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The reason I don't like "It gets better" (phase)

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gibson234, Jan 6, 2014.

  1. gibson234

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    The thought behind it is good but the phase and perhaps the idea isn't that good. When your at rock bottom and suicidal (which I have been many times), your not interested in things getting "better", you want them to get good. You want to look forward to the day when you wake. You want to have around people you love. You want a good job that you at least to some degree enjoy. I'm not interested in feeling suicidal some of the time instead of all the time, I WANT TO NEVER FEEL IT!

    "Better" isn't good enough. Better from rock bottom is most things. A lot of these people from "it gets better" videos are people who got bullied at high school a bit because they were gay but as soon as they got to university it got autocratically "good" because fundamentally they didn't have a mental disorder (I know not all of them). But most people who commit suicide do have a mental disorder and "it gets better" isn't going to make them feel better.

    Telling people that it's magically going to get better when your in your bedroom considering how many pills it takes to end your suffering isn't going to help. In my case with people saying that its get better when you get to university I feel like I've missed my boat. And I'm sure other depressed people will feel the same when they get to university.

    Anyway thats just how I feel. I'm not saying anything against there intentions at least they care. Although they only really seem to care if your in high school. If you get to uni and still want to kill yourself then you don't matter.

    I don't mean to offend anyone. Does anyone else have any opinion on this?
     
  2. Argentwing

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    I think people stick with it because "good" is highly subjective, occasionally impossible if you're clinically depressed, and represents a sort of "promised land" that if not achieved in a certain time might make a person feel bitter and think it's all a lie. "Better" means that somebody in a dark place only needs to see a nominal improvement. From there, they see the reality that they can take another tiny step, and that paves the way for the "good" they need so badly.

    I agree that "It gets better" is an impersonal and dismissive way to cheer somebody up though. I'd prefer to help the person make sense of their situation and take action towards creating that better life for themselves. People who sit and wait get what they want far less than people who work for it. For example, I'd tend towards "It can be better if..." and then get to the root of what makes their situation unsatisfactory. Sometimes waiting is all they can do, but for the other times, it can happen. :slight_smile:
     
    #2 Argentwing, Jan 6, 2014
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2014
  3. dano218

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    I completely agree. I made the same argument on here and it's a bs project for me personally. People don't need words they need action real action. Same as the guy who has no friends and a person online saids ill be your friend it's just plain cheesy. Ill be your friend but in five years we won't even talk andor even meet in person. That's not friendship to me. I needed face to face interaction.