Afraid of "living"

If you dropped dead tomorrow, would you regret not doing more and not having fun with life?

I was almost killed, and while I don't run out and do crazy stupid shit, I do try things once so I can gain the experience. If I HAD died, I'd be sad that I didn't hang out with friends more and see more of Earth's beauty.

 

You gotta go out and do things.

"Life is for the living"

You are alive. Go and live. Don't make me quote the lyrics from The Motto by Drake.

 

First off, there's nothing wrong with occasionally spending some time by yourself. Reading a book or writing something or doing something creative can sometimes benefit from some peace and quiet. So as long as you aren't just staring at the walls, you can be vigorously alive without hanging out with a ton of people.

However... I do somewhat concur with people who say you shouldn't spend all of your time alone or doing the same things. Getting new experience and meeting new people is healthier than just sticking to yourself doing the same things over and over again.
And yeah, sometimes things won't go your way. Sometimes you can meet quite a few people before running into someone you click with. Or you try something new but it turns out that it's not fun or you have no aptitude for it.

HOWEVER: that doesn't mean "failure". Quite often, the fear of failure is what stops people from even trying. But... often things like failure or success don't apply. If you don't immediately meet new friends, it isn't that you failed. Just that you didn't run into the right people yet. If you don't have fun or talent for something you try, then it doesn't mean you failed. Just that you need to accept it's not for you and that you should try something else instead.

With that in mind... maybe try just one new thing at first. What are things you always wanted to do? What are interests you once pursued but lost track of? Pick one (only one, at first), and focus on it. Dedicate one or two evenings a week to it. See if it's (still) fun. Also, only evaluate after a month or so. First tries are always awkward, so you need to give it some time. (Rome wasn't built in a day.)
Make this one new hobby into a part of your life. And only then reconsider doing anything more!

I shall quote my therapist from when I was flirting with depression: "don't make big plans to solve it all in one master stroke. Change one thing. Focus your time and dedication on it. And then we'll talk about it and see what else we can change!"

 

Wow- You sound like me at your age...or at my current age...Having fun & taking risks doesn't mean partying or dangerous stuff. Just outside the box for you. If your logical do something creative. Organized? Go mess up the kitchen cooking new cuisine you have never tried.(and make your Dad & boyfriend eat it) I am super uncoordinated but am looking for a yoga studio that offers pre-beginner as I was told I needed that. And my therapist said I should try knitting. Should be good for laughs. Will buy cheapest ugliest yarn.