I'm way too nervous to go. I lock myself into a room and don't come out until its too late to go for the appointment. What about you?
I just had my first session today, although I've been in therapy in the past. It's a bit like exercise: it seems daunting before you go and you might feel drained right afterwards but it makes you feel so much healthier and happier.
It's not that bad, awkward at first, but it gets much better very quickly. Don't miss your appointments, you're going to end up paying for them but not getting anything out of them. Might as well give it a shot if you're going to pay, no?
I was nervous for my first session. You just need to get it over with and go. One of the first things I told my therapist was that I was gay... Just to get it out of the way. She has helped me immensely with coming out and accepting myself. I don't regret it at all.
Therapy is great and it helped me deal with my sexual desires and depression and anxiety. But I don't know if I would do it over again. When I told my therapist about my sexuality his response was well my beliefs don't condone homosexuality but I remain nonjudgemental to your choices. Not much of a supportive response from a therapist but the good thing is he didn't try to change me and helped me find resources for lgbt people in the area.
Its not that bad depending on the therapist. All you really do is talk, the first session is always the worst, you don't know if you can trust them yet so its just awkward, they try and get you to open up but its hard to with someone you have just met. They won't tell anyone else anything that you say, unless the therapist believes you are a danger to yourself or others. (In my case that happened once when I said I was suicidal and I had the means to do it). They want to help you and if you find the right one it becomes pretty easy, I found it helpful since I could talk about things that I repressed and never told a living soul about (mostly regarding my sexuality) . I am just going to say give it a shot, its daunting. For me it was because I was still reluctant to accept that I had a genuine mental illness I thought the doctor and my boyfriend were both overreacting
I've gone to two sessions now, and it's not as scary as I would have imagined. Personally, the worst part was my first appointment, because my dad had to stay in the room for that one (considering I'm a minor). It was pretty difficult to explain to my brand new therapist that I had been suicidal for a whole year with him sitting right there, considering I'd never told him about that. At the same time, it was a huge relief to hear her say I probably have depression, panic disorder, and possibly mood disorder, just because now I know why I was having all these problems. Don't be afraid to try it. Yes, it does take a while to get used to it (I'm sure not used to it at all), but it's for the better in the end. Find a therapist you can trust and like talking to, and things will start to get a little easier with time.
Therapy shouldn't be making you nervous and anxious, if it is you need to find a new therapist. I've been seeing therapists since I was like 10 years old, right now I'm currently seeing four, yes, four therapists (a psychiatrist, a psychologist, and two social workers). Over the past year I've had to change therapists several times (social workers changing at my local LGBT center), each time it can be a little tough getting to know and trust that person, but eventually you get there. And if it turns out that therapist just isn't the right fit for you, you find a new one. Maybe it's just cuz I'm used to it...but anxiety is my main problem, I go to the therapists to try to treat it, if going to therapy is going to cause anxiety, then what is the point? The therapist's office should be a place you go to release your nervousness and anxiety. ---------- Post added 24th Jan 2014 at 12:00 AM ---------- As opposed to the wooden hospitals? But seriously I don't get all this fear of going to therapy? Your therapist is not going to send you to a mental hospital. Going to a therapist does not mean there is something wrong with you.
I never got anything out of therapy. Of all the sessions I go to, it is just complain, woe is me, I'm so angry, blah blah blah. I am paying this person to listen to me complain. They tell me to count to ten and not respind to things that make me angry. WHY THE FUCK do you think I'm paying you? If counting to ten helped, I wouldn't be here. One therapist told me "If you don't want to make another appt that's fine with me. I got better things to do in my life." I didn't pay for that session. I demonstrated the lack of progress to her with a little show of anger. When I was little, I went to hypnotherapy for anxiety. It helped a little, but I question how much of it was actually placebo effect. So I'll never go to a therapist again. I feel like it's utterly useless for me. No help at all.
Okay, mixed responses... I'm not afraid of going to therapy, I just... Maybe I am a little But my last one was old and made me uncomfortable enough not to go again Oh, also I can't open up at all when my mom is sitting in the room at the same time!
Two thoughts: Data: There are a lot of terrible therapists out there (probably more so than good ones) and it sounds like that's all you've had. A competent therapist wouldn't just let you complain, but would work with the core issues that come about from the complaints and help you work through them. And it was completely inappropriate, unprofessional, and arguably bordering on actionable for the last therapist to tell you she "had better things to do with her life." It sounds like she had some countertransference issues going on, which isn't uncommon, but a competent therapist realizes when they are happening and addresses them. SADTeen: I was really resistant when a friend of mine twisted my arm and got me to start therapy. It was a little scary... and I was in my mid-20s. It's really crucial that you feel a connection to the therapist, so if the last one didn't make you feel comfortable (it usually has less to do with age and more to do with how open and approachable the therapist is) then you were right to not go back. And... your mom absolutely should not be in the room with you. If I were you, that would be my first order of business with the new therapist: Just say "I'd feel a lot more comfortable if I could talk to you by myself." A really good therapist should be able to pick that up without you even saying it, but some will wait for you to ask. Any competent therapist should honor the request. Once your mom leaves the room, the next thing I'd do is discuss with the therapist what his/her rules are on confidentiality. Most will, if you make it clear, not talk about anything you say (other than threats of harm to self or others) with your parents without your advance knowledge and consent. This can be hard for parents, but most therapists that work with teens are pretty good at helping them understand why it's important. Keep in mind, too, that while we aren't therapists and don't serve the same purpose, the EC advisor team is also available for you to talk to one-on-one, so feel free to contact any of us if you want to do that.
You mat be right Chip. I'd be my luck to have multiple bad therapists. I was really put off when she said that, and since this was something I didn't want to do in the first place, it totally sealed the deal and turned my off permanently. Maybe anger isn't something that can be helped as much as social anxiety or certain things that affect the LGBT community. So OP, now that it's a new day and you say you're unsure about the mixed responses, you may get WAY more help from therapy then I do/did. Maybe it's just my personality, I don't know. If you think it may help, do it. Like Chip said, kick your mom out. My parents left the room when I was in hypnosis and whenever I had to get my privates checked by a doc. No exceptions. You NEED privacy!
Anger can absolutely be helped with good therapy, but it's complex and nuanced because there can be multiple underlying issues, some of which are emotional, some of which are biochemical, and some of which appear to be either genetically influenced or impacts on neural pathways in the brain affected by early childhood influences. The problem is... most anger management therapies in 2013 in the US tend to focus on cognitive and behavioral management techniques which are of limited effectiveness because they're putting a band-aid on the issue instead of working on the underlying issues. A competent therapist will do some exploration to understand the likely causes of the issues, and then the approach to dealing with it will be based on what's actually underlying the anger. Another huge factor -- which sounds completely contradictory, but sadly, is not -- is that many therapists are deathly afraid of strong emotions, particularly anger, but also anxiety and fear. So when a client starts to get to an issue that brings up strong feelings, which is often a doorway to understanding of the core issue, many therapists will, consciously or unconsciously, redirect, divert, or act to minimize or invalidate the expression of emotion because they, themselves, haven't worked through those issues themselves. That's one of the core issues with therapists and coaches that work with shame issues (which, unsurprisngly, often manifest as anger.) Very, very few programs that train therapists have any appreciable amount of self-work associated with shame, which is a big part of why therapists are so often unwilling to really "go there" with a client who has strong emotions. But if you find one who is willing and comfortable with it, amazing work can happen. So I'd say... don't give up hope.
I've had good and bad experiences. When I was younger, I was forced into visiting a number of therapists. I didn't like them. They just made me feel worse than before, and never did the slightest bit of good. Then when transitioning, I was forced to see a number of therapists in order to be allowed to transition. I wasn't actually in need of therapy regarding my gender, and this didn't go down well. A few months ago, I decided to visit my college's counsellor. She was actually really helpful, very understanding, and I'm glad I went. Yeah, I felt pretty damn anxious before going. Therapy has never been something I've found pleasant. But it turned out alright.
