Italian with a side of judgment

I have been hesitant to come out, not because I am afraid of who I am, but because I don't think it should matter who I love. I suppose it is a soapbox of mine, but I'm sticking to it.

I've been dating a guy for about a month now. He's pretty cool and I enjoy being around him. I decided to have my best friend and him meet last night, so we went out to a local chain Italian restaurant, just the three of us, last night. Friday night. The night everyone goes out to eat.

I should pause to express that I have a deep faith in God which has evolved and changed over the years as I have read and understood the scriptures. It has been difficult to come to a balance between accepting myself and accepting that my beliefs do not necessarily agree with the things I was taught and heard growing up in my small, Baptist church in rural Georgia. I've learned that Christianity is not about following selective rules, but instead about following the teachings and example of Christ, learning to love the unloved and treat all with love and compassion. "The greatest of these is Love"

As we sat in our booth, gabbing about everything and everyone, my guy and I sitting across from my best friend, restaurant packed to the max, we were blissfully enjoying the evening we all dreaded (the nerve-wracking first meet of the best friend with the new beau). The meal was delicious and the company lively. Everyone was enjoying their pasta and peach teas. Next to us was a group of sweet ladies sipping wine and gossiping, and at the corner from us was a table of young folks, seemingly a double date. Our server was awesome and chatty, making us feel very at ease. It wasn't until the end that things became uncomfortable. The server comes to us, after we packed up our leftovers and were waiting on the check, and tells us in a very sorry and regretful tone that he will give us the check in a minute-that he doesn't want to give it to us just yet. We thought that was strange.

We pressed him as to why, and he said it had be taken care of already. He almost apologized as he said it, though, which was very strange- that's such a nice thing to do, right!? He just asked us to hold on a minute, as it later became obvious why: when he brought us the bill, he opened it on the table and said, "I'm really sorry to do this, but they asked that I give it to you exactly like this." Open in front of us was the little black book containing the receipt stub and three pamphlets offering us a ticket into heaven.

My stomach sank. Our waiter apologized for having to do it that way and at that point my hearing stopped, my heart sank, my gut felt sick, and I wanted to cry. We pressed him as to who it was that covered our meal, and he secretly directed our attention to the table that the young couples were sitting at, now empty as they had been leaving when he first mentioned the check. The server said something about it seeming bigoted and I couldn't process anything else. I'm just beginning my journey and here this is staring me in the face. My date almost went off on someone, my best friend was embarrassed and angry, and I was completely disillusioned, feeling guilty for this happening. My best friend was embarrassed, my date was enraged, and both were embarrassed. We all are people of faith.

I suppose we do still live in rural Georgia and all, and the gesture was kind of them: our ticket was around $60. But were we acting non-Christian? Were we swearing and talking about people? Were we leading anyone astray? Why... ?

I live my life quietly and try to be Christ-like. I did no differently last night. To think that someone thinks my eternal soul stands in need salvation because I held hands with a guy (descreetely, under the table and for like 5 seconds) is to not know me or my story at all, cliché as that sounds. I suppose it's a matter of splinters and planks, but I'm deeply hurt and I just wanted to share my story with the hope that someone else can offer some similar experiences and advice.

I love you guys- you have been amazing and continue to make me feel welcome and loved on this forum. Thank you!

Andrew

 

Thank you all for your shockingly level-headed input. I am always refreshed by the amount of maturity on these boards; perhaps I'm just a bit jaded by the rest of the internet and its idiots.

I took your advice and put it behind me. I can't hold it against him as he and I are very similar indeed. I, at one point in my life, would possibly have done something similar to what he did. As I have matured in my walk as a Christian, I have learned to not hold "it" against someone who does something I disagree with, realizing that we are all struggling to understand everything together. I simply accepted it as a gift and moved on. My best friend, who was the biggest concern for me, has not mentioned it for a while, and I think she has probably put it out of mind as well. Though, she is not one to forget quickly.

Cheers to you all. I hope you all are warm and well. We are thawing from the recent SnowJam2014 here in Northwest Georgia.