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What makes you fall in love with someone?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by thekillingmoon, Feb 1, 2014.

  1. thekillingmoon

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    I don't mean what makes you initially attracted to someone, like appearance. I mean in the long run what makes you feel like they are the right person for you?

    For me I'd have to say kindness. If she's a kind person to me and to others and treats me with respect.

    Someone I can be myself with and feel comfortable.

    Doesn't say I'm too shy. I hate when people say that cause they say it like it's a bad thing. So even if she thinks I'm shy, she doesn't feel the need to point it out to me and make me feel bad.

    Tries to cheer me up and talk to me when I'm sad. Cause I'd do the same for her.

    Takes my side and sticks up for me when others are being mean to me for no good reason. Even though I'd never actually ask for that.

    Makes me smile and want to be around her always.
     
  2. WalkingDino

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    The way they treat others, if they show kindness and respect ill know ive found someone thatll treat me with both of those things. Someone I can depend on, if im feeling down they know how to make me smile, make me laugh because the make my life better with them in it. I guess the important thing would be someone i can see my future with, they give me security, trust and never lie for no good reason.

    If she likes scifi ill totally throw all of those things out the window, joking of course :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:.
     
  3. KWDBM

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    .... If I knew the answer to this question, maybe I could stop myself from falling for the wrong people.

    If I really think about it, I guess I'm drawn to people who are compassionate, someone who really shows they care about me... Someone who knows my flaws and instead of backing up or being awkward around me, just accepts me and tries to help me when they can. And as much as I hate mushy romantic stuff in general, I'll fall hard for a romantic, the soft looks and the sweet whispered words.

    After I've fallen, though, none of that matters. All that good stuff can just evaporate and I'm still stuck in love. *sigh*
     
  4. Jinkies

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    - Similar interests
    - Ideally within a niche
    - Willing to do anything for you as you return the favor
    - Something physical
    - Genuine about their actions
     
  5. dissimulator

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    I really do not know though, I keep falling over someone and I still cannot find a reason.

    But what makes me stay is when that someone does not suffocate me e.g asks about my whereabouts every five seconds. I know that it indicates that the other party really cares and whatnots but it just feels suffocating sometimes.
    And someone who is both responsible and kind.
     
  6. Randy

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    In the long run, honestly, love is a foreign concept to me. Yes, I know the short run definition of love because it's a word thrown way too much. I think that besmirches what the real definition of love.

    But I'll try my best to answer this question. What makes me fall in love with a person cannot be defined. It is like dividing by zero...cannot be done. I think I'm uncapable of love in the long run. Each person I meet, I only have a crush on them for a short time. There is no person that I can see everytime and say I love them. I know that sounds a little cynnical...actually a whole lot cynnical; however, if I look at someone and say something to them that is expected of me to say, I will not say it for the off-chance that I really don't mean it. I hold my words dear to my heart and if I say something that is not from within, what's the point of me saying it? That is why I say I am uncapable of loving someone in the long run. It's an equivalence relation: I say what I think if and only if I think what I say
     
  7. duende84

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    Sadly, in my personal opinion I still have to "fall in love" in the proper way... but my idea of it is mirrored in the few first posts. Respect, interest in eachother not just physical but mentally.
     
  8. awesomeness

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    - Someone who loves me as much as I love them (extremely important)
    - Someone I just naturally 'click' with personality-wise, basically someone who could be my best friend as well
    - Someone who I find physically attractive

    That's basically it
     
    #8 awesomeness, Feb 2, 2014
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2014
  9. thekillingmoon

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    ^Mutual love is great, but sometimes you can find yourself becoming emotionally attached to someone who doesn't care much or only sees you as a friend. I wish love only worked both ways, those one sided feelings are the worst.

    For people who have never been in love. Don't worry, you will at some point in life. I didn't fall in love with anyone until I was in my twenties. Before that I used to have crushes, some of those crushes I'm not even sure were real.
     
  10. Wasp

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    -a good personality match
    ...... and yeah that crazy clicking you get from eyecontact
    - and some sort of physiological attraction
     
  11. TheStudent

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    Respect and not being shallow is mega important.
     
  12. resu

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    I have fallen for guys who show unusual kindness towards me and just being friendly in general. They are usually well-liked by others and have few, if any, enemies, and they seem to all have a very quirky sense of humor. I say unusual kindness because most guys (usually straight) try to put on a macho, tough guy persona, and when a guy gives me a compliment or special attention, I definitely notice.
     
  13. Straight ally

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    It goes like this:

    I see a person so hot that my eyes jump at the sight, and when im thinking things cannot get any better, i then get to know the person better and her personality is as awesome as her looks.
     
  14. stocking

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    If they have a cool personality and a kind person and very caring . I also like people who are not scared to be themselves and very confident in who they are .
     
  15. Bolin

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    I'm not sure. I've fallen in love five times now. Each time has been different and only once has it progressed from being "in love" to actually loving that person. There aren't any common denominators with these five men, no matter how hard I try to analyze it.
     
  16. Colours

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    It's really complicated and I have really high standards. But the one and only time I was truly in love with a guy, it was mostly because he showed a lot of genuine interest in me and my family and friends when he was getting to know them. I find that really attractive. I'm not talking about asking what I have been doing and the like, but deeper questions, like how certain things make me feel and what my opinion is on things. And like I said, just the overall kindness and chattiness towards people he knew I cared for (and pretty much anyone, really). I think that's what made me fall for him. Basically the unusual kindness reso mentioned.

    And humor, of course. The moment we start having inside jokes with each other, where we just look at each other and we know what we're laughing about, that eye contact just sends me falling, really.
     
    #16 Colours, Feb 2, 2014
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2014
  17. FrozenFae

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    Intelligence and empathy are the two biggest characteristics I look for. A good dark and morbid sense of humor is a plus also. But really, a truly kind and gentle heart is a surefire way to melt my own heart.
     
  18. Dryad

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    I fall for people with very expressive faces (I find that cute), who speak their minds straightforward and have deep personalities.
     
  19. freeskies

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    I dont really know, because i have not been in any relationship. But i would say after the initial attraction phase, in the long run i would love a guy with more optimism and genuineness.
     
  20. Teesgirl88

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    I'm kinda a hard person to be around, but what constitutes love for me in the long run is very simple:
    It's about being comfortable and honest for me. If you can't be honest with me, regardless of the consequences of those actions, its not even worth it for me.

    It's also about communication and the sharing of ideas.

    love should create something beautiful where there was nothing before.

    These rules apply in my friendships and my romantic involvements. If I can't be me and they can't be them, then what is the point.:soapbox: