~ question

Hey there! I'm not sure as to both counts, but I do know we have Muslim members and people from the Near East. You're not alone. Much love!

 

I am not Muslim, a Cisgendered-girl, or from the middle-east, but I have great respect for those three things and if you wish to talk to any one, I am willing to listen.

 

What brought you to this Forum Freedom?


I joined, because where I live I don't know very many non-straight people and I am pretty far in the closet.

 

Woah... Your love got married? Why? O_O

 

I am a gender-fluid person, which means in my case at least that i feel like a woman some days, a man some days, and some where inbetween some days. but my body is male much to my disdain.

i am single, been single for too long, kinda lonely you know.

Why did she get married?

 

I'm not Muslim or from Pakistan but have friends in the US who are--don't know how much help I can be, but wanted you to know that I care. I've heard that laws in Pakistan are very hard on gays and lesbians, so I assume she got married to appear straight in an anti-gay culture. I'm just guessing, because I don't know the whole story.

Does she love her husband at all? Does she love both of you? Or do you think she just got married because of family pressure or fear or being a lesbian? Seven years is a long time. I can't imagine how difficult this is. Do you plan to move on and find someone else or wait for her to get out of the marriage? Do you think she could or would get out of the marriage for you, if you told her she couldn't see you otherwise?

Whatever you decide to do, keep posting. There are some wonderful people on this forum. I'm so sorry you're in this situation. Not being with the person you truly love is one of the worst feelings on Earth.

---------- Post added 5th Mar 2014 at 06:53 AM ----------

Oh, you just answered my questions!

 

Seems like three options:

1. Agree to see her even though she betrayed you by getting married when you didn't. Continue the relationship in secret.

2. Make a plan to somehow get her out of the marriage and run away together.

3. Find someone else. If you live in a big city, that would be easier. Or online of course.

None of these options sound good, I know. This is so tough.

 

If she refuses to even think about getting a divorce, you are right to stop talking to her. I guess the question is: why won't she get a divorce? After so long together, you are her family. If she's genuinely afraid, that's understandable. But it sounds like she just wants to keep up appearances at the expense of your heart. Maybe the only thing you can do is tell her you are going to find someone else.

 

I know you love her, but what she's doing is selfish and unfair to you. It would be best to tell her she can only choose one person.

 

I think the best would be to move on. Meet new people, and find someone else to love. She clearly doesn't care about anyone's feelings but her own, and I don't think she will leave her husband to be with you. I know it hurts but things will get better. You owe it to yourself to move on from this. You deserve someone who will love you and only you (*hug*)