Gays vs. Lesbians

[Imagicnation]

How true is the culture of the guys and the girls of the GLBT community not liking each other that much (until it comes to important things like Gay Parades)?

I ask as I feel like an outsider looking in; I have NO contact with any gay/lesbian community groups and my best friend is the only Lesbian I know in my city.

[johnny11]

...I don't really know how true this is...I have A LOT more lesbian friends then I do gay friends

[davo-man]

I like lesbians...apart from one that I know in real life...She is so DAMN mopey! I'm like, cheer up, but it never gets through to her...Well, it's not just that, but other things, like inviting herself to a movie date that was specially between me and my best friend. Also, she got pissed at me for me not staying in touch with her after school finished, but it's a two way street. She didn't msg me either.....(Rant over )

I like lesbians

[Malchik89]

Yeah i think the whole like disgruntlement that you see between gays and lesbians is just something that you like see on tv and in the movies, because hey it makes interesting tv lol But yeah in real life its not so much you dont get along with somebody merely because they are gay or lesbian, its all depends on their individual personality.

p8u8' <------- that is what my phone thinks!! umm I like certain lesbians

[Lexington]

I've never noticed any real bad feelings between gay men and lesbians in a general way. They can be friction here and there, though. I know lesbians who can get annoyed that gay men seem to get the lion's share of attention whenever anything "gay" comes to the forefront - it can make them feel rather like a footnote. We're similar in construct - we both like the same sex - but we don't have much in common. The stereotypical things that gay men like are not what gay women like, and vice versa. So I'm sure a gay woman probably isn't crazy about, say, seeing "Don't Stop the Music" on Logo. Not that they hate it, but it doesn't really speak to them at all. This sort of things seems to be where what little friction seems to come from.

Lex

[heatqueen]

Um, I'm friends with PEOPLE. Not stereotypes.

[Sapphist]

where I live gays and lesbians hang together. Our whole LGBT community just seems to naturally be one.idk why,theres not alot of tensions between us where I come from.

[Psychedelic Bookmarks]

There probably can be friction for political reasons, or just because of individuals' personalities, but for myself, I like gay men. They're cute. I want to hug them Basically, I'll just judge someone on what they're like, same as if they were straight.

[joeyconnick]

I think the divisions between the two communities or sets of communities were much more noticeable/distinct in the 1970s. My impression is that there was this period of early bliss where everyone was just like "we're all gay let's work together" but then gay guys, being guys, were probably just as sexist as men in general of that period, and gay women/lesbians were just as invested in feminism and trying to overcome that sexism, and since in a very (very) overly simplistic way queer men and queer women "have no use for each" other, you began to see conflicts and divisions.

Of course since then I think the majority of people, especially those in activist circles which I think is probably where the most division took place, have realised that just because lesbians aren't attracted to men (generally) and gay men aren't attracted to women (generally), that doesn't mean we can't appreciate each other as human beings. If you read up about the early HIV/AIDS era (aka the 1980s, which I highly encourage everyone to do, there are some amazing stories from that time), a lot of the time lesbians were the ones taking care of sick gay friends.

And I think as viewpoints became more sophisticated, we realised we really do have a lot of things in common, because homophobia operates in very similar ways whether you're a girl or a guy, because it's based on the same thing: oppression, maintaining a scapegoat other, reinforcing heteronormativity by punishing any "deviance," etc. I'm not saying the homophobia faced by guys is exactly the same as that faced by women but it definitely has the same root. Of course, guys always have it that much easier because we aren't facing sexism on top of homophobia, but happily some guys have realised that sexism has pretty much the same root as homophobia.

So I would like to think that the early somewhat strident divisions between the gay and lesbian "camps" have died off pretty much. I mean, personally, I like women a lot better than men in general (I know, I'm gay, so that's kinda weird) so really the only difference to me is that lesbians don't share my love of men like straight women do, and to be totally silly and superfluous, that makes for WAAAAAY less competition, so really lesbians should be a gay guy's best friend!

Yeah but seriously, I think women are great, gay or straight, and it really pisses me off when gay guys are misogynistic. Well okay, it pisses me off when ANY guy is sexist, but especially when gay guys are. Because honestly, I expect better.

[joeyconnick]

Originally Posted by Psychedelic Bookmarks

There probably can be friction for political reasons, or just because of individuals' personalities, but for myself, I like gay men. They're cute. I want to hug them Basically, I'll just judge someone on what they're like, same as if they were straight.

We are very cute, it's true.

Originally Posted by heatqueen

Um, I'm friends with PEOPLE. Not stereotypes.

I agree with you!

[Sam]

I think that they do that on tv and movies for entertainment. I don't really know how true it is in real life but have a few friends who are gay guys and I love them to death. It's about the person not anything else.

[Psychedelic Bookmarks]

Wow, joeyconnick, excellent answer, that's really interesting. Thanks for posting it.

Originally Posted by joeyconnick

We are very cute, it's true.

It's true. I mean, look at that little bw headshot, how could anybody not think that was cute? All the gay guys' little photos make me smile when I see them, you're all like guys, except... more fun.

[jazzrawr]

Of course not, I love gay guys!
I like people for who they are. Straight or gay, guys make great friends.
(Gay guys are just usually more fun. XD)
So, i agree with Joeyconnick's post.

[joeyconnick]

Originally Posted by Psychedelic Bookmarks

Wow, joeyconnick, excellent answer, that's really interesting. Thanks for posting it.

You're welcome... I've done a lot of reading about the early modern gay rights movement.

Originally Posted by Psychedelic Bookmarks

It's true. I mean, look at that little bw headshot, how could anybody not think that was cute? All the gay guys' little photos make me smile when I see them, you're all like guys, except... more fun.

Urgh... ah... you know that's not actually me, right? I'm cute but I'm not Gregory Smith cute. If only!

[Beebo]

Excerp from Beebo's Big Gay Journal.

I remember this one time, all my gay friends and I were strutting our stuff around town in our leather vests and pants, and our huge aviator sunglasses, and all of a sudden, there across the street, we saw Bertha, the leader of the local lebian girls club. Well, we knew what we had to do. So Billy ran across the street and yelled to her.

"HEY YOU, This is our territory, go back to your lady loving girly club!" Then he ripped open his shirt, bearing his sweaty, hairy, manly chest that gleemed against the sun. Thank you spray-on tan. Yesss.

She almost fell over in sheer disgust, which meant we were winning.

Then, with her mullet flailing in the wind, and her womanly parts draped underneath her flanel dinner jacket, she regained her composure and yelled back.

"You lily livered boner boys need to get over yourselves because I'm moving on through." And to our amazement, thats just what she did. She cracked all her fingers, and uttered a burly laugh. "Harr Harr Harr."

Let me tell you, that's when it started getting ugly.

The Boys and I all crossed the street at this point. I spanked Billy in his hard buttocks to acknowledge his good deed to the gay boys community, however, this tussle had just begun.

Sheppard, my boy-toy baby, ran up to face her - she was no more than 20 feet away by now - and we all cheered.

"Get her Sheppy," said Matty, blowing him a kiss.

"Show her the secret weapon," said Mario.

I just watched hopefully, and whispered under my breath: "You got this boy, you got it. grrr."

Sheppard got to her, and began to turn around to reveal his secret weapon, the moon cheek moustache. Boy-oh-boy he was good at it.

But then the unexpected happened. Bertha, with her big muscly woman arms, pulled out a hockey stick from her oversized flanel jacket, and broke it over Sheppards back!

"want some of this? Huh Huh!" Her voice was so thick and deep.

Anyways

Thats when we all screamed and ran off. We went to retrieve Sheppard later on, but jeeesssuuss, I mean, overeaction much?

But we would meet again on the streets of this regular town! I swear it, those brainwashing baby birthing machines will FEAR US! We have been rehearsing our own version of the musical Grease, let's see them beat that!

[Psychedelic Bookmarks]

Well, Beebo... we can see your town has a way to come with gay unity...

I love lesbians!!! That stereotype may be true in some situations, but overall it's just a bunch of junk.

[Wander]

I have a bi friendwhoisagirl, two lesbian friends, and a lesbian aunt. I only have one late uncle who might have been gay, but no gay friends.

Ha.