Biphobia

So annoying!! But I would just have ignored her. It's not worth it..

 

what could you say? She probably would have used it as ammo to strengthen her pathetic argument

ignore, delete from memory and move on

 

I would have probably defended bisexuals. After all, if she had insulted gay people, would you have said something? Probably. Even though I'm not bisexual myself, I can't stand ignorance and stereotyping. It just shouldn't happen, and I will take every opportunity I get to educate people about misunderstood sexualities.

 

The worst thing about biphobia is that it comes from within the LGBT community (specifically the L and G parts) as well as from outside.

Just ignore her as much as you can. Trying to fix all the bad people at your school would emotionally kill you and reduce your ability to get good grades.

 

I don't 100% agree with that quote. I am most decidely not neutral on the topic of LGBT equality but that doesn't mean I need to respond to every single anti-gay, anti-progress nutjob out there. I love discourse but with someone like who OP describes, she probably isn't likely changing her mind and will be martyred in her tiny mind and feel she is being attacked.

So yes I am very much for equality, but again I don't have to battle every single idiot that I meet. I like to try and take my battle to higher stages. Yeah sometimes Iw ill try and correct people, but someone like her is not worth my time...that doesn't mean I am on the side of the oppressor just because I ignored this one person

 

I probably would have challenged that person. I would have just said "what do you mean by that?" and gotten the person to explain themselves, then maybe provided some perspective, explaining that mentalities like 'bisexuals are greedy' are really detrimental to to the bisexual community.

It's all about your comfort level though. If you weren't comfortable speaking up, it's okay not to. You could even revisit the conversation later if you wanted to. Just say "Hey, I've been thinking about what you said about bisexuals...." and speak your mind. Just remember to be open and respectful.

 

My crush is bi, so of course I would have defended them.
The word biphobia is no different than homophobia or transphobia. They all describe unnessesery opisition to an entire group of people you know nothing about.

---------- Post added 5th Mar 2014 at 12:26 PM ----------

Pardon my spelling. I'm on a tablet and it's nearly immpossible to type in this thing.

 

"Excuse me, but how can you justify that? Bisexuals are no more likely to be promiscuous that monosexuals, and don't necessarily date more people than the average. What's wrong with being attracted to both men and women?"

All that is required for evil to prevail, and all that.

 

I certainly would have appreciated if you had said something. That kind of talk is every bit as offensive as anti-gay crap. You could have told her simply that her hate speech was not appropriate or made your uncomfortable (assuming this is how you felt) and that you'd appreciate if she'd stop.

---------- Post added 5th Mar 2014 at 04:20 PM ----------

You're certainly not expected to get into debates in an attempt to defend us!

 

I would just say "What, you pissed off no one wants you?" My youngest is Bi and anyone who opens their mouths with this bullshit will get unloaded on.

 

She think's that they're greedy? She probably had a BF leave her for a bisexual female.

 

My dad is biphobic. He told me people are either gay, lesbian, or straight. So it's no wonder I don't tell him I'm pansexual.

Just ignore her. She's being an uneducated twat, people like that can't be helped.

 

This is the opposite stance of Tutu's philosophy. You can't fight all the battles everywhere, not to mention it's most likely that nothing you could have said would change her mind.

If you were feeling up for an argument, though, it might have been interesting to say "it just means they don't rule out either sex" instead of unfairly being slapped with the "greedy" accusation.

 

There are two things you could have told her:

First of all, there are studies that show that bisexual women at least (don't know of a similar report on bi men) actually have happier marriages or long term relationships, cheat less often, and have better communication with their partners. I'd have to track down the study but it is out there. I believe it, too! Bisexuals are...ambidextrous...they are born with the capacity for sexual attraction to both sexes. This is often a curse more than a blessing. They aren't greedy, but they are complicated--only because society makes life complicated for them. The pressure to identify as gay or straight makes life complicated, simply because both identities are false. So yeah, it makes sense that they might actually make for really good partners in the long run--because they're accustomed to having to explain themselves!

Second, rates of depression and suicidal behavior among bisexuals in higher than in gay and lesbian populations. Why? Because of girls like the one in your class today.

Just some random notes from experience...

When I came out, a straight friend said to me: "All bisexuals are crazy. My sister said she was bisexual and she ended up in the mental hospital."

Then, an older gay man at a pride rally said: "You'll make a great straight ally someday." (as I was holding a bi pride flag)

Every partner I've had has insisted I no longer identify as bisexual. If I'm with a girl, she insists I be a lesbian. If I'm with a guy, he insists I be straight. I married the first person who celebrated my bisexuality. Guess what? He's a guy. So now my gay friends think I'm a traitor and turn their backs on me. Welcome to the lovely world of the sexually ambidextrous!

Just a few reasons why we might be more depressed than the average bear.

Seriously, L&G people have GOT to start actively, vocally defending us. I don't care if you had a bad experience with a bisexual--that's a personal problem. But politically and socially, you have to start thinking about the kids. There are bi kids who kill themselves because they come out thinking they'll be supported by the gay community and they AREN'T. And these kids get kicked out of their houses too, they get beat up too, they have to walk down the street with same-sex partners in fear too. It's no wonder so many bisexual people end up hiding in heterosexual relationships, when the support structure is so flimsy.

Sorry, I'm done ranting. It has gotten better over the years I guess.

 

I sometimes feel this is a lost cause. People, including those in the GLBT community, have definite opinions about bisexuals and these opinions sometimes seem to be cast in stone. To that end, how much energy and effort should be expended to change some people's minds? There is no correct answer. If people want to be biphobic, they're going to be biphobic. If people are going to be affirming or even accepting though a shrug of indifference, then that's how they'll deal with the topic. Where's that icon for banging one's head against the wall when you need it?

---------- Post added 9th Mar 2014 at 11:59 PM ----------

What is English Tuition? I've only seen that term used as the cost of an education to be paid to a private school or university.

 

Tightrope, unfortunately you're probably right.

It just seems so unfair that as a young bisexual (even before I was out) I was calling other kids out on saying homophobic things in class and arguing with relatives about their views on gay marriage. I just felt like I had to engage in that fight. Maybe the fight against biphobia is different. I guess when I was fighting homophobia, I had a stake in that fight because I thought I was probably a lesbian. I didn't even know the term "biphobia" until a few months ago...now I have a name for those things that were said to me by gay and straight people alike. I don't know. I think it's important.

With anything--racism, sexism, homophobia--it's important to find a way to explain why someone is wrong, in a level-headed and clear way, so that their ignorance doesn't turn to hatred and their hatred doesn't turn to violence. That's just my opinion anyway. I mean I guess you can take the offensive rather than the defensive. Maybe that's a more positive way to deal with it. Like if there are any gay folks out there who still love bisexuals, tell us so! Tell the world so! And if there are any bisexuals who are proud instead of ashamed, they should be telling people so as well. You know? If we're made invisible, it's easy to pick on us.

 

I don't like the term "greedy" associated with anyone bisexual.
A person has no control over what they're attracted to.

Myself, I'm attracted to both but as I couldn't be 100% sure I'd be loyal to any one sex, I decided to have none.

As for the girl in your class, she has her opinion. It may not be what you or I agree with, but that's life I'm afraid.

 

I would have said something, i know that for sure. But i also know it would not have made a difference to her opinion, most people only dig their heels in when confronted on an emotional issue.

She sounds pretty emotional about it, perhaps what she is really hating is her own attraction to women.