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how do gays and bis think about sadist and masochists

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by terry chen, Jan 9, 2014.

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  1. terry chen

    terry chen
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    ok, this might seem weird, but like how do u gays and bis think about sadists and masochists? just wanna know, would u like us cause we both sexual minorities, or would u hate us cause we might drag u down. side note, among the sadist and masochists i met on the internet, they have strong support u guys, 1 out of 3 people on the internet that voice out on homosexuals or bisexuals hates them, but i haven't seen any homo-hating sadists or masochists among the 4 that i know and have voiced out about it, 5 including myself
     
    #1 terry chen, Jan 9, 2014
  2. Tightrope

    Tightrope
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    S/M can exist in all sexual preferences from what I understand. It's very foreign to me. I don't understand how either party would enjoy the sex but I guess some people like this style of sex. If anyone has gotten aggressive in an unusual way or verbally unpleasant during sex, I quickly lose interest, and more than that, and leave. More than anything else, I find it complex and would want to know a person's make-up to maybe figure why they like it. That's just me being analytical.
     
    #2 Tightrope, Jan 9, 2014
  3. gravechild

    gravechild
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    I'm into what you might call "light BDSM", and cishets who diverge from the traditional sex practices, like polyamorists and sadists/masochists are technically a part of the queer movement. And why not? It's more than simply sexual attractions, since for example gay men, trans women, and straight cismen who engage in pegging with women are all shamed for falling outside of the "accepted" norms of manhood. The sooner we start seeing how similar we are to one another, the sooner we can start working together towards progress.
     
    #3 gravechild, Jan 9, 2014
  4. Jinkies

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    I'm not really against it, unless it's life-threatening.
     
    #4 Jinkies, Jan 9, 2014
  5. Pret Allez

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    I don't share the lesbian feminist hatred of this kind of roleplay. I am neither a sadist or a masochist. I actually want to be gentle with my sexual partners. I'm a submissive, though, which is different from being a masochist...

    The traditional worry about S&M is basically that it's rape simulation. I would argue that rape is not possible to simulate. It's either happening or not. The crucial piece--consent--is always present in a proper "scene" or sexual transaction. Pain, the infliction or enjoyment thereof, become part of what the participants enjoy in the sexual transaction. But, it's still consensual. It lacks that component of terror, that feeling of being completely dominated. I'm not very sympathetic to worries of this sort, and the more people express them, the more they piss me off and make me feel like they aren't even trying to familiarize themselves with the theory or the experiences of S&M individuals on behalf of whom they claim to speak...

    S&M is fine just like polyamory is fine; they are both non-standard practices, and things are okay if they are mutually agreed upon.
     
    #5 Pret Allez, Jan 9, 2014
  6. Aussie792

    Aussie792
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    Pret Allez basically summed up my opinion. If it's consensual, then it's fine, and that's exactly what BDSM is.

    The terminology is my only concern; sadism as the desire to cause genuine harm is very different from sadism/masochism as the sexual enjoyment of consensual pain, and getting those definitions confused is what often brings the issue to the "rape simulation" topic (the important points of which I think Pret Allez covered already.)
     
    #6 Aussie792, Jan 9, 2014
  7. bitheway7

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    If it's safe and consensual for all parties involved, you do whatever you want. Who am I to judge you?
     
    #7 bitheway7, Jan 9, 2014
  8. terry chen

    terry chen
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    @Ryuichi thx for telling me it gets better

    ---------- Post added 10th Jan 2014 at 06:48 PM ----------
    ya, im kinda against rape role-play swell, i wouldn't be rape roleplaying with my lover when i have one. S&M and polygamy are similar in the sense that they are the biggest movements in the world about love after LBG

    ---------- Post added 10th Jan 2014 at 06:52 PM ----------

    u guys are in support of us much more i thought, thanks :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 10th Jan 2014 at 06:53 PM ----------

    u guys are in support of us much more i thought, thanks :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 10th Jan 2014 at 07:01 PM ----------

    ps I'm only gonna have sadomasochism with my consenting lover, hopefully a masochist or sadist, i don't feel like dating a vanilla if u know what that is, side note (this is like a side note of side note) I'm not a dominant, not all sadist are doms.
     
    #8 terry chen, Jan 10, 2014
  9. terry chen

    terry chen
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    oh and yes, submissive is utterly different from masochist, i actually always tell people that sadomasochism is different from dominance and submission, and that one could be a dom without being a sadist, a masochist without being a submissive or the one that i say the most, a sadist without being a dom. me being one Not all feminist are anti-sadomasochists tho, there are 2 i know that are in favor, and 1 that are against, but the ones that are against always do that in the name of woman. most of it are utter crap, but ya i grant it sadism does disbenefit woman more than man, there are more female victims of sadist who unconsentingly beats up people for their sexual attraction than the amount of male victim. because male to female population of sexual sadists are 2:1 and guys are more violent. this i guess explains why woman turn to like gay man more than bis and lesbians and straight man, cause gays cause them no danger.

    feminists that are in favor of sadomasochism
    Re: 10 Lies About Sadomasochism (1/2) - YouTube going rampant(masochist)
    GETTING KINKY? (BDSM 101) - YouTube laci green

    feminists are that against
    http://www.feministes-radicales.org...lissa-Farley-Ten-Lies-About-Sadomasochism.pdf mellisa farley

    dayum, that's long
     
    #9 terry chen, Jan 10, 2014
  10. kageshiro

    kageshiro Guest

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    It's not for me but my general rule of life is that if it's consesual I don't have a problem with it.
     
    #10 kageshiro, Jan 10, 2014
  11. Hexagon

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    I have a few masochist fantasies. But even if I didn't, my answer would be the same: consensual sex is fine, including S/M. Oh, and p.s. You're quite welcome here :slight_smile:. I do think that we should have some kind of link, but not because we're sexual minorities. Because both our communities defy conservative religious notions of sex, and that does wonders for sexual liberation.
     
    #11 Hexagon, Jan 10, 2014
  12. terry chen

    terry chen
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    yea, and awww so sweet of u to say Im welcome, btw i gotta ask tho, when u say ur male(trans) do u mean u went from female to male, or male to female.

    And also fuck religion for irrational and fairytale based hate on gays and bis. Human beings have a natural physch to want to make certain of things that we don't know, but that doesn't mean it’s nice, humans also have an instinct to make living things suffer for fun, to destroy things for anger relive and to rape people.
    im proud to be sadistic
    and I'm proud to be agnostic

    ---------- Post added 10th Jan 2014 at 09:28 PM ----------

    btw sorry i meant what does gays and bis think about sadist and masochists
     
    #12 terry chen, Jan 10, 2014
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2014
  13. azrae1

    azrae1 Guest

    Strange, i just watched a movie about the S&M by al pacino, and i have to say the movie portrayed them in a negative way that gave me a wrong impression about them. Well i see it as more of a role play than a life style. I just don't get it why they dress all in leather and chains in public. Why don't they keep it just at their clubs. Again i don't mind them at all, just curious about their culture that's all.
     
    #13 azrae1, Jan 10, 2014
  14. leer

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    have been tied up and stuff with my ex for role play nothing painful I did enjoy it haven't done anything like that with mark it's not his thing .
     
    #14 leer, Jan 10, 2014
  15. Hexagon

    Hexagon
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    Why do we go out wearing rainbow jewlery, clothing and flags? Why do we hold hands with our partners in public? I approach most of what other people do from a social libertarian point of view. If it hurts no one, then people should be allowed to do it.

    ---------- Post added 10th Jan 2014 at 02:47 PM ----------
    Well, what I really meant was all these attitudes, that we can't date people of the opposite gender, that we can't practice S/M, that poly is wrong, that we can't change gender or defy the gender binary, etc, they all come from the same place, and we share a common enemy.
     
    #15 Hexagon, Jan 10, 2014
  16. terry chen

    terry chen
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    well, why should they keep it just in their club, a gay guy can hold hands with another guy and kiss in in public, a straight guy could holds hand with a girl and kiss in public, and a vanilla could don't spank their lover in public, so why should we keep our stuff in private, as for leather wearing, that's mainly to display pride
     
    #16 terry chen, Jan 10, 2014
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2014
  17. DrkRayne

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    Not for me, but I dont care what others do.
    I ahve a female friend who is majorly into it. she and her bf love this sort of thing. More power to them for knowing what they like and doing it.
     
    #17 DrkRayne, Jan 10, 2014
  18. AwesomGaytheist

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    If both partners (or better yet, all those involved) agree to it, and it's completely consensual, then go for it. Personally, that's not my thing. But if you've found willing partner(s) that enjoy that sort of stuff, then congratulations, and have a good time.
     
    #18 AwesomGaytheist, Jan 10, 2014
  19. Kasey

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    Like being gay or straight... to each their own.
     
    #19 Kasey, Jan 10, 2014
  20. Ruthven

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    I'm totally down with stuff like that. I myself am actually looking forward to doing BDSM/dom and sub related stuff when I get in a relationship.
     
    #20 Ruthven, Jan 10, 2014
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