I'm sorry guys i have to rant about this...

[Phixit]

I HAVE to get this off my chest cause its REALLY annoying me now..
I just want to know your feelings on this!!

So I was talking with my friends and over the last few weeks I’ve noticed that gay guys who say they are a “bottom” get a lot of stigma from a few people.

People feel this makes a guy less of a man or promiscuous and sluty, and the top is “the man” in the relationship.. I mean come on someone’s got to be a bottom right!

*GRRRRRR*

This really Pissed me off I get enough stick from straight people in my area judging gay people. But now gay people are judging other gay people for being a bottom

I’m not a great fan of labels anyway(labels and closets are for clothes right =P) but using “top” and “bottom” is the only way I could get my rant across. I say do what you want to do, what feel right for you and the relationship.

Now I don’t want to know if you’re a top or a bottom, it’s your business no one else’s, and quite frankly I don’t care!

I just want to know how you feel about it and have you or a friend you know experienced stigma from being a bottom

phew, ok rant over!
x

[Trumpetplyer23]

Masculinity (or feminity, this applies to both) to me seems to be an iffy subject.

Here's what I think. Just because you don't play football, treat women like crap, or guzzle beer (or any other 'manly' stereotype) doesn't make you less of a man. In my opinion a man is a guy who can stand up for himself, takes pride in who he is, and doesn't care what the world things.

Masculinity does not equal being some macho beefhead. Masculinity is about being a man. There's different ways to do that. By taking responsibiilty for yourself and fixing the problem, you are being a man.

Stereotyping. We all do it, even if it's just a little bit. However, if the LGBT community stereotypes themselves, where are we left as a group?? It'll show the non-LGBT community that the stereotypes are true, because we believe them.

Being a man doesn't mean that you are powerful and consider yourself better than others. I know plenty of guys that pride themselves on being men, but not in a macho way.

Another thing I've always wondered. Why do people give a flying hoot about what other people do behind closed bedroom doors? It's personal, it's not part of your everyday public life, just your private life between you and your partner. Why should people think a guy is less of a man if he is a bottom? Why do they really care that much?

[MeskElil]

*applause*

VERY well-said, Trumpetplyer! I couldn't have put it better myself.

[Andrew]

Yeah Trumpetplayer, you hit it right on the spot.

-Luis

[Daniel]

Actually, I luckily have friends who are genuine sluts so, I don't get that label.

Usually I get questions about anal sex and am willing to answer them. No one thinks of the bottom as the slut in the way that I present it, it is simply another good sensation and way of bonding.

Sorry that this probably didn't help...

[Stargate]

I hole heartyly agree with you. I'm totally a bottom (in the sense of a relationship), or as some annoying people like to say the "girl" in the relationship. While not completly out yet I can still see the stigma on it.

I've read a lot into all this and the problem comes from the issuse of male dominance. Traditionally men have always been the "top". Straight guys just dont like the thought of a guy whos submissive to another one. Its one of the main issues against homosexuality. Its also a reason why gays get a little more attention then lesbians.