Why do some people don't believe that you can know your lesbian without having sex

Re: Why do some people don't believe that you can know your lesbian without having se

I see it as a "last resort" sort of thing. Some people don't want to believe it, so they try to play it off by saying that "you cannot know you are [insert identity here] unless you've slept with [insert gender here]".

 

Re: Why do some people don't believe that you can know your lesbian without having se

Ugh! I had that same thing happen to me today. Some guy didn't believe I was lesbian because I haven't had sex with a man or a woman. What do some people not get about attraction and that I am not attracted to men? Period. No question.

I have and always will think women are so much more attractive than men.

 

Re: Why do some people don't believe that you can know your lesbian without having se

To be honest, I wasn't sure how much it was all in my imagination before I slept with a woman. Then I thought to myself, "ah, yes, that all makes sense now...".

I think I've also had a lot of people not believing my same sex attraction over the years, from my own family to lesbians, which pushed me back into the closet, and made me doubt/second guess my attractions.

 

Re: Why do some people don't believe that you can know your lesbian without having se

My oldest sister said the same thing, "how do you know if you are gay if you never been with a man" .

I didn't think of it at the time, but should have said how do YOU know that you are stright since you never been with a girl. But yeah its stupid that some people think that way.
But going by their logic shouldn't they sleep with the same sex?

 

Re: Why do some people don't believe that you can know your lesbian without having se

Because they're stupid.

 

Re: Why do some people don't believe that you can know your lesbian without having se

Just use that as your argument. Say "By that argument, you must need to sleep with both a man and a woman to be sure that you're really straight." Tell them you know who you're attracted to without having sex, just like they know who they are attracted to. And also remember that there are allot of idiots in the world, but you don't have to prove yourself to them. You know who you are, and if they choose not to accept it that's their loss.

 

Re: Why do some people don't believe that you can know your lesbian without having se

And the straight? Why do this people say they're straight even before having sex with a man/woman?



All kidding aside, I suppose people set up being straight as a default-mode (like thinking the sun is the only very important star in the universe). If you think you're not straight, you have to try other feeling and other tastes (like having to move towards another, minor, star).

 

Re: Why do some people don't believe that you can know your lesbian without having se

I believe it's a denial thing, I've recently been told this exact same thing.. As long as you know, that's all that matters...

 

Re: Why do some people don't believe that you can know your lesbian without having se

I love to reply with "how do you know you're straight when you've never slept with [same sex]?" to stuff like this

 

Re: Why do some people don't believe that you can know your lesbian without having se

I know I'm a lesbian but there's always this little fear that, since I've not slept with a woman (or man) that I'll sleep with a woman and find out I've got it all wrong.

Or I'll sleep with a woman I don't fancy just because I'm so desperate to explore my same-sex feelings, not enjoy because I don't fancy her, then run back into the closet saying "I slept with a woman and didn't enjoy, I must be straight after all!".

 

Re: Why do some people don't believe that you can know your lesbian without having se

guess its a thing with people. they expect you to know since straight sex is just "tab-A into slot-B" and lesbian sex is....more.

DONT WORRY!!!!!!!!

I worried I wasn't really a lesbian since at 18 i hadn't even kissed a girl though I knew I was attracted to women and not men. Then I did and it was like a million lightbulbs went off and I LOVED IT.

Then i worried I might not like sex with a woman, since it involved oral and I had tried oral with a guy and it did nothing and I was thinking "well isnt this what sex with a woman is?"

Then I had sex with a woman and again, everything felt right.

Just because you haven't done it, doesnt mean you don't know that you're gay. My nephew is 9...and has the BIGGEST crush on his teacher. We know he is straight, even at 9. He thinks girls are pretty. he thinks his teacher is the prettiest and she is so smart and he gets happy when she says that she is proud of him for his homework.

Just like I had a crush on my 1st grade teacher Mrs Patterson. You just know.
I dislike how they say people can't know their sexuality...they say that except when you are straight.
Thing is...you know who you are attracted to.

 

Re: Why do some people don't believe that you can know your lesbian without having se

Whenever people throw that logic on me, the if you haven't tried it how do you know, I always throw it right back at them.

For example I'll something along the lines of, "Well you've never had sex with a guy. How do you know you don't like man's butt?" That usually shuts them up pretty quickly LOL and their logic kicks in. :icon_bigg

 

Re: Why do some people don't believe that you can know your lesbian without having se

Easy answer just throw the question back at them, "Well how did you know you where straight back when you where a virgin? ".

 

Re: Why do some people don't believe that you can know your lesbian without having se

My Dad said something similar. "You can't be a lesbian, you're too pretty."