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What is Homophobia really? (And how to overcome it)?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Siarad, Jan 22, 2014.

  1. Siarad

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    What is prejudice as regards homosexuality?

    Is it attacking those who are homosexual personally (physically or verbally)?
    Is it believing that it is wrong to be gay?
    Is it seeing gay as a disease?
    Is it actively wishing for people not to be gay to ease their pain?
    And many more...

    My thinking behind this post is based on a conversation with my parents I posted here about a few weeks ago. The summary version is that my left-wing, supposedly open-minded parents made it clear in a conversation with me that they would not want a gay child, because "it's so hard for people to be gay". I find it frustrating because my parents are my icons and the people I look to for guidance and suddenly they seem so homophobic [literally], as in they're scared of what it means for someone to be gay. My Dad has made comments about finding it weird that my brother posts lots of stuff about gay rights if he isn't gay. I tried pointing out to Dad that he marched in 'Rock Against Racism' in the 60s, even though he isn't black but he just couldn't associate that with my straight brother seeing the discrimination against gay people and choosing to fight against that prejudice. My Dad said that he was glad he didn't have a gay child because he wouldn't know what to say to them and Mum said "no parent would want their child to be gay because life is so hard for them". Neither of them know I'm gay, or are likely to know for a while based on how painful that conversation was for me.

    The point I find most ironic is that if I had to list things that are hardest for me about gay, they would run in this order:

    1) My parents being sad that I am gay and feeling like I have brought hurt to my parents [because they think it is hard for someone to be gay].

    2) Not being able to have children that are biologically/genetically mine and the person I love.

    3) Any prejudice there might be out there about my being gay that might mean people don't like me for being gay, just as they don't like me for being a feminist, left-wing, Atheist or anything else...

    So,

    What is Homophobia to you?
    How do we overcome the perception that Homosexuality is/needs to be a painful/distressing thing?
     
  2. CandyCutes

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    To me, homophobia is a terrible way of one's thinking about gay/lesbian/bisexual people. I guess you could consider it an umbrella term because lots have different reasons for not liking them.

    Being homophobic isn't cool, either u~u It's not even a phobia. Nobody gets intensely freaked out by gay people because they're gay. That's just... judgemental. And mean.
     
  3. KWDBM

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    Imo, "homophobia" as a term can mean *lots* of different things. In general, it's basically having a negative attitude towards LGBT people. That could mean insults, bullying, physical stuff, or more passive things like wishing there were no gay people, wishing your friend/neighbor/child wasn't gay, voting for anti-gay politicians, etc. The term is broad and covers a lot of different things.

    As for your situation, have you actually talked to your parents about how they feel? It's very likely that they have no idea how hurtful those sentiments would be to the child in question. They never want a gay child because they don't want life to be hard *for the child*, but in saying that they never want a gay child, they would in fact be making life hard for them. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. As long as they think that way, then any gay child of theirs *would* have a hard time, *because* of their way of thinking. Have you tried to explain that to them?
     
  4. YuriBunny

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    homophobia- irrational hatred of homosexuality: an irrational hatred, disapproval, or fear of homosexuality, gay and lesbian people, or their culture

    Basically anyone who thinks being gay is bad, weird, unnatural, or sinful is homophobic. It doesn't seem like an actual 'phobia' though because they don't appear to be afraid, just hateful towards gay people.

    They just need to realize that being gay is natural and we all like different people. Everyone deserves the right to love. :slight_smile::stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:ride:

    And as for your parents, that's awful. I would be devastated if my parents were to say that in front of me. :icon_sad:
     
  5. Aussie792

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    Homophobia is the vehement opposition to homosexuality, and it tends to be the really stupid and insecure kind. I'd say homophobia is the extreme insecurity of the traditional binary of gender and the roles imposed being undone, which a lot of people are terrified of. It tends to be an actual fear; of change and as a challenge to the supremacy of masculinity within a (non-existent) two-gender society.

    Heterosexism is the belief in the inherent superiority of heterosexuality above other sexualities. It's far more pervasive and harder to deal with because of a) how many people are heterosexist, and b) it's too subtle and ingrained for most straight people to either notice or care about (especially as most straight people are heterosexist.) The ever-present implication of the superiority of heterosexuality is everywhere, and when it's pointed out, straight people act as if it's nothing or that we're over-reacting. It's micro-aggression after micro-aggression that keeps building up, declaring us to be inferior, and because it's so ingrained into the popular psyche, it's considered "too sensitive" to oppose it. Even a lot of gay people are heterosexist (but it's not quite the same as self-denying homophobia/misogyny)

    The greatest threat to the queer rights movement as a whole (in the West) is not the Westboro Baptist Church or Neo-Fascists; it's the half-ally who doesn't understand the full implications of LGBT rights and its relation to gender and gender roles. The ones who support us in name, but refuse to dispense with the constricting gender roles and the social norms that constantly degrade us.
     
  6. Yossarian

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    Homo-phobia is fear of homosexuality, and what people imagine it might imply about homosexuals. Same gender anal/genital sex; pedophilia; childless unions; sexually transmitted diseases; sex orgies; sins against the Bible; perversion. You name it, they have imagined it, and condemn what they imagine and the people they imagine to do it, not what really happens.

    The homophobe thinks of all these things, instead of two people loving and committing to take care of each other, and in some cases wanting to commit to the relationship for life legally by marriage. They usually think of homosexuality as a behavioral choice rather than a status, and condemn people for making that "choice". They often consider the homosexual to be an inferior person, to be looked down upon, and not entitled to the same civil or human rights that they are; when they do this, we refer to them as "assholes".