Trying not to cry

I am having a real hard time tonight. I lost my second pet in two days. The rooster I lost yesterday had been ill and it was expected. He was in a lot of pain and it was something of a relief for him to pass as gently as he did.

Today though I lost a young chick. She was perfectly healthy yesterday. She showed no signs of illness or injury. I just found her dead in the coop this evening when I was doing chores. It is so hard when they are young and healthy.

I tried to cheer up tonight by having a family movie night but the hubby and kid pick probably my least favorite movie that we own so it was not very distracting for me. I have been trying not to cry but the tears are winning.

I really hate when I feel like this. Every single time I lose a pet I question everything I have ever done with them to try to spot what I screwed up. I KNOW I did nothing wrong with this chick but I still feel like I failed it. I really hate this cold weather we are having because even though I keep heat lamps in the coop it still gets cold enough that if any chicken is weak they are more likely to sicken and die. Also it was so nasty today the coop had to be kept closed. When they have to stay shut in they are more likely to fight or get injured by the crowded conditions. It is looking like the MIGHT get turned out tomorrow but the rest of the week will be total shut in the coop time. I am so scared I will lose more of my babies. The last shut in I lost a beautiful hen. It looked like she just fell asleep and did not wake up.

I hate this. Where is spring with it's fresh grass and all the tasty bugs for my boys and girls to chase?

 

I guess I should be happy that I can still feel this much love for each and every critter I own. I have been doing this pet thing for my whole life so I have lost way too many. I know a lot of people that are just callous about it. When my husband lost the first dog he had ever considered HIS he was torn up about it so much. His jerk of a brother actually said to me "what's wrong with him? It's just a dog."

I hatch most of these chickens. There are a few that mama hen's have hatched and some that I have bought from hatcheries but a good deal of them are ones I have run through the incubator and carefully turned several times a day for three weeks. The ones I hatch and the hatchery chicks are all kept in my living room in brooders until they are old enough to go to the baby room of the coop. Even the ones the mama's hatch get a lot of hands on treatment from me. They are little lives that are dependent on my care. Every single loss feels like a personal failure.

I guess I have to hold on to some of my happy stories. I have a little hen that has made it back to full healthy status after having a nasty cold that was wearing her down so much she was not eating. I got her healthy and back running around bossing the other hens in the coop.

I also collected a stray rooster. LOL This big, beautiful rooster just appeared in my yard. I checked with all my neighbors and he did not belong to anyone. He has moved in and after a lot of work to get him accepted by the other chickens he has settle in quite well and has even romanced one of my "I HATE ALL ROOSTERS" hens. They were all cuddly when I went into the coop tonight.

I guess I don't suck too much at this chicken raising stuff if the chicken world knows to come to my house when they are looking for a new home. LOL

Thanks for the nice words. I am sorry about your fish. Hopefully neither of us have to deal with anymore losses anytime soon.