Discipline

My parents hit me. I guess it shows a lack of imagination on their part and in the end it didn't work. Eventually I just was to big to be hit.

 

My parents (well, my mum; my dad thinks it's unacceptable not to believe and agree with everything he says and wants) have always had minimal rules. We were sent to bed when we were obviously tired, not on a clock-routine, we have always been forced to do homework (which worked because she told us we were only harming ourselves by failing a class), and she has always made us feel guilty when we've been lax on our chores. We are never unduly rewarded, nor are we denied recognition where it is due.

My mum knows that harsh discipline is a very bad thing; we were taught the basics and have gone from there on our own. My mum was treated badly by her old-fashioned parents, but had seen her friends' and sisters' children become bad by being spoiled. So she decided no unwarranted discipline and no spoiling; we're loved, but we're harshly and frankly criticised because of it. She straddles the line between satisfying us and satisfying herself, and that's what I think is the best way she can be a parent.

My mother wouldn't be able to enforce rules. But she doesn't need to. Because she hasn't demanded loyalty and love, we are loyal and loving.

 

My parents were kind of insane - they werent strict with discipline generally, but i was a horrible child - i dont think they knew what to do to punish me. I remember getting a potted plant (and a few other things) thrown at me by my dad. Or the time my mum chased me around the dining room table with a bat. Good times, heh.

 

My mom would stop talking to me. She literally would pretend i didn't exist. It has caused me some issues with people ignoring me, i automatically think they are mad at me (even though they could be busy).

For rebellion, well first off my father is a pretty tough guy, tall barrel chested. The kind of guy you don't fuck with. He squints his eye, and has this piercing scowl. Like a jungle cat about to cut your throat open.

My mother breaks under his anger, but my body takes after my father. I have the same mean face he does, and over the years I've learned it well.

I was about 14 when we were having a fight about something stupid. HE got right in my face, leaned over on the couch and asked me to repeat what I had said under my breath. I stood up got and inch away from his face and said "make me".

Ever since that moment, a lot of "bullies" don't scare me. We have some pretty mean teachers in my school, one's who when they become mad, it practically goes down in the history books. And I don't treat them with more respect, or any less.

That was the largest case of my rebellion. And since then, there has been nothing more.

My parents never hit me, or hurt me physically. You have to learn lessons for yourself.

 

Mom tried everything, but nothing worked until she started taking my things hostage. I'm more materialistic than I like to believe.

 

Bla I did it again. Sorry. Ignore this post

 

When I was Pre-7 years old, I was spanked. During that time and after she stopped, we had to stand at the wall for age=minutes. I don't have any now, haven't for the past few years. I don't want to sound like I'm being narcissistic, but I'm one of the nicest people you will ever meet. Even if I hate your guts, if you are sad, I do my best to make you un-sad.

 

Mainly, me and my bother would get grounded, or have to do some or other extra chore for a stipulated period of time. Or get sent to our room, which was not really bad, 'cause then we'd just play games. My folks didn't believe in hitting kids.

 

My parents used to hit me Nd my sibling when we were younger although very rarely. Nowadays they only get upset if we don't do our chores or we lie. Even then the only consequence is that they take away something ie games phone etc.

 

Some parents aren't prepared for certain types of kids. I was inquisitive and hyperactive. Also, I argued with them, and sometimes wouldn't back down because I had often done the legwork at the library, being studious, or by asking several knowledgeable people, whereas they relied on emotion when arguing. Not surprisingly, I got hit. It did not make things better. It made things worse. I resented them for hitting me, and so did some of my friends to whom getting hit was very foreign.

 

So I see I'm not the only one that had to face the wall. My parents spanked me, but my sister did things differently. She made me face the wall, sit down at a table and read out loud for an hour, grounded me, and even embarrassed me in front of my friends. So growing up I learned to lie and be sneaky. Of course now that I'm older and know better, I follow her 'rules' and I'm more honest than I was when I was a kid.

 

My mother was pretty strict when it came to disciplining me. If I did something wrong I'd be hit with a paddle, or a belt if the paddle's out of reach. If I was really bad she'd wait till I least expected it and take me by surprise. She also gave our neighbors, my nannies, family members, and close friends permission to hit me if necessary. Fortunately I learned to lie and became skilled at getting out of trouble at a young age. I was a rebellious and manipulative child. If I didn't like a nanny I got her fired. If another kid upset me I'd do something bad and make sure they got punished for it. My mother was none the wiser. Being hit did nothing to correct my behavior. If anything it only further motivated me to be more dishonest and careful about my activities as a child.

But i eventually grew out of my trouble making stage and became a rather quiet, reserved child. I grew obsessed with books, which my mother noticed. She then started punishing me by taking my reading materials and making me go out and play with other children. I honestly preferred being hit than this.

After having my brother she stopped physical punishments all together. She'd been paddling him one day and he just kind of fell unconscious for a few minutes. It's scared the crap out of her and now she's to paranoid to hit him.

Now as a teenager my mother has given up on discipline entirely. She's tired taking my stuff, grounding me, locking me in my room, nothing works anymore. I just sleep, one of my favorite activities. The only times I really get I trouble anymore are when I make smart ass comments or she's had a bad day and I'm at the wrong place at the wrong time.

 

My parents don't really have punishments for me at my age. If they want me to do something I really don't want to do, I can generally talk my way out of it. I don't generally openly rebel through actions- I'm rather afraid of what might happen. If I've done something bad, I lie about it, generally. Over time I've gotten quite a lot of experience lying to my parents, but it's become a bit of a problem because now I sometimes lie when it's really in my best interests to tell the truth.

But anyway. If I get found out, my mother usually has a stern talk with me, which usually ends up with me crying (don't worry, she's not, like, yelling at me or swearing at me or calling me awful things or anything, I've just got a low crying threshold.) The thing is, that's led to me being rather afraid of being near my mother and talking to her, as I'm worried something might come up.

 

My parents weren't above hitting under the right circumstances. I would never, ever say abusive. Thinking about it, any times that either one of my parents did strike me, I was certainly acting like a brat.

I didn't (and still don't) have the personality where I would disobey rules lightly or for the fun of it. Most times, my parent's punishments meant taking away trust when my sister and I broke it. Especially when we grew older. My parents would trust us until they couldn't (then we would have to earn it back). I can honestly say that my sister and I worked really hard to maintain that level of confidence.

 

My dad could get kind of abusive over control during his drinking binges, but overall my parents gave me almost infinite freedom. From the time I was born they treated me like a competent human being and an equal- I remember my dad telling me that he never used baby-talk, he just talked to me. I never had "chores" and was almost never actually punished. I think that this worked really well in a lot of ways- I'm generally very responsible, have confidence in my ability to handle things, and have a pretty positive relationship with them- but I do sometimes wish they were able to give me more direction. Part of it is just our situation, with an alcoholic father and a working mother, but I've almost always felt that if I didn't take control of things, no one would.

 

Hmm. I can't really think of anything lol. There wern't many rules, I was an only child and my parents were divorced. My mom spoiled me most of the time and pretty much let me do whatever I wanted. I was only with my dad on weekends so there wasn't much to discipline me for.

 

When I was a kid, it was spankings, getting screamed at, having privileges taken away. I was a relatively good, obedient kid so my parents never had to discipline me often. But as a teen, I wasn't rebellious either. I kind of cowed out, to be honest. Since my brother had behavior issues (Asperger's) growing up, I think there was always this pressure that I had to be the "good one" and after my sisters were born, that was double folded.

I remember a few incidents when my mother would push me against walls when her bipolar acted up but it's been years and since therapy/medication, she hasn't done it since. But man. I still panic when my mom flips out.

 

I was a good child. I never did anything that I had to be punished for except once. I can't remember what it was. I was ten. My mother told me I was grounded. After a couple of minutes I forgot I was grounded and left the front garden. Never got into trouble for doing that.

 

I never was punished or grounded. I was always a good boy . That said, I did sometimes bite my tongue in order to please them. I'm not sure if being smart and articulate helped get me out of potentially sticky situations. My parents were always complimented by how well-behaved and articulate I was. It helped that I was relatively more mature than my peers ever since I was little.