Police officer shares story of being intersex

[beckyg]

Atlanta police officer shares story of being intersex
Going public part of 'healing process,' LGBT liaison says
By DYANA BAGBY, Southern Voice | Jul 4, 2:06 PM

In front of approximately 20 people at the Midtown nightclub Halo
Thursday night, the Atlanta Police Department’s LGBT liaison, Officer
Darlene Harris, shared for the very first time in a public forum the
journey to discovering being intersex.



“What actually happened is the young lady I’m seeing said, ‘You know,
it’s not normal for you to not have a regular cycle,’” said Harris,
35, who formerly identified as a lesbian but now identifies as intersex.



But Harris had never had a menstrual consistent period and didn’t
think there was anything wrong. Besides, Harris said, “You know a
woman who wants to have it every month?” bringing several chuckles
from the queer men and women listening.



Harris’ girlfriend, without telling Harris, made an appointment with
a gynecologist early this year. Harris dutifully kept the appointment
and when the gynecologist learned Harris had never had a regular
menstrual cycle, she decided to run several tests to determine, among
other things, Harris’ levels of estrogen and testosterone.



When Harris returned to the doctor’s office to find out the lab
results, the doctor expressed concern because most of the test
results came back abnormal.



“The doctor pulled everything up on the computer, and I see lots of
red lettering. I didn’t know what it meant, but she said that each of
these tests came back in red and for her that’s a problem,” Harris said.



The tests revealed Harris’ testosterone levels were much higher than
the range for the average male. At first, the doctor worried Harris
may have tumors. She began months of medical testing with an
endocrinologist that eventually concluded with a chromosome test.
That test revealed Harris had the XY chromosome — the male chromosome.



Harris does have ovaries and plans to have a hysterectomy — what she
termed a “full cleansing” — to stave off potential future health
concerns, rather than take hormones.



Being intersex, Harris explained, is when “your body is in direct
contradiction to what your insides say. You may have a female body,
but inside you are male, or you may have a male body, but inside you
are female.”



For Harris, who has identified as female her entire life, finding out
she is a male genetically felt like a burden lifted after growing up
feeling so different than everyone else, even sometimes within the
queer community.



“When I came out as a lesbian, the women I dated would say
something’s not right. I’d say I’m fine, you’re just small,” Harris
said, referring to having an enlarged clitoris. “Of course, I said
that to feel comfortable with myself.”



She said right now she is not concerned with what pronouns people use
to identify her — “he” or “she” is fine. But while she has the option
to legally change her birth certificate to male, Harris said she is
not going to take that route because she has lived her life so long
legally and socially as female.



“I decided not to ‘change over.’ I’m going to be who I am,” Harris
said. “I have prayed and I need to be comfortable in my skin. Some
may think it’s better to change over. At this point, after two kids,
I don’t want to go through the situation explaining. I choose to stay
this way.”



As a child, Harris said her mom used to tell her she was “supposed to
be a boy” because that’s what an amniocentesis test revealed. And
while her father called his other daughters “pretty,” he always said
Harris was his “handsome daughter.”



“And that used to bug me. I didn’t understand,” she said.



Harris shared childhood memories of being potty-trained and always
standing up to use the restroom. Her mother begged her to sit on the
toilet, telling her that life would be hard if she went into a female
restroom and was seen by someone else standing to urinate.



In the sixth grade, that did happen. The incident so embarrassed
Harris that Harris finally learned to use the restroom sitting down.



Then there was the attraction to other girls.



“I knew I was always attracted to females growing up. It was natural
to me. Mentally, when I dated women, I thought in male terms,” Harris
said.



Since Harris was in junior high school, she has been able to grow a
full beard and moustache and shaves every day. She said she also
grows excessive hair on her chest and stomach —signs that someone
might be intersex. Her enlarged clitoris, or micro-penis, was also a
sign. But never knowing what being intersex was or having anyone to
talk with about what she was going through caused Harris to keep her
confusion stuffed inside.



“The reason I’m here is this is a healing process for me. It’s
important to share my story,” Harris said.



“Growing up, not knowing what was going on, was hard. There was
something not right. Now I know all the things I felt growing up
weren’t me just bugging out,” Harris said. “If I can help just one
person, this is worth it.”

[Psychedelic Bookmarks]

Thanks for sharing Becky! It must be so hard to go through that and know nothing about it.

I found myself really confused reading that because I wasn't sure what sex he/she was at the beginning. I mean what sex he/she thought he/she was.

Arghh confusing =/

The human body is so amazing.

[beckyg]

I wonder if the right wing, Adam and Eve, folks ever considered intersex people. They are denying rights to these people too. I wonder if they think they choose how they were born?

[ccdd]

Thanks for sharing this Becky, it's really interesting and quite informative too. It's interesting how happy she is to have a fluid gender identity - ie doesn't mind if she's called he or she.

Interestingly, I learnt quite a lot about intersex conditions and intersexuality at school, believe it or not. As well as discussions, when I was about 17, we had a period of about a month of lessons where we watched documentaries that some intersex individuals had made especially for schools - the interviews included people who were obviously intersex at birth, and whose parents had "chosen" a gender for them (usually arbitrarily and depending upon which one, after surgery, would most easily "pass"), also others who only discovered their status later on, such as at puberty, when normal sexual development failed to occur. This sparked lots of discussion, both about the biology, but also an awful lot on the social and personal aspects - I remember everyone being really sensitive and understanding on the issue, and no one being abusive/joking in the classes at all. (If only the school had been so good at teaching homosexuality!! But then that was the age of section 28 and it never got mentioned once...but at least my school didn't lump intersex people and homosexuality together as the same taboo subject so at least we got some education!).

But one of the main things that these people kept discussing was how much abuse they got from people - like being called perverts and paedophiles - when others found out through accidental disclosures, or because they appeared gender-ambiguous (eg with breasts and facial hair). They all pointed out how the whole of our society is predicated on there being "male and female". That was the first time I was ever made to question that assumption, and I haven't seen the world like that since. The fact that it changed my assumptions - and that I know for a fact that it changed some of those who were also in those classes - again brings me back to the issue of education.

But I do wonder what the right wing Adam and Eve people think about intersex individuals too.