During January I haven't drank any alcohol. I quit smoking on New Years Day and have been eating healthy and losing weight. All was going well! Tonight I had a small family get together. I didn't want to go because I know once I've had a drink I have no self control. But I went, thinking I'd be able to take it easy. Obviously I proved myself wrong! I drank too much. And I smoked, which is something I haven't done since new year. I've just got home and I hate myself! I've been doing so well! I've been so proud of myself! Yet now I feel nothing but disappointment. I've let myself down. And it's all down to alcohol . I thought I'd share this. Just in case it inspires me when I wake up tomorrow sober! I'm even drunk as I post this, at 5.45am UK time. I'll probably regret this tomorrow. But I know it needs to be said!
Almost every ambitious goal you have in life will have a few setbacks along the way. There's no reason you can't get back on track tomorrow.
I like drinking, but not a lot. I'm a lightweight drinker. I have enough control over my actions, drunk, except unfortunately it makes me excruciatingly .... honest. It's like truth potion, except you don't even have to ask anything because I just blurt out all my secrets. If I hate your shirt, you'll know. That being said, I don't have a very addictive personality. I can get addicted to things, sure, but quitting smoking wasn't the hardest thing I ever did. Challenging, but not excruciating. I wish you the best. A slip up or two isn't something to hate yourself for, nobody is perfect.
I'm not trying to be rude, but alcohol didn't pour itself down your throat. You drank it even though you knew you might get a little iffy. It's a matter of self control.
Pretty much that... I have an alcoholic father, and living with him is practically demotivating. Just pour the crap down the toilet where it belongs.
Did your family know you had trouble with alcohol? If you know you can't control yourself, then you must stay away from these situations. Don't go anywhere near alcohol. Too many people overestimate their ability to resist temptation. It only gets worse if you're easily addicted to alcohol.
I'm sorry But don't think that this is the end of your goals. It's a small setback, and you can easily recover from it.
Folks, it's inconsiderate, insensitive, and downright wrong to tell someone struggling with alcoholism things like "the alcohol didn't pour itself down your throat." It's way more than a self-control issue. The latest research indicates a strong likelihood that brain chemistry (specifically dopamine and endorphin pathways) is influenced early in life by various factors that increase risk for addiction. For the addict or person with an unhealthy dependence on alcohol, it is not simply a question of "weak will"; it's a powerful message in the brain. Telling an alcoholic "just don't drink" is pretty similar to telling a diabetic "Metabolize your sugar better, dumbass." To be clear: I'm not giving those with alcohol problems a pass; I am, however, saying it's nowhere near as easy as people who aren't alcoholic make it out to be. To the OP: First, it takes a lot of vulnerability, drunk or not, to come here and share the goals you set for yourself, and to talk about the downfall. Dealing with addiction isn't easy, and most people require help and support of those around them. Additionally, particularly with alcohol, the problems tend to run in the family, so going to family gatherings can often be dangerous, because temptation, as well as dysfunctional patterns in the family, can pretty easily derail you. Slip-ups happen, but tomorrow is another day. Think of it not as having screwed up and starting over from scratch; you had a good start of almost a month, and a slip. So recommit yourself tomorrow, throw away any alcohol or cigarettes you have, and keep focused on your goal. You're already way better off than you were even a month ago, and you'll only continue to improve by simply recommitting to yourself and picking up where you left off. I do recommend AA as a great resource to help you maintain sobriety. It's helpful not only in supporting sobriety, but in cultivating groups of friends who are also committed to sobriety, so you have people around you with the same goals and values you have. And don't let the religious stuff chase you away if you're non-religious; AA doctrine is clear that "God" is "whatever we deem him to be", so, for example, I know one person who says that "God" is "Great Opportunity Daily" In any case, don't beat yourself up. This is not a willpower problem, it's a biochemistry problem, and it takes a good amount of time for the brain chemistry to begin to reset, but it will. You will likely never be able to use in moderation, but you will be able to be happy, healthy, and alcohol and tobacco free.
I'm someone that's also struggling with alcohol and I totally don't agree with this, it's much more than a self control issue. Back to OP, I'm so sorry buddy! (*hug*) Don't be so hard on yourself, it's just a minor setback. Tomorrow is a brand new day and you can start over again! You have been doing so good in your goals, you have the courage to continue!! I know you're feeling disappointed but I'm still cheering you on! Have you ever talked to anyone about this? Have you ever considered AA? I talk it out with my best friend and he's always supportive, he's stopped me many times from drinking myself to death.
Thanks for all your comments, even you Data haha. As predicted, I woke up feeling horrible and disappointed with myself, and have sat around all day beating myself up. But I've just reached the point of thinking what's done is done and I can't change the past. I will achieve my goals if I am determined. So it's back to being healthy today . I'm glad I posted this because your replies have encouraged me to get up and move on! Thanks everyone .
I disagree with those who disagree. I was strongly addicted to Oxycodone. Arguably one of the strongest addictions to break. It was 100% my self control. I kept my oxy close at hand, took too much, took it too often, and didn't want to stop. Once I realized I was way out of hand, I gave my pill bottle to my mother and started withdrawals. It was hell. I can't eat chocolate because of my IBS. I LOVE CHOCOLATE. I haven't eaten it in 10 years. I can go out and get chocolate at any time, but I won't because I'll have extremely painful stomach pains and I'll be sick all day long. I'm not talking as a spectator. I have battled a very strong addiction, it WAS difficult, and ultimately it was my lack of self control that got me into it and my will to maintain self control that eventually got me back out. Sorry if you think I'm rude, but that's the truth.
I've never seriously drank, and I never ever ever will smoke but last summer I became a vegetarian and one month in I was tired and I ate a sandwich with roast beef, I felt absolutely terrible afterward and I never want to do it again. I felt so guilty mixed with a serious stomach ache because I lost the tolerance necessary to consume meat. After that I still refuse to eat meat and am much more careful. It will get easier.
What you're saying actually fits perfectly with the latest knowledge of brain chemistry. Gabor Maté, MD, in his book "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts", talks about Vietnam vets coming back from combat. Some phenomenally large number of them (I'm going to guess 20%, the exact number isn't important here) came back addicted to heroin. They were treated through the VA hospital system. 10 years later, only about 1 or 2% were still addicted. Now, statistically, opiate addictions have a really high relapse rate, so you'd expect a much higher percent to be still addicted than 1 or 2% when 20% had been addicted upon returning. But if we look at the research on early-iife brain chemistry development, specifically dopamine and endorphin pathways, this makes sense. Anyone who takes oxycontin or heroin (they're essentially the same thing) over time will develop dependency (addiction) to it. The difference is... if you have the brain chemistry problem from early childhood, you'll be in the 90% that relapse within 3 to 5 years. If you don't have the brain chemistry problem... you'll be able to get clean (it will still be miserable for a while), but you will be much less likely to relapse. This is why only a small percentage of the Vietnam vets who came back addicted remained addicted years later. The same is true for alcohol addiction. So the point is... Data's story is absolutely true, and accurate, for Data, because from what he describes, even though his addiction was just as real, and just as devastating, as someone else, his brain chemistry wasn't the source of the addiction; the powerful, addictive nature of the drugs was. Once they were removed, the brain chemistry corrected itself and the addiction is no longer a serious risk. For someone with the brain chemistry problem, the ability to stop based on willpower simply is not there. This isn't supposition, and it isn't something that's really in dispute by anyone credible in the addiction field. Now, over time, those with the brain chemistry issues can "rewire" the brain chemistry and reduce the risk, but they will always have greater risk than someone who never had the deficiency in the first place. So please, Data, don't apply your own situation to everyone else's, because they simply aren't the same thing. BTW, Dr. Maté's book is a fascinating, and extremely well-researched and well-documented book, and if it's a topic that interests you, I highly recommend it.
