Do Gay Guys Feel Girls Treat Them Differently?

Re: Do Gay Girls Feel Girls Treat Them Differently?

I think straight girls treat gay guys like their pets or play things but their really quick to insult a lesbian .

I'll give a few examples When my friend just met (straight woman ) she was pretty ok around me I could tell her she looked cute in outfits , she would hug me and let me compliment her . When I told her I liked girls everything changed no more hugging and when I told her she looked nice in an outfit she would say "Enough! " that was her words I was shocked . I'm not attracted to my friend any way I just like her as a friend .
Another example I was with my mom in New york we met two guys that were gay my mom asked if they were that's how I know for sure and yes they were stereotypical gay they chatted for a while and my mom was so friendly and then she said
" I like them gay men are so cool and friendly " another time my mom saw two women holding hands " God that's disgusting , they look so stupid holding hands , be careful out there these women are scary they lick each others things to have sex and I've heard they also use a fake penis too " I was thinking how come she's ok with the gay guys but think lesbians are disgusting and make fun of how they have sex .
I wasn't sure that I was lesbian at that time but I was starting to accept that I like women and then she had to say that . :dry: double standard is what I call it

 

Re: Do Gay Girls Feel Girls Treat Them Differently?

I only have one very good female friend (the rest are males) and she's always the chirpy outspoken kind. When I came out to her, she just acted the same, but did say we should go shopping. I told her I would but that she shouldn't expect me to give her advice and spend all day shopping, because I'm not a fan of marathon shopping sprees . She doesn't see me as her gay best friend, she has another gay friend who's that for her, and, to be honest, he's more like you Rakkaus, very fashion-forward. It may be how we present ourselves that people will treat us. We do get judged by our "cover" and our "cover" includes our clothes. That said, I do dress in a way some consider "gay;" though, a while ago, Rakkaus, you called it "preppy" (I just call it "traditional" ).

I've never been treated like a "gay best friend when I go get my hair cut. I go in, I sign my name in the logbook and wait for the haircutter lady (what is their title?). I go to a chain called MasterCuts, not exactly the haute couture of the salons, so maybe that's why. It could also be that I act very matter-of-factly and don't really engage in conversation. When it's time to find a new person to cut my hair, I judge them on both how well they can translate my directions ("just trim a bit with scissors all around, round the back and don't cut it too short;" yes, I suck at telling them how I want my hair :bang: ) and how how little they want to engage in conversation. I'm OK with them yapping about their lives and customers, but don't ask me stuff about my life.

So, basically, I don't think girls treat me differently because I'm gay but, then again, I don't have a large sample of female friends/acquaintances.

 

Re: Do Gay Girls Feel Girls Treat Them Differently?

I'd say that some girls in general do tend to treat me differently once they realize I'm gay, but it's not obligatorily negative in my eyes. Sometimes people are surprised to hear I'm gay and then they get really buddy-buddy with me, which is quite a bit different from standard friendliness towards me... which isn't something I mind necessarily.

And then there are people who don't treat me differently 'cause of my sexual orientation, which is dandy as well.

 

Re: Do Gay Girls Feel Girls Treat Them Differently?

A few girls at my school always try to get me to tell them what guys I like (I'll never tell them), and some say that we can be shopping buddies and stuff like that. I don't mind any of it, though. A lot of people don't treat me any differently, which is great.

 

Re: Do Gay Girls Feel Girls Treat Them Differently?

a huge chunk of my male friends are gay or bi. I am not technically "straight" though

 

Re: Do Gay Girls Feel Girls Treat Them Differently?

To the girls I've come out too, I noticed they quickly got friendlier with me afterwards. Now I don't know if that's because I'm leaning gay or because I shared something personal with them, but either way it helped our friendships

One thing I HATE though is some girl friends I haven't come out to yet will be going on about how disgusting lesbians are, only to turn around and say they wish they had a gay guy best friend so they could go shopping and try clothes on and stuff. It's hypocritical and demeaning.

 

Re: Do Gay Girls Feel Girls Treat Them Differently?

I think girls or woman just feel more comfortable and open with a gay guy. Most str8t girls and woman have their sense of "gaydar". They know when a guy is gay and I can't explain it. All I know is woman love to be open around me let me hug them and I think they feel safe with a gay guy and relate to him in many ways. I think the woman at the salon picked up that your gay and really liked you. I bet it's a combination they think your totally cute, which you are. And also sweet so felt comfortable being open with you. Consider it a gift and something to enjoy.

 

Re: Do Gay Girls Feel Girls Treat Them Differently?

Sounds really uncomfortable! I think it's the novelty of it.

 

Re: Do Gay Girls Feel Girls Treat Them Differently?

I think they generally feel more comfortable around gay men because there is no "threat" of feelings or need for sexuality. They can just be themselves. Around men, a woman may feel pressured to either look good, or be clear that she isnt interested, whereas around a gay guy...its like "OHHHHH friend!!!"

 

Did you at all feel patronized by these girls?

 

I think they feel more comfortable because they know your not going to try anything with them and its probably why some girls are uncomfortable with lesbians because they think lesbians will be checking them out like a straight man would. i think another reason women like gay men is because a gay man can talk and give advice about men from the male point of view and women feel that they can talk about relationships, issues, ect and get a male perspective on things that they wouldn't be comfortable talking to a straight man about

 

I notice this with girls around me too... I kinda like the attention tbh. : 3
I feel like the type of friendship girls have with each other is a lot richer than guys have with each other and I just love to be considered "just one of the girls". I missed out on this when I just had guy friends.

 

Well, I'm male and queer and feminine (although only one of these things is obvious in public) and I would think I would feel at least a bit offended at being so patronized. I've posted here before about the patronizing attitude my ex-wife and stepdaughter have toward gay men, seeming to respect them as little more than pets, or perhaps members of the Lollipop Guild. I wasn't out to them, but I felt embarrassed for their "targets" on their behalf. (To my credit, I did try to squelch this kind of immature behavior from them a few times in a casual manner, saying it was no big deal if someone was gay.)

 

That is an excellent way to describe the sensation. I wear the jeans and a t-shirt as described when not in work apparel because I'm not that into clothes, but the age and single combination sometimes leads to verbal trespasses, which are patronizing, at least to me.

---------- Post added 6th Feb 2014 at 09:44 PM ----------

Mine has been pared down because of dynamics like the ones described above.

 

I do notice that once women find out I'm gay, they seem more open and chummy with me than they were before. I'm pretty sure it has to do with the fact they know I don't want anything from them other than friendship so it puts them more at ease than they may be around a straight man who may have ulterior motives.

I've only had one woman try to treat me like her little gay pet, but she stopped when I told her I found it demeaning and that I was a person first and a homosexual second. We get along very well still, but there was a time when she would do things like introduce me to people as "her gay friend Frozen Fae" instead of just a normal introduction, or ask me to go shoe shopping with her and other stereotypical things along those lines.

 

I just find that some women are much more open with me than other men in our college

 

I said I did not mind it either... : 3