Masculinity

Why are you concerned with coming across as more masculine?

 

Ya, I don't get it. I'm naturally feminine, and I have come to love that about myself. I have no desire to be masculine, and while I can understand you might want to--and we have different desires that way--I am just wondering why.

 

Well, you can't really do anything about the voice besides inhaling argon... uh, don't do that, that was a joke. More expressive body language is generally regarded as feminine. Clothing can also be feminine, especially with color (I think all my shirts are different shades of gray) but body language is really the big one.

Don't really know why you want to be more masculine (I think feminine guys are the cutest) but if you have a good reason like you're being bullied, I hope I helped.

 

And I don't really get what's go great about femininity, either.
Anyways, I think I'll be able to help if I get some more details.
What traits do you have that you think are feminine?

If bullying is the issue, becoming very strong and muscular will basically give you leeway to do whatever the hell you want. It would be very hard. It would definitely be worth it, though- muscular people are generally viewed as very masculine. Nobody makes fun of the strong. Whether you end up feared or respected would be up to your character...

 

Nah, this isn't the appropriate solution.

If someone's being bullied for being effeminate, then it says more about the bullies than it does about you. I don't think trying to change your natural behaviour is very healthy.

 

Oh trust me, there are a lot more gasses that would make your voice lower. But they do not solve anything

Posture and the way you walk is a key indicator of masculinity or femininity in our society.

A tad bit of arrogance is also considered masculine, typically wearing darker colours, as well as muscle. These are stereotypes, yes, however a lot of masculinity/femininity/gender roles in general is based on the societies stereotypes.

 

Why? You'd only be pretending to be something other than yourself, and that isn't good.

 

It's far more "masculine" to shrug the criticisms off, and live life how you see fit.

 

Trust me, it's not gonna work, or at least to your advantage. I did go through a period of time when I tried being more masculine and manly and such, just to fit in. At the end of the day, I was getting accused of being sexist (although I was only making jokes), I was still being called "cute" by several people (which I now tend to use to my advantage) and I ended up just trying to conform, which never helped. I wasn't really happy. I mean, yeah I had friends. But the people I had as "friends" weren't really friends. My true friends were still the misfits that loved me for who I am, and embraced all my flaws. And those are the people that I still talk to.

Here's how it's gonna work: You're gonna ask yourself the same question every day: "How can I be manlier? Well, obviously being gay isn't gonna work. I need to work out more. I need to have a deeper voice. I need to stop dancing. I need to drink more," and you'll end up doing things that society wants you to do, and you won't really be happy. You'll start falling down a hole you never wanted to end up in the first place. The whole notion that conforming will make you happier is an illusion, and I advise you get rid of it now. Fuck those people who say you need to be "manlier" or anything else. Fuck them. They won't really care about you as a person. They will only care about how "manly" you are. Or how much you drank with those chicks last night. Or how high you got. You won't be secure until you can fully be yourself.

If you're naturally feminine, whatever that means, then so be it. It's all subjective, anyway. One person will say that you're fine, and another person will say you need to be something that you're not. No matter what you do, no matter how you are.The people that care about you won't worry about petty things. They'll care about your well-being and how happy you are. Because if you're down in the dumps because you're "not many enough", then they're in a bitter mood as well.

Seriously, be yourself. And fuck those who say otherwise. Because fascism is so 1940's.

 

" I'm interested in being sure of myself."

What does that mean exactly? "Sure of myself".

 

Is that to imply feminine people are less sure of themselves?

 

And what's wrong with being more on the feminine side exactly? Your reasons so far are rather confusing. :eusa_doh:

 

I don't think there is really a problem with him thinking that being on the femme side is wrong for him.

Try to cut him some slack people.

 

But if he's default/natural behaviour is feminine, then how could it be wrong? Even if he doesn't perceive his behaviour to suit his current circumstances, how could it possibly be more wrong than acting falsely masculine?

 

Yeah I agree with that, I'm just thinking that everyone here thinking he is femme bashing with little evidence... is not being very helpful is all.

 

Maybe he wants to talk more masculine because unfortunately that may be more helpful to him in regular interactions with people depending on where he lives.

I don't really know a defined way of speaking masculine because guys speak in so many different ways, and I have come across many straight guys that talk more "girly" than a typical gay male. There is something in the pattern of speech though that sort of segregates males and females, I forget what but I'm sure a quick google search will show you it.

The only advice I can give is try to leave out typical valley girl speech, and be more direct and forward in what you say, no need for unnecessary information.

You should only be trying to change the way you talk if you think it'll improve how strangers react to you, just so you can buy something at the grocery store without a funny look...etc, again I don't know how your area is and how they react to what you're describing. But if your doing it to fool people into having a relationship with you that is wrong, because you obviously only want to be friends with people who like you for who you are.

People who are bashing need to understand when it comes to getting a job in certain areas, or being treated normally at like a restaurant, you may need to change up how you act.