So last night I was at my best friend's party and I had this discussion with a straight guy friend about sexuality. He has always been fully accepting and all, or rather, he doesn't care at all. He brought up that there are scientists who say that if you THINK you're attracted to men, or women, or anyone, your brain will send out hormones accordingly, thus empowering (I guess) the attraction. He said that according to the theory, there are many gay folks whose sexuality could be changed in this way, and he thinks it might be true. The odd thing is that he does not think this is the case for everyone. We came to this discussion because he said he still doesn't believe I'm a 100% gay, but bi. He thinks it's impossible for me not to like girls anymore, because I used to. I explained to him that that was mental attraction, not physical - I was basically not familiar with physical attraction until I realized that what I felt for men sometimes... was exactly that. So I said to him, if your theory is true, then I would've been straight without a problem. But wait - I've tried to for years. And I know many gay people have. On the other hand though - during the years I genuinely thought I was attracted to women, I actually was attracted to them: my heart would go crazy and I could sometimes not think of anything else. Since I realized I'm not that into girls, and started "thinking" I was gay - that attraction, however odd, vanished completely. So in that sense I suppose there is a bit of truth in the theory. Though I'm sure that if I decide to drop the labels, or start to try and be straight again, I will not feel the same attraction I used to feel for girls. Let alone the attraction I feel for guys now. Any thoughts on this?
I've always thought "Conditioning" your thought process on attraction can "Change" how your feel about the opposite sex. But That's just forcing yourself. But hey "Practice makes perfect" right?? :lol:
Your friend might have fudged the science a little bit, but overall I'd say he's right about labels (probably not about you). Adopting labels causes people to ignore aspects of themselves that don't fit those labels. So when a man identifies as straight, even if he has a lot of potential for attraction to guys, he'll tend to systematically ignore that. And if he is primarily attracted to women, but does have a slight potential to be attracted to men, the "straight" label might stop him from ever recognizing that slight lingering attraction. That said, there are a few problems with your friend arguing that you are bisexual. (1.) Lots of gay people talk themselves into thinking that they are attracted to the opposite sex. Thinking you're attracted to women =/= being attracted to women. (2.) Even if you were slightly attracted to women once, sexuality is fluid for some people, so that wouldn't necessarily mean anything about your orientation now. (3.) It's quite possible to be gay and still experience some attraction to the opposite sex. You don't have to be a perfect Kinsey 6-with-no-exceptions-ever-in-your-life to be gay - a Kinsey 5.9, or even 4.9, will be close enough for all intents and purposes for many people.
