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Someone asked me out and I panicked. :/

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by MoyashiAlice, Jan 25, 2014.

  1. MoyashiAlice

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    Hi,

    Although I am older I have never been asked out on a date before, unless you consider online people. Today however, that changed. In the area I work, a bunch of the stores have put a bunch of their merchandise outside on display. Since I was in charge of selling outside, I was around this other guy who worked at the store next door. Like all of the other people at the store, I just casually talked to him whenever there was literally no one around. I was around him oh, maybe 11 hrs between the past two days.

    Anyway, today he asked me out and I sort of panicked. First I thought he meant that if we had the same break that we might as well hang out (which I thought of as friends) so I was like, "Oh, sure, you mean when we have the same break?" He was like: ":confused: Uh, no, that's not what I meant..."
    When I realized what he meant, I literally felt the blood drain from my face, I felt a little lightheaded and my knees felt weak. I made up some excuse about not knowing my cell phone number and the fact that I had to ask my parents. (It's bad I know. :dry:slight_smile:

    Anyway, I have two questions about the whole ordeal. One, had anyone ever felt that afraid of someone asking them out that they feel they were going to pass out? Two, how is a better way of politely turning someone down without making them feel bad?

    Ps: I do have social anxiety disorder, is that why I hate the extreme fearful reaction?
     
  2. stocking

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    I also have social anxiety and this happens too it doesn't happen with guys but I freak out if people ask me for even normal things like if someone wants to hang out I get all nervous and feel like passing out
     
  3. MoyashiAlice

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    Yeah, I didn't like the guy or anything I just felt SO bad looking back on it for my awkward as hell response. That was why I was wondering what some good lines would be to politely turn someone down.

    Something like "Sorry, I'm not looking to date anyone right now because I'm focusing on school?" Would that be a good line?
     
  4. stocking

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    I think that's a good one Or sorry I'm not looking for a relationship right now could be a good one too
    wish I used these lines before :grin:
     
  5. SimplyJay

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    I've also never been asked out on a date... I don't know for sure how I'd react, but probably something very similar to what happened to you - I'd be scared/not know exactly how to respond.
     
  6. TJ

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    Don't worry - It's nothing to be too crazy worried about. Maybe just a little embarrassing. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
    And what you said, or something as simple as, "Sorry, I'm not looking for a relationship right now, but I'd love to be friends," would be absolutely fine. You don't have to justify your reason for not wanting a relationship, but being honest is way better than coming up with a crummy excuse.

    If I were you, I'd maybe try to patch things up with that guy. Honesty is a virtue.
    Maybe the next time you see him be like, "About the other day... I'm really sorry, I just got flustered as hell. The truth is, I'm not really looking for a relationship right now. I just got caught off guard is all - I didn't mean to make up a lame excuse."

    Anyway. Don't worry - I've done that too. I felt awful afterward because I made up a totally bogus reason, but I went back to them later and told them actually what was up.

    Side note: If he's a nice guy, maybe be friends? :grin:
     
  7. katwat

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    I don't think I was every asked out on a real "date" date except for one time. The guy was not my type physically but he was very nice and we enjoyed talking to each other. I would have gone on the date with him just as an experience except for where he asked me to go. I am pretty brave now but back then just talking to him was a stretch for me. I was so shy and so not into trying new things. He asked me to go to some specific club that I did not know that had a great moshpit. LOL The thought of it terrified me. I mean absolutely terrified me. I boggled the turn down too. I mean if I had said "that scares the crap out of me, maybe we could do something else?" we might have come up with something like a movie. I just said a flat out "NO." I have always felt rather shit about it because it was such a harsh turn down without any explanation at all. I just wonder how badly rejected he felt. I mean I was not crushing on him and he was not my "type" but he was nice and not bad looking at all. Hope I did not kill off his bravery or anything. I mean he actually asked me out on a pre-planned date which was nice. I have been married for nearly 19 years to a guy I have known for 24 and I cannot remember him every really asking me on a date. "Wanna hang on Saturday?" just isn't the same thing.