Don't you hate it when straight people say this ?

Nah I've never heard that, but it's just ignorance. People just love to make their stupidity known to the whole world via the internet. :lol:

 

I've never even heard of straight people saying she wouldn't be a virgin in lesbian terms, usually they say she still is either way since she hasn't been with a guy.

So many straight people are ignorant when it comes to lesbian issues.

 

I was told I was a virgin by one of my sisters because I hadn't had sex with a man. I ignored her.

 

It seems to me like straight men saying that a girl is not a virgin as a lesbian but is a virgin as a straight girl, plays into their sexual fantasies. Some straight me of course find lesbianism erotic and maybe fantasize about "curing" or converting a lesbian in addition to taking a girls virginity. So long as she is sufficiently feminine of course. It's a very condescending attitude.

 

a lot of people, when asking a girl if they are a virgin, mean 'have you had penetrative sex with a guy?' which disregards girls having sex. i think ignorance makes people think that 'sex' is only girl and guy which isn't true

 

A lot of guys think of sex as one thing - vaginal penetration via penis. Oral, fingering, anal, masturbation is all "fake". Therefore lesbians are virgins because they've never had a man's almighty member bestowed upon them. Males have weird dick complexes. It's like their pride (or shame) and to think that a woman wouldn't want it! Impossible.
Also there is that flawed belief that losing your virginity means tearing the hymen and bleeding. It really can (and should) be stretched out, not torn.

 

I know, right? Not everything in the world revolves around the cock. You can have lots of enjoyable sex WITHOUT it. Silly men.

 

I almost brought that up. I never understood why penetrative sex was considered better than everything else considering there aren't as many nerves in the vagina. You usually need clitoral stimulation to get off. Of course I understand that It's different strokes for different folks and some people get more pleasure from vaginal stimulation vs clitoral, but to make that a universal thing is just asinine.

 

This made me formulate a question: at what point is virginity lost? With is the line that separate virgins and non virgins?


I suppose virginity is lost past either blowjob/handjob or anything that ends in job

What is your opininon on this...maybe virginity is relative?

 

I always viewed a "virgin" being a sexually pure or sexually naive person. That would mean that in order to be a real virgin you have to be free from any genital contact with another person. No vaginal/anal penetration, no oral sex, no handjobs- none of it.

Of course there's nothing wrong with giving a blowjob/handjob, but doing so puts you in the same exact category as people who have penetrative sex. You're both sexually active and an inexperienced person is in a different league than both situations. At least that's how I view it.

 

I would list a blowjob and a handjob as a loss of virginity between straight couples, because It's still sex. And yes, I do consider lesbians that have had blowjobs/handjobs with men but have never slept with women to be non-virgins. I would be careful with that identity because I've dated a girl who called herself a virgin when she did blowjobs/handjobs with guys and has never slept with women, and I broke up with her for that very reason. To this day I view her as a liar and I never forgave her for it. I had an easier time forgiving the girls who actually cheated on me in a relationship than I did forgiving this girl who called herself a virgin after giving a blowjob to a guy. It's still a lie because you can pass STD's.

Also not all straight people even like penetrative sex. When I identified as straight, I hated the idea of it and was only okay with non-penetrative sex with guys. And I wouldn't consider myself a virgin for doing so either. Rather oppressive really.

 

Who even cares about virginity? It's a stupid concept created by religion and society to make people who have had sex feel bad about themselves. It only exists because we make it exist. You're the same person after you've had sex (or performed any sexual act) as you were before you did it. Your first time only has meaning if you give it meaning. Really, sex is only meaningful if it's 1.) consensual 2.) enjoyable and 3.) With someone you really care about. Just had to get that out there Stocking.