My partner and I have both recently come into some creepy situations regarding straight men in our lives. We don't know how to handle it...one is really scaring us.:help: My partner at work had a guy ask her was her t-shirt her boyfriends, and she told him no, that I didn't like these kind of shirts and that I was a woman. He said "ohhh" and now proceeds to ask her everyday about me and what we do for fun. She is getting annoyed...and wants to tell him to leave her alone, but doesnt know how without being rude. My situation is different. I'm a naturally friendly person. During the polar storm that swept the midwest early last month, my car got stuck. I went up to my neighbor and asked her to borrow a shovel. She told me yes, but instead her husband came out and got my car out. I was really grateful and told him if he needed anything, just ask. Well I spoke to him and her off an on the past few weeks. Just walking in out our townhouse. "Hi", "how are you", etc. I told him I work with computers. He mentioned a computer issue...I said sure I'd look. Yesterday I was driving to the back of our TH, to the front, to the back again trying to park, cuz the plower left a mess in front of our garage and front of our place. The husband came over and offered to park my car. I said no, twice, he insisted, so I said fine. He parked the car...then asked strange questions. He told me I was beautiful. I told him thank you and that I was gay and had a partner. He said his wife told him we were prob lesbians, but he wasnt sure. Then he asked if I was bi and had slept with men, I said, no but that it wasn't his business. :eek: he then made a couple of comments about the size of his manhood, how he was divorcing his wife. He got really creepy and started saying how he'd love to hang out with me and my partner, asking what lesbian clubs we go to (I said none). He said we should go out, I brushed it off with "ok maybe sometime, I have to go" My partner came home and I told her what happened and said stay away from the creepy neighbor. She thought I was exaggerating.... Later that evening he knocked on our door to see if we wanted to borrow some movies or stuff....WTH? It was sooo creepy. Miri literally stood near the kitchen knives. I told him no thanks. Then he reminded me I told him last month, I'd look at his computer tower to see if I could fix it. I said I don't know if its something I could fix. (I could but...don't want him to know that) Anyway...long story short...really creepy. I dunno what to do...this guy knows where we live. Why is he being a creep?? I dunno what to do about the computer thing except avoid him. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH SOME MEN!!!!!!!!!!!
I know right I get creepy guys too but not like this probably because I don't have a partner yet . I don't know why lesbians translates into a guys head 3somes I don't know and this is what I mean by we're not taken seriously because we run into creeps like this . I would say stay away from him and if he comes by tell him your not interested if he continues I say start being rude . These men don't get the message at all and saying how big his manhood was some straight men think just because they have a penis that they can get any woman gay straight or bi . don't they get the meaning of being a lesbian we don't want anything to do with their penis ? One way to get rid of annoying men that my mom has taught me is make them embarrass them in public if they act creepy . I hope this helps . I'm sorry you have to deal with this crap this is why I have a love hate relationship with straight men because men like this make the rest look bad
Gawd, men are weird! Don't they realize that their fantasy of sleeping with lesbians is a paradox? That's not even the point! Persistence gets creepy!
Okay, that is creepy. How old is this guy? Have you tried telling him that you don't appreciate the kind of talk he was doing before and that it's making things really uncomfortable for you? Maybe you should also alert his wife of his behavior if he continues and get her to talk to him. As for your partner, she can also tell the guy how she doesn't appreciate him being in your business. That guy from your situation though...wow that is disturbing.
That's terrible. Saying you're taken (doesn't matter that you're lesbian) SHOULD have stopped that. I do know why. Porn. I've seen a few "lesbian" porn videos, and universally, the girls are getting it on, and a guy comes along and they invite him in for a threesome. Unfortunately, lots of guys think that's what lesbians really are interested in.
He's in his 20s I guess. I don't know. I'm scared that if I tell his wife, or something he will get angry and like...harass us or something. I dunno.
If he doesn't stop after you alert of him of it being uncomfortable, then his wife deserves to know so that she can discuss it with him. If he is pathetic enough to get stirred up over that and try to harass either of you, that's when you could get some real action taken honestly.
There foolish for believing such things , I 'll always remember a straight guy telling me porn is fake you can't believe the stuff in there we're not all jerks lol and funny how they don't take their own advice . I think it's them thinking the world revolves around their man hood I mean their taught that from young but that doesn't mean you have to be creepy show women some respect we don't belong to you , I had a guy pull my arm once really hard because I didn't take his compliment seriously and he got mad at me because I wasn't all blushing when he told me I was pretty . :dry: You should tell his wife if he keeps it up he can't act that way anymore she'll be keep a close eye on him when she finds out .
That's horrible!! I would be really intimidated if someone like that lived near me and knew where I lived. I'm not out but I work with a really creepy older guy who gets FAR too close and he's always asking me inappropriate questions and stuff. It sucks that you have to go through this. Just attempt to avoid him at all costs i would say.
So your partner's coworker sounds like a busybody. She can just tell him "I'd rather not discuss my personal life" or "I/We need to focus on x,y,z project/task". If your partner works in a professional setting, he should have/is expected to have no problem with that. Your neighbor...honestly it sounds like he's having some sort of crisis and is dragging y'all(and you especially) into his shit. It's great to be friends with your neighbors, but getting involved in their marital affairs is not a requirement. His wife probably already knows that shit is hitting the fan ,as it's their shit. I would just withdraw contact from him and basically use conversation "enders' such as "Gotta go. Late for x, y, z." Basically use closed body language and distant affectations to relay that you just don't care about his problems. I know that sounds harsh, but sometimes it's best to be less than subtle with us males.
Guys are like that sometimes. He needs a good punch in the face honestly. Or get cops involved as for your partner she could go to management, it could be considered sexual harassment. (or to Human Resources or something)
Hmm, people sure do work with a lot of creepy older men. Go to your HR department or his superior. HR is probably preferable as most respectable companies(in the USA at least) will keep your anonymity. Even if it seems like the HR Rep doesn't care about your personally, you can bet on the fact that the care about the company's money. You can also bet on the fact they do not want to pay for sexual harassment lawsuits, so they're in general much happier to take disciplinary action than undergo the litigious alternative. These McCreepers in the workplace sometimes don't realize that their calendars are wrong. It's not 1964 and sexual harassment is a terminable offense.
I have one McCreeper in my workplace...whenever he starts opening his mouth, i shut him down immediately and say "back to this..." I have no problem standing up to people at work, because I know my employer likes me and has a son that is genderqueer. At home, I am scared because I don't know if this guy is violent or nutso or whatever. Not to mention, I don't know if our city is queer friendly. I know there is no protection ordinance or anything. So what happens if he does harass us and I go to the police. There is no guarantee they will even care.
I the opposite i'm scared to stand up to the guy at work because well my job doesn't care for me much . outside of work I would tell them to leave me alone but no one knows where I live and your right when people know where you live it's a different story .
I'd see if there is resources such as an LGBT center in your city. Organizations like that can help gay people liaison with law enforcement. If not and you truly feel threatened there is a more extreme solution. Get a restraining order taken against him. Usually, though that requires some hard evidence I believe. However, with a legally binding document such as that, even the more bigoted cops will be held to action.
I don't know that I'd take the PPO route. The exact requirements vary slightly from county to county, and sure, some judges will hand them out like candy, but technically for a non domestic PPO, you need two or more specific incidents of threatening/harassing behaviour. And you'll be swearing to them under oath. Really, they are just designed for extreme situations, not just someone being generally creepy.
Um ok. So that neighbor seems very creepy. He clearly doesn't get the picture. I think you will probably have to be really abrupt and possibly rude until he gets the picture. A lot of people on average tend to be very polite and put things lightly; but I think because he didn't take the polite way you need to not totally censor your words...like if he starts talking about some imaginary threesome just say how disgusting that sounds to you. Basically, just make your point really clear that this thing he wants to happen is just never going to happen. You can also add in that you'll file for a restraining order if he keeps being so invasive.
Yeah I don't really get along with anyone in work, plus its an acknowledged fact that the guy I work with is a creeper, so even if he did take it too far I think I would be told to get over it. It must be terrifying living near such a creep! Maybe try to record in detail every time he acts inappropriately, so if you do have to report him you have multiple instances to reference? Don't know if that would help at all but it might
