Selfish was always used as in insult, but why? What does anyone ever do that doesn't ultimately contribute to their own happiness? People with adoration sparkling in their eyes in cliche movies often declared that they exalted in making their lover smile, something that is seen as adorable and giving. That was ridiculous, though, making someone happy because it makes you happy is extremely selfish. That's exactly what selfishness is. It was extraordinarily rare that anyone did anything that didn't somehow improve their own existence. Directing a confused person through buying a bus ticket is nice, yes, and doesn't have an immediate or obvious impact on you, but aren't you proud of yourself for doing something supposedly selfless? And if someone you absolutely despised was having problems with a ticket machine, would you explain what buttons did what to them? Maybe I am just a selfish bitch, but I definitely wouldn't. I'd ignore them completely and go do something that wouldn't annoy me and make someone who pissed me off happy.
Because you've missed out a fundamental element of that insult, you wouldn't call someone selfish for those things! The insult needs the aspect where you are doing something to further your own ends at the expense of everyone else. So in your bus ticket example, that might be meeting your enemy, buying your own ticket first and then getting him a ticket to Norway just so he gets a fine later...OK that's quite an extreme answer, I'll try a bit harder! Making your lover smile. Hey baby I got you your favourite cake! I'm so glad you like it! (He'll never know it had been delivered to next door and I took it). Or if you go for the times we are likely to be called selfish: You go galivanting around being gay without the slightest consideration for what people might say to ME, your own mother! I'll be a laughing stock because of you! Selfishness is inherent in every action, it needs that detrimental effect on others before the insult comes in to play...
I think the word selfish is not an insult, the bad thing about being selfish is to make someone sad or miserable just to seek your own happiness. I think everyone deserves to be happy and that is not selfish, if you do things for the sake of your own happiness that's fine, what is not good is to seek it among others.
You're sort of right, but as I understand it, the definition of selfishness is active disregard for others while purely seeking your own gains. Giving someone a gift you know they'll love in order to make you feel good isn't selfish, but giving a gift *you* like and they don't with the knowledge you'll get to use it frequently is. It's still a reprehensible thing to be called, IMO similar to "coward" except not quite as harsh.
I think there needs to be a good balance of Selflessness and a desire for ones own happiness too. Balance, not one or the other, Balance..............
selfishness is an insult, even monkeys ignore and shun other monkeys who dont share or co operate and there is a reason too, because you benefit more in sharing and co operation, its a survival instinct. besides you can always take examples from your own personal experiences, like that one bitch who never lent you a spare pen when you needed one?
