feel bad for things happened in the past

 

Remember that the past is unchangeable and indispensable to who you are today. Regret the past and you'll be forgetting the future.

This sounds like anxiety, though there's not much to go on. As has been said, letting go of the past is not easy. It's pointless to tell you that you should let it go; it has to come from your own efforts. Activity is probably the best way to keep the feelings away; the less activity you do, the more time you have to dwell, and without distractions, the more serious the past seems to be.

It's best not to ignore your regrets. Calmly think about them, and put them aside as a lesson. Although they may hurt, the present and future are what matter.

 

For me it really takes time. I'm terrible for beating myself up about things that I regret or count as a mistake. In time I realise that it's best for me to just get up and use this as a lesson. It's not always simple to fix things but it can almost always be helped with time.

 

They always say you are responsible for your own choices. That's true. That is, if they are your choices. My parents were quite heavy-handed about some critical choices. While there was a time when I clearly split-off and became emancipated, my peer or reference group was making their own decisions prior to that because their parents were more laissez-faire. I have had, and still have, a hard time forgiving my parents for sticking their nose where it didn't belong.

 

It's a big sign of maturity and a very hard thing to do to be able to put something in the past and leave it there. It's something I've had to do many times, and for me it's the fact that there's absolutely nothing I can do to change it, and dwelling on it won't make it any better.

 

I don't know exactly. The forgiving yourself thing sounds promising, but I doubt there is a set path to achieving that. I am lucky to have reached this kind of place, but I couldn't tell you how.

 

I usually try to make up for them in what small ways I can, and if I can't I try to learn from it and move on. Easier said than done though...

 

Its hard, I have a problem being incredibly hard on myself as well, I regret stuff even when I shouldn't

 

have made a few choices that I regretted afterwards I just try not to beat myself up about it its in the past

 

I remind myself that I can't change it no matter what. And then I distract myself. Probably not the best method but

 

dont think about the things.....