By non traditional, I mean unlike how the majority end up directly telling someone they know 'I'm *fill in a label*.'(whether it be saying it them, writing it in a letter, etc.) Since going through the usual feelings, questioning, and ya di da and finally getting to a point where I've found what fits, I've come to the conclusion that this traditional way of coming out just isn't my thing. I'm at a point where it is just too uninteresting(or I don't care)/unsettling of a thought to get the words out to someone, whether by letter or talk; Hell, I can't even look in a mirror and say 'I'm gay' and honestly don't care for the word in general when describing myself still. However, I'm also at the point where I'm not waiting around to do anything until I like the term, otherwise nothing will ever get done. Putting myself out there(offline at least) isn't something I'm really fond of but I am using online resources as a beginning way to connect with others around in hopes of making some new friends. Hopefully, at some point, things will even lead to me getting my first boyfriend. Even then, as of now, I don't really plan on saying those two words to anyone. Rather than saying them, I'd rather us do our own thing and just let everyone pick up on it themselves over time. Anyone else share a similar mindset?
Thats how i feel CP - like i want people to know so bad cause i hate not being honest, but i dont want to actually say it. Like if people could just gradually realise kind of. I hate how we have to announce it, straight people have it easy
To be honest I kind of did that, I just moved to another place and used that chance to start living as an openly gay guy. I started saying I was into guys whenever a conversation about that kind of things came up or someone mentioned how hot a woman was. It worked pretty well for me but I eventually had to come out anyway to my family since they seemed unable to get the hints, i really wanted them to know and I didn't want them to know from anyone else. I guess it kind of depends on the kind of relationship you have with your family and friends who don't know, just being yourself and honest from the beginning with the new people you may meet is nice (I don't really consider that coming out) and with your old family and friends.. well I guess the best idea would be to handle the situation way more carefully and be honest if they ask.
I believe I share a similar mindset in which I just hope people pick up on it (that I'm Bi) over time. But I think I will tell my parents the old fashioned way in that I'll have a sit down with them and mention I like both guys and girls. I just hope there isn't any big "hooplah!" about it.
Because all my relatives lived out of the county I grew up in I found it better to come out to all of them online. Being the only time I saw them was at family gatherings and that would not be a good time. It is hard to come out online because you cannot exactly play out people's actual reactions but at least they all know now.
I feel you there. I don't really like having to hold back things for now but I'd rather do my own thing and just allow others to figure out the puzzle for themselves. The idea of flat out telling someone is more or less eh to me. I feel for those who have to. With my family, we are pretty damn close but they are wild cards with varying degrees of homophobia and ignorance(some anti-gay and some who show signs of tolerance but have their moments and some it wouldn't matter to; they all have big mouths though, ha), so they are the main reason I don't feel like/am not interested in coming out in the traditional sense. They are the main ones I'd rather just find out whenever I do get that first boyfriend and stuff. If they can't get the point then, that's their problem honestly. It'll allow them time to adjust on their own time(if they even want to) as I won't be 'throwing it in their faces'. As far as living openly, like the OP implies, I'm not quite ready but hopefully will be soon enough. Hooplah can be so annoying, haha. Good to know someone shares a similar mindset though. I don't use social media as much as my family and friends, so I'm not sure how things will play out there, although I doubt I'd bring it up through email or anything either. The good thing about online is that I won't even need to do much on my own for the most part, as I wouldn't be opposed to a hypothetical bf posting their own stuff. :eusa_danc
As for coming out my family and friends knew I was out regarding crossdressing and such but once I got my implant it was quite obvious to all
I'm kind of young to have an input on this, but I know once I'm done with college I want to move somewhere (like a big city) and, like you said, use that chance to be openly gay. I can't ever bring myself to come up with these coming out speeches. :bang:
Sometimes I wish I get exposed accidently online or via some "gossip" channel. But for now I m focussed on typing up a letter to my folks. Most of my friends know so when they see it on Facebook they will probably reply "at long last!" and "Like" it.
I am with you guys. I hate labels and I still have trouble saying those two words because they are so DEFINING, laden with stereotypes and misinformation. I just want to love who I love and it not matter. Because in the end, does it really have any affect on anyone else?
If you have never been married and tell people you have no interest in being married, then you've sort of come out in the non-traditional sense. That's how I see it.
