People getting married,Having kids at a young age - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

ok455 · 10th Jul 2008, 12:45 AM

Is it me or is people doing stuff just quickly now these days?

Getting Engaged,Married,having kids at the age of 18 or younger. Im looking at old high school friends on myspace and all i see is married,Engaged, and they have kids. And they are only 19 or 20 i just think its way too young. Most of them don't have a good job or no education and they are living in their parents house. Its like they aren't waiting for a couple of years its within the first week of dating

This boy i went to school with he has four kids and hes only 19 years old. I feel sorry for him
Even a old friend we had sex together is having a baby with this woman he met online.

I guess I'm old fashion i want to have my life together before i put a ring on any male finger.

Also i had a nightmare last night that i was a father of a baby. My whole family was over and i had this little baby in my hands and people was talking about how cute my son is. It was creepy

Poring · 10th Jul 2008, 01:25 AM

You know, somehow I agree with that.

Though where I live (country), thats not really done, but in other countries I'm sure it is. For me, I would want to fix my life first before I get into the whole family scene. I mean, I won't mind getting married at a young age (ok maybe not that young...), but having kids is a whole different story.

**Gerry** · 10th Jul 2008, 02:02 AM

Of course in today's society things are changing and the younger generation seems be wanting to grow up a lot faster than planned or expected. I have a friend who just turned 19 with a 3 year old daughter. I went to high school with her and thought back then that it was weird someone in high school and younger than me had a baby. Now it's more accepted and I'm used to it. But yes, times certainly have changed. I think we have society to thank for this.

Tim · 10th Jul 2008, 02:07 AM

I actually can't agree with it, because I have friends who would be hurt if I did, and personally, what people do is up to them. One of my friends had a baby when she was a sophomore. (10th grade in US, she was 15.) Another of my friends is married now, and she's 18. After taking Child Development (trust me, being gay in that class = sooo awkward, thank god no one knew <_< Only time I ever had to lie about my orientation is when someone asked me <_<), I really know what she went through, so I admire her for it. People do what they want to do, I don't mean to sound rude, but who are you to judge? That's like saying gay people shouldn't get married. <_<

Henrike · 10th Jul 2008, 02:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Myzou

That's like saying gay people shouldn't get married. <_<

Careful about saying that.

He's simply concerned about people getting in a situation that they may not be ready for. I can't help but agree with that concern.

10th Jul 2008, 03:49 AM

I think that it's up to the people involved, some people are naturally ready to settle down and pop out sprogs earlier than others...

maybe i'm just biased, i don't know...

Blitzkrieg · 10th Jul 2008, 04:37 AM

Some people are just ready to settle down early. A nineteen year old friend of mine married a twenty five year old girl he had only known for 6 months, she already had three children of her own from a previous marriage and now they're pregnant with a baby girl on the way. They make a a cute couple and are very happy together even with the age difference. It's weird to me that he's already a father and only a year older than me, but as long as he's happy that's what's important.
I know I'm not ready to become a parent any time soon, as for love, if it comes along I'll welcome it.

In end the decisions we make truly define what we want out of life.

pirateninja · 10th Jul 2008, 06:26 AM

Some people may not be ready for it, and I would advise anyone who is thinking aboot settling down while still pretty young to give it some serious consideration. But if it's what they want, and it will make them happy, then as far as I am concerned they can breed as much as they like. It's not my place to say "You can't do that, you're too young". I'll tell them "Give it a serious think aboot whether this is what you really want" and if it is, I wholefartedly urge them to do what they wanna do.

As for me, I'm more than happy to keep my life sprog-free

shakerdancee · 10th Jul 2008, 02:30 PM

I'm not sure it's that new...

beckyg · 10th Jul 2008, 02:36 PM

Four kids at age 19? Wow!

Studies have shown that your marriage is much more likely to last if you wait to get married until you are older.

10th Jul 2008, 04:02 PM

Hmm I don't really mind it. I'm not into judging people for anything. So if I met someone who was a mother or father at age 18 I'd be like oh that's cool. Maybe it's because me personally I always wanted a kid. Marriage isn't really my thing but kids are. That's why to me people being married and having kids young isn't a big deal to me. If that's what they want, good for them.

Wander · 10th Jul 2008, 05:26 PM

I don't really care when people are having kids, what bothers me is how many they're having. Two kids, one to replace each of the parents, no more. If some teenage girl goes and gets herself pregnant, I find it mildly entertaining.

Fiorino · 10th Jul 2008, 05:33 PM

Hmm, well I'm not judging or anything, but honestly I think getting Married
young (as in, before graduation of university/college) is kind of irresponsible.
Marriage isn't that big of a deal though, it's having a baby that would really
get in the way of things (school, work, etc...). There was this girl in my
class last year who dropped out to get married at 16. It's kind of sad
that she threw her life away like that, because, here at least,
if you don't have a diploma it's hard to find work. I really wish
her the best though, and hope she beats the odds (since marriages tend to
fall apart more the younger you are). In the end, people should do what
makes them happy, and who knows, maybe they found their soul mate,
just at a young age.

For the baby's sake though, it's probably better to have it when you're more
mature and ready for it (as in financially, ready to settle down, etc...).

Oh-and I wanted to add something. Here, it seems like people are getting married and settling down older and older. Maybe it's just that I'm more prone to notice it, but I see
a lot of 40sths with toddlers strolling around.

Trumpetplyer23 · 11th Jul 2008, 07:16 AM

There was a girl in my eighth grade class (she was 13 or 14, I'm not sure, we weren't close) and she got pregnant and had the baby. I thought it was weird, and kind of early, but hey, if she wanted to do that with her life, then great. If not, she made a mistake.

It's not my place to tell people when they can and cannot get married. It's not my decision, it's not my life that could be permantely affected.

Marriage is not my thing either. The entire 'no sex before marriage', what does that mean when you get married it's a free pass into someone else's pants? What if that's the only reason those 2 people want to get married, so they can have sex without destroying their ideology.

Sorry....I got beat over the head with 'no sex before marriage' shit last year in health class..

Malchik89 · 11th Jul 2008, 07:26 AM

I actually think its really sad if people get married and have kids at such a young age. Because like while some people build a carreer before they build a family, thats so that they can support their kids and give them the best life possible. Idk in my opinion if you get married at such a young age...well theres your life.

And i really dont think people just out of highschool should be having children, sure they may be ready maternally or paternally or w/e, but financially, they are mostly never ready. I mean with the cost of children nowadays, its been proven that through our childhood from birth to college, we cost like over a million dollars. Cuz i have a friend and she had her baby like right after she graduated early in January, and ive met him several times and he is uber cute and sweet, im just concerned at what kind of life he's gonna have to live now with his not working teen mom and 21 year old dad who's career lies in a shoestore

Étoile · 11th Jul 2008, 08:05 AM

I don't think it's particularly wrong to have kids at a young age, I just think that people should wait a few years out of high school to get some stable foundation before starting up a family. My sister got pregnant 2 months after graduating high school and had her baby the following year. While I do love my adorable 2-year-old niece, my sister had to put college on hold for her and I just think she'll be missing out on a great opportunity because of something that could have been better planned out.

I know a guy who's 21 and has 7 kids and 1 on the way, but he's not doing too much for his future. LOL There was also this girl in my 6th grade class who had a miscarriage than ended up having another baby by the time we were in 8th grade. Eventually, she stopped coming to school to raise the baby.

Beebo · 11th Jul 2008, 08:26 AM

A friend of mine and just got his girlfriend pregnant (he is 16)... They will be getting married in a month or so. My cousin got pregnant, she is 17, she was not forced to marry though.

I mean... Having a kid at that age is sad, yes, but what really grinds my gears is when they are pressured to get married/and to quit school and get a job. What if the couple learns that they are exactly compatible? That could mean the child would most likely be growing up in a home

a) full of fighting
b) where the father always leaves,
c) the father figure has permanently left.
d) where the mother always leaves, or has permanently left.
e) the mother figure has permanently left.
f) that is very financially unsecure (this in itself causes so many problems)
g) all the stress leads to abuse
h) Some of, or all of the above.

NEXT-- wtf is everyone doing without their WWJD bracellets? What would 'Juno' do?

I think that the insight that the movie Juno offered was golden. Juno = a good example of how to handle a situation like this. She went through all the options she had, and was realistic. She didn't get too overwhelmed by the situation (like so many people do, [especially parents, which almost always freaks out the kid when what they really need is support] they become like a deer in the headlights, and they panic and the whole thing gets blown out of porportion [like they are carrying around a little living belly buddha fetus or something] and they don't know what to do.), instead, she saw it for what it was, another obstacle/choice on the road of life. All it took was to deal (abortion, adoption, the decision the raise the child yourself or with the help of your parents [whatever decision you make, think it over well]) with the obstacle (the obstacle being teenage pregnancy) and move on.

The movie Juno is a BEAUTIFUL movie (definatly the cheez-wizz to my macorony) and I hugely recommend it.

PLUS! SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE IS THE DEVIIIIILLLL!!!! bahahah, (this is sarcasm).

have sex when only after you know the possible reprocussions (stds, pregnancy, more sex [bahahahha]) and only after you have thought it over really hard (don't make it with just anyone at the local drunken Bar Mitzvah [I'm not saying jewish people drink, I just needed a scenario]).

Now! Go off and PROOOOCREATE! Oh wait, your all gay!

Kimi · 12th Jul 2008, 12:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ok455

This boy i went to school with he has four kids and hes only 19 years old. I feel sorry for him
Even a old friend we had sex together is having a baby with this woman he met online.

LOL, anyways.

Well, 19 yo and 4 kids is kinda showing how stupid he is but as long as he is treating them well I don't have a problem with that.

I generally don't have a problem with people getting married or having kids at young age. I mean, my father got married when he was...23? And had me when he was 24. I have to say he had me when he was young but he also had everything. He had a nice job and build a house and nice car and now he is paying my college and apartment. So just because people are young and got kids doesn't mean they have no good job or no educational back ground.

I think it would be nice to have a young dad. I like the fact that my father is going to be 44 yo when I get to 20 yo, rather than me 20 yo and he 60 yo

UnderARock · 12th Jul 2008, 04:25 AM

I have pretty much fallen out of contact with every1 I use to know. I have heard that quite I few ppl I went to school with are now married. As for children I'm not too sure. There was one that got pregnant while in school. She left school and I don't know wat happened to her. Personally I have no comment as too weather I think it is right or wrong.
I will say that it makes me personally feel awkward about myself in less than i fortnight I'll be 20 and I can't picture myself have the type of relationship that ppl starting have at 13, yet alone marriage. I tend to not pay much attention to the gay marriage issue because of that. SORRY.

10th Jul 2008, 12:45 AM	#1
ok455 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Location: Can't tell L!O!L Age: 24 Posts: 437 Join Date: May 2005	People getting married,Having kids at a young age Is it me or is people doing stuff just quickly now these days? Getting Engaged,Married,having kids at the age of 18 or younger. Im looking at old high school friends on myspace and all i see is married,Engaged, and they have kids. And they are only 19 or 20 i just think its way too young. Most of them don't have a good job or no education and they are living in their parents house. Its like they aren't waiting for a couple of years its within the first week of dating This boy i went to school with he has four kids and hes only 19 years old. I feel sorry for him Even a old friend we had sex together is having a baby with this woman he met online. I guess I'm old fashion i want to have my life together before i put a ring on any male finger. Also i had a nightmare last night that i was a father of a baby. My whole family was over and i had this little baby in my hands and people was talking about how cute my son is. It was creepy __________________ http://209.50.252.116/smile.gif Last edited by ok455; 10th Jul 2008 at 12:54 AM..

10th Jul 2008, 01:25 AM	#2
Poring EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Not out at all Location: Somewhere in Asia :o Age: 19 Posts: 399 Join Date: May 2008	Re: People getting married,Having kids at a young age You know, somehow I agree with that. Though where I live (country), thats not really done, but in other countries I'm sure it is. For me, I would want to fix my life first before I get into the whole family scene. I mean, I won't mind getting married at a young age (ok maybe not that young...), but having kids is a whole different story. __________________ rawr :3

10th Jul 2008, 02:02 AM	#3
Gerry We're all a little mad! EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Location: Las Vegas Age: 24 Posts: 5,540 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: People getting married,Having kids at a young age Of course in today's society things are changing and the younger generation seems be wanting to grow up a lot faster than planned or expected. I have a friend who just turned 19 with a 3 year old daughter. I went to high school with her and thought back then that it was weird someone in high school and younger than me had a baby. Now it's more accepted and I'm used to it. But yes, times certainly have changed. I think we have society to thank for this. __________________ "Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality".-James Baldwin

10th Jul 2008, 02:07 AM	#4
Tim Psycho Glitter Btch Full Member Gender:* Guy, Unless Life Was a Horrible April Fools Joke. Orientation: Gay/Asexual/Confusing to Explain Out Status: Armed and Fabulous! XD Location: California Age: 23 Posts: 7,379 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: People getting married,Having kids at a young age I actually can't agree with it, because I have friends who would be hurt if I did, and personally, what people do is up to them. One of my friends had a baby when she was a sophomore. (10th grade in US, she was 15.) Another of my friends is married now, and she's 18. After taking Child Development (trust me, being gay in that class = sooo awkward, thank god no one knew <_< Only time I ever had to lie about my orientation is when someone asked me <_<), I really know what she went through, so I admire her for it. People do what they want to do, I don't mean to sound rude, but who are you to judge? That's like saying gay people shouldn't get married. <_< __________________ Rawr! :3 ~The Stalker User Known As Tim~ Rawr! :3 EC's Sailor Star Healer, Oxymoron and All. Star Sensitive Inferno! Sailor Starlight, Stage On! [Vic] 7:49 pm: I keep my pants off in public.

10th Jul 2008, 03:49 AM	#6
nodoubtjunkie Guest Posts: n/a	Re: People getting married,Having kids at a young age I think that it's up to the people involved, some people are naturally ready to settle down and pop out sprogs earlier than others... maybe i'm just biased, i don't know...

10th Jul 2008, 04:37 AM	#7
Blitzkrieg I'm gone from here for now. Full Member Gender: Male Age: 22 Posts: 559 Join Date: Aug 2007	Re: People getting married,Having kids at a young age Some people are just ready to settle down early. A nineteen year old friend of mine married a twenty five year old girl he had only known for 6 months, she already had three children of her own from a previous marriage and now they're pregnant with a baby girl on the way. They make a a cute couple and are very happy together even with the age difference. It's weird to me that he's already a father and only a year older than me, but as long as he's happy that's what's important. I know I'm not ready to become a parent any time soon, as for love, if it comes along I'll welcome it. In end the decisions we make truly define what we want out of life.

10th Jul 2008, 06:26 AM	#8
pirateninja EC's Sailor Uranus Full Member Gender: Biologically Female Orientation: Heterosexually Challenged Out Status: Most people Location: Bath, England Age: 21 Posts: 5,853 Join Date: Sep 2007	Re: People getting married,Having kids at a young age Some people may not be ready for it, and I would advise anyone who is thinking aboot settling down while still pretty young to give it some serious consideration. But if it's what they want, and it will make them happy, then as far as I am concerned they can breed as much as they like. It's not my place to say "You can't do that, you're too young". I'll tell them "Give it a serious think aboot whether this is what you really want" and if it is, I wholefartedly urge them to do what they wanna do. As for me, I'm more than happy to keep my life sprog-free __________________ Holly the Pirateninja Ars Longa, Vita Brevis.

10th Jul 2008, 02:30 PM	#9
shakerdancee Oom-pah! Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Not sure Out Status: Anyone who asks Location: California Age: 19 Posts: 304 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: People getting married,Having kids at a young age I'm not sure it's that new...

10th Jul 2008, 02:36 PM	#10
beckyg PFLAG Mom Community Liaison Gender: Female Orientation: Straight Out Status: Out to everyone/Yes, parents come out too! Location: Middle of Oregon Age: 50 Posts: 7,572 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: People getting married,Having kids at a young age Four kids at age 19? Wow! Studies have shown that your marriage is much more likely to last if you wait to get married until you are older. __________________ "When we're free to love anyone we choose, When this worlds big enough for all different views, When we're all free to worship from our own kind of pew, Then we shall be free" ~ Garth Brooks

10th Jul 2008, 04:02 PM	#11
Midnight Angel Guest Posts: n/a	Re: People getting married,Having kids at a young age Hmm I don't really mind it. I'm not into judging people for anything. So if I met someone who was a mother or father at age 18 I'd be like oh that's cool. Maybe it's because me personally I always wanted a kid. Marriage isn't really my thing but kids are. That's why to me people being married and having kids young isn't a big deal to me. If that's what they want, good for them.

10th Jul 2008, 05:26 PM	#12
Wander Banned Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Parents, aunts, grandma, counselor, online friends Location: Central Alabama Age: 18 Posts: 2,360 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: People getting married,Having kids at a young age I don't really care when people are having kids, what bothers me is how many they're having. Two kids, one to replace each of the parents, no more. If some teenage girl goes and gets herself pregnant, I find it mildly entertaining.

10th Jul 2008, 05:33 PM	#13
Fiorino Fio Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Most people Location: Buenos Aires, Argentina Posts: 1,005 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: People getting married,Having kids at a young age Hmm, well I'm not judging or anything, but honestly I think getting Married young (as in, before graduation of university/college) is kind of irresponsible. Marriage isn't that big of a deal though, it's having a baby that would really get in the way of things (school, work, etc...). There was this girl in my class last year who dropped out to get married at 16. It's kind of sad that she threw her life away like that, because, here at least, if you don't have a diploma it's hard to find work. I really wish her the best though, and hope she beats the odds (since marriages tend to fall apart more the younger you are). In the end, people should do what makes them happy, and who knows, maybe they found their soul mate, just at a young age. For the baby's sake though, it's probably better to have it when you're more mature and ready for it (as in financially, ready to settle down, etc...). Oh-and I wanted to add something. Here, it seems like people are getting married and settling down older and older. Maybe it's just that I'm more prone to notice it, but I see a lot of 40sths with toddlers strolling around. __________________ Why is it that as a culture, we're more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands? Last edited by Fiorino; 10th Jul 2008 at 05:38 PM..

11th Jul 2008, 07:26 AM	#15
Malchik89 True as Blue Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: whomever cares enough to know Location: Illinois Age: 22 Posts: 647 Join Date: Jun 2008	Re: People getting married,Having kids at a young age I actually think its really sad if people get married and have kids at such a young age. Because like while some people build a carreer before they build a family, thats so that they can support their kids and give them the best life possible. Idk in my opinion if you get married at such a young age...well theres your life. And i really dont think people just out of highschool should be having children, sure they may be ready maternally or paternally or w/e, but financially, they are mostly never ready. I mean with the cost of children nowadays, its been proven that through our childhood from birth to college, we cost like over a million dollars. Cuz i have a friend and she had her baby like right after she graduated early in January, and ive met him several times and he is uber cute and sweet, im just concerned at what kind of life he's gonna have to live now with his not working teen mom and 21 year old dad who's career lies in a shoestore __________________ *"Haven't you heard? I'm the crazy bitch around here." (Blair Waldorf ~ Gossip Girl)* I am human and i need to be loved...just like everybody else does

11th Jul 2008, 08:05 AM	#16
Étoile He ate my heart Full Member Gender: Garçon Orientation: 95% Gay, 5% Cheesecake Out Status: Out to everyone Location: The Peach State Age: 20 Posts: 1,575 Join Date: Nov 2007	Re: People getting married,Having kids at a young age I don't think it's particularly wrong to have kids at a young age, I just think that people should wait a few years out of high school to get some stable foundation before starting up a family. My sister got pregnant 2 months after graduating high school and had her baby the following year. While I do love my adorable 2-year-old niece, my sister had to put college on hold for her and I just think she'll be missing out on a great opportunity because of something that could have been better planned out. I know a guy who's 21 and has 7 kids and 1 on the way, but he's not doing too much for his future. LOL There was also this girl in my 6th grade class who had a miscarriage than ended up having another baby by the time we were in 8th grade. Eventually, she stopped coming to school to raise the baby.

11th Jul 2008, 08:26 AM	#17
Beebo the cat what has facial hair. Full Member Gender: MAN Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Toronto Age: 23 Posts: 893 Join Date: Feb 2008	Re: People getting married,Having kids at a young age A friend of mine and just got his girlfriend pregnant (he is 16)... They will be getting married in a month or so. My cousin got pregnant, she is 17, she was not forced to marry though. I mean... Having a kid at that age is sad, yes, but what really grinds my gears is when they are pressured to get married/and to quit school and get a job. What if the couple learns that they are exactly compatible? That could mean the child would most likely be growing up in a home a) full of fighting b) where the father always leaves, c) the father figure has permanently left. d) where the mother always leaves, or has permanently left. e) the mother figure has permanently left. f) that is very financially unsecure (this in itself causes so many problems) g) all the stress leads to abuse h) Some of, or all of the above. NEXT-- wtf is everyone doing without their WWJD bracellets? What would 'Juno' do? I think that the insight that the movie Juno offered was golden. Juno = a good example of how to handle a situation like this. She went through all the options she had, and was realistic. She didn't get too overwhelmed by the situation (like so many people do, [especially parents, which almost always freaks out the kid when what they really need is support] they become like a deer in the headlights, and they panic and the whole thing gets blown out of porportion [like they are carrying around a little living belly buddha fetus or something] and they don't know what to do.), instead, she saw it for what it was, another obstacle/choice on the road of life. All it took was to deal (abortion, adoption, the decision the raise the child yourself or with the help of your parents [whatever decision you make, think it over well]) with the obstacle (the obstacle being teenage pregnancy) and move on. The movie Juno is a BEAUTIFUL movie (definatly the cheez-wizz to my macorony) and I hugely recommend it. PLUS! SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE IS THE DEVIIIIILLLL!!!! bahahah, (this is sarcasm). have sex when only after you know the possible reprocussions (stds, pregnancy, more sex [bahahahha]) and only after you have thought it over really hard (don't make it with just anyone at the local drunken Bar Mitzvah [I'm not saying jewish people drink, I just needed a scenario]). Now! Go off and PROOOOCREATE! Oh wait, your all gay! __________________ New Song up. a rough version of "The Ghost of Adam".(I will be adding more.)

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12th Jul 2008, 04:25 AM	#19
UnderARock EC Addict Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay (I think) Out Status: Some people Location: Gold Coast, Australia Age: 23 Posts: 299 Join Date: Jun 2007	Re: People getting married,Having kids at a young age I have pretty much fallen out of contact with every1 I use to know. I have heard that quite I few ppl I went to school with are now married. As for children I'm not too sure. There was one that got pregnant while in school. She left school and I don't know wat happened to her. Personally I have no comment as too weather I think it is right or wrong. I will say that it makes me personally feel awkward about myself in less than i fortnight I'll be 20 and I can't picture myself have the type of relationship that ppl starting have at 13, yet alone marriage. I tend to not pay much attention to the gay marriage issue because of that. SORRY.