I always get angry when my mum makes a comment that I find ignorant or baseless comment about Gay People, but there are times when she is simply explaining something and I jump the gun. What should I do to rectify this?
Listen, and understand that you're not winning an argument with your mum without a fight. Remember that your mum isn't saying things BECAUSE she wants to be offensive. She's expressing the thoughts in her head. This means that every time you point out that she has said something ignorant or baseless or offensive, she has been told her thoughts are wrong, and nobody likes to hear that. To quote my mum "Why do you always go out of your way to point out my faults?" That doesn't mean you have to stop doing it, just accept that there will be an argument afterwards.
Besides that, she could just be explaining something, and I might just cut her off before she finishes because in my head I could be saying " I'd better cut her off before she hurts my feelings.
Then back to my original point, listen! I mean if you look at it from outside the argument, if she hasn't actually said anything to you that hurts and you cut her off and start back with whatever retort you've got, you've both failed in discussion AND caused an argument. At least if she hurts your feelings you have a reason to come back at her.
This makes sense. I also think its worth spending some time every day thinking about what she's saying from her point of view. And even when you get irritated with her, try not to raise your voice. I know it's hard but try. It makes it easier to be reasonable, for both sides, even if you do have a disagreement.
I'd get upset mainly if someone repeatedly brings up the same topic,.. My x brought up how much money she made... Another brought up her history of drug abuse... It's irritating... So I get it completely! Maybe listen and then change the subject and bring up a topic u love?!! ---------- Post added 2nd Mar 2014 at 07:07 AM ---------- What about a parent support groups? I reckon she wouldn't want to go... But if she doesn't, could get support here and there? I use the main social network... FB... U could also just tell her that u don't want to hear it ?
I look back at this message I've written and I think... I guess we r all doing our best. My issue within my mind now is this... It hurts... Heartbreak, healing, hands I once depended on to not be there to hold me when I cry,
