I get told by a lot of people that I need to love myself. I don't get what they mean? It sounds kinda narcissistic
Why is narcissism so bad? LOL! I would invite you to check out my thread entitled "So...Love" in the Later in Life section. There's some good stuff in there from all those who have contributed that might give you some insight into why loving yourself; which means knowing yourself deeply and accepting who you are, is so important and why loving yourself is a pre-requisite to loving someone else.
It's when you're the source of your own confidence. It's really the most powerful type of love there is
Hi Beware of You. I posted this song already in another thread but I'm going to post again here for you. It got me through some tough times in high school and I think Christina is pretty good at summing up what it means to love yourself, no matter what the world throws at you. [YOUTUBE]Christina Aguilera - Beautiful - YouTube[/YOUTUBE] P.S. I wish I knew how to make the video show up here. But this Youtube xml thingy isn't working.
I think people tend to use the phrase "love yourself" interchangeably with the phrase "accept yourself", which is silly, because the concept has nothing to do with love. It has to do with being comfortable within your own skin and accepting yourself for who you are without feeling the need to change things for the sake of outward appearances. It's about being at peace with the things that make you you; the things that cannot or should not be changed.
I could have written something much longer when this response is a concise version. Or "be happy with who you are" in essence.
Loving yourself means you see the things you're good at and you don't dwell (at least not too much) on things you're not good at. You don't let other people's negative thoughts hurt you. When someone loves you they make you feel better when you're feeling down, they'll comfort you in your time of need...loving is yourself is pretty much just doing those things for yourself.
I used to spend a lot of time actively hating myself. I would stand in front of a mirror picking out flaws, real and imagined, and just say "I hate you I hate you I hate you." I never felt worthy of any form of happiness at all. I eventually learned how to pick out ONE thing that I did not hate when I was feeling that way. I like my eyes or my nose is not badly shaped, whatever it was that I could find to not be negative about. From that I began to build up to another thing and another. When all the negative voices in my head started their yammering I could pull up my little list of "things I do not hate about me" and that list eventually grew into a "things I like about me." After enough time and practice of getting the negative thoughts to sit down and shut up I found a bit of self confidence. With confidence you move through life differently. You try things you want to try. You speak to people, voice your opinions, laugh when you feel like laughing. You begin to meet positive people, people who treat you well. You have the confidence and feeling of self-worth to recognize you deserve to be treated well. You just don't waste your time with people who don't give you respect or who are negative towards you. When those things start falling in place you come to realize that you are a pretty awesome person. You will find your faults are outweighed by your strengths. You will be able to work on your faults to make them better. It all starts with loving yourself enough to try. To take care of yourself like you would the person you love most in the world. If you are close to a parent, sibling, friend, etc. how would you treat them when they are down? That is how you treat yourself. You wouldn't batter your best friend when they are feeling down by telling them they are right and they are worthless. You would do all you could to make them feel better, to show them what you like about them, to make them feel loved. That is what you do to yourself when you love yourself. Be your own best friend instead of your own worst critic.