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Aspergers

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by drwinchester, Mar 9, 2014.

  1. drwinchester

    drwinchester Guest

    For years my mom's been saying that I have Asperger's Syndrome. I've got a brother who was diagnosed (and is high functioning), she's self-diagnosed herself, and a few other relatives exhibit notable autistic traits.

    For years she's said it, but I've never been formally diagnosed. Honestly, I highly doubt I actually have it. Sure, I'm socially anxious but it's not that I can't socialize- I just get anxious about how I'll be perceived/etc. I don't have sensory issues or problems with empathy.

    The maybe one thing that seems 'aspergers' to me is that, through high school, I was obsessed with novel writing and whatever writing projects I was working on at the time. I'd constantly draw the same characters, work on world building, research, etc. (and if it helps, most of the characters I would identify with were all gay/bisexual males) Oddly enough, this actually went away as soon as I got to college and figured out my gender- I no longer obsess about any one thing.

    So, I mean, I suppose it's possible that I could have aspergers. I wouldn't call it impossible but I've never been diagnosed and I can't relate to many of the listed symptoms I've seen posted around.

    For anyone with Aspergers, what's it like to actually have it?
     
  2. Hexagon

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    I was in a similar position. My mother insisted I had it. I don't. Basically, it doesn't matter. Either you have it or you don't. It won't change the person you are, and getting a diagnosis only tells you what you can't do, which reinforces the idea that you can't. So don't stress about it, and go on to do great things with your life.
     
  3. Techno Kid

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    #3 Techno Kid, Mar 9, 2014
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2014
  4. drwinchester

    drwinchester Guest

    Yeah, I figure if I really am Aspergers then you better believe that diagnosis is gonna come from a psychologist who knows their shit and not my mother who's read a few books.

    I mean, sure. I'm awkward. But honestly, that's one of the few things I can relate to on that list Techno posted. And being awkward, I think, is why my mom thinks I'm Aspergers.
     
  5. AwesomGaytheist

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    When I was first tested at age 15, I had a textbook case. I was retested at 17 and they said that if it weren't for the previous diagnosis, you couldn't tell.
     
  6. Sitri

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    How could anybody describe what it feels like? I have it. But it's not something you can get rid of. It can only be controlled. It's liking asking what it's like to have a nose. You never have not had a nose. Sometimes you don't notice it but it's always there.
     
  7. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    I actually have aspergers, and it can be difficult to deal with in your everyday life but I don't think It's the worst thing you can be stuck with.

    I don't think just having social anxiety equates to aspergers either. Some people with aspergers can go up and talk to almost anyone, but the difference is the socialization is harder and more awkward. Like they would say awkward or inappropriate things to people without realizing that's not how a proper conversation works.

    I have horrible sensory issues. Sometimes I'm so sensitive I can get panicky just by being touched a certain way (It's also led me to dislike sexual contact, despite not being asexual) and I have to have my headphones on if I'm going in a crowd to be able to withstand noise.

    I have problems with empathy too. Of course It's not that we don't feel empathy, we do, but we can't express it. I lack cognitive empathy more so than emotional empathy, and can't read body language in any way shape or form.

    As for obsessions....I think everyone in society is obsessed with someone. It's normal. With AS though, It's more of an extreme thing. For example, if an AS kid was obsessed with a TV show, they would ONLY talk about that TV show to someone, and if you tried to change the subject they would probably try to change it back to their obsession. Even when you try to talk to them about other subjects they may try to tune you out while their mind goes back to their obsession.

    I'm getting better at talking about other things, but right now I guess my obsession is my own characters. It's very hard for me to talk about other subjects even now.

    Hope this helps
     
  8. AwesomGaytheist

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    For me I don't know what to say to people in certain situations, and I don't know how to sugarcoat things. That's why I'm so honest and so blunt. I've since learned to warn people that what I'm about to say is insensitive and that I don't know how to say it any other way, so if you're offended, I didn't mean it.
     
  9. Rainbow Girl

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  10. Sarcastic Luck

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    Mom tried to claim that I had it, too, and it was causing my, as she puts it, "feelings of duality". She sent me a link to a blog that listed all the symptoms that the person had encountered with female aspergers people. Then, she threw a shit fit when I pointed out that it listed transgenderism as one of the things. Suddenly, aspergers was off the table and I was a high functioning autistic.

    Talked to the therapist I was going to about it and she went "lolno".
     
  11. NotBrokenYet

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    I have NVLD, which is almost the same as aspergers but typically comes with less social impairment, but deficiencies with numbers and visual-spacial deficits (and a few other things.... but for all intents and purposes they're almost identical). For me, I don't really notice it. I didn't even know I had it until my dad started telling everyone I was autistic when I wasn't around and was corrected by my therapist (he still doesn't get me at all and blames EVERYTHING on my NVLD, even going as far as to assume that I literally have no feelings, which I had to correct him on). Since I've been diagnosed, I've noticed the effect it has on me more, I think, at least in terms of noticing my own social quirks and being more aware of the areas where I lack (especially noticing that I tend to take things far too literally and misinterpret things because of it). Mostly, I just notice it in terms of struggling eternally with math or any vaguely numerical concepts (even music theory...), and hitting my shoulders on door frames constantly (ow).... But since aspergers doesn't come with that sort of thing, that shouldn't be an issue, or at least not an issue linked to aspergers anyways. Its hard to say what its like to have NVLD because I've never been neurotypical, so that's kind of like asking me what its like to be me versus a gecko with wings. I have never been a gecko with wings, therefore I can't actually compare the two. If you're worried about it, consult a doctor! Get a proper diagnosis. My dad goes and spouts of diagnoses at people too (he's convinced my mom's autistic as well.... *eyeroll*) but that doesn't mean he's right. Professionals have final say.
     
  12. drwinchester

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    I had a counselor say the same thing. She knew how fucking awkward I was but when I brought up being aspergers, she was like 'really? you?'

    So it's interesting, reading everyone's responses. The more I read, the more I doubt it's something I actually have and yet I can relate to some things (like I hate being touched without permission and especially in areas that are 'female' or on my wrists). So, yeah.
     
  13. Rakkaus

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    I guess I'm in a similar situation as you, drwinchester, as my mother has since I was a child convinced herself that I have Aspergers, she bought all books that are still on her bookshelf about raising a child with Aspergers.

    I always denied having Aspergers, and still don't think I have it. Supposedly I was brought to a psychologist for one meeting around age 11 in which he diagnosed me as "borderline" Aspergers, my current psychologist basically dismissed that as a bullshit diagnosis.

    Then as now I believe my problem is severe social anxiety disorder, but since my mother had convinced herself and maybe even had convinced me a bit that I was an Aspie, it's been difficult trying to pin down exactly what my condition is and how to treat it.

    (The latest DSM eliminated Asperger syndrome as a distinct diagnosis and simply included it as a high-functioning form of the autism spectrum disorder, a decision I personally disagree with, but whatever, people, including mental health professionals, will still use Asperger to refer to the condition regardless of what the DSM-5 says.)

    But whatever, it doesn't really matter. I used to vehemently deny to my mother that I had Aspergers because I thought it would be ashamed of and indicate I have some mental handicap. But that was a wrongheaded way to look at it, you are who you are, whether you're an Aspie or not, it doesn't matter. If you happen to exhibit some traits or 'symptoms' of Asperger's, then you learn to live with them and deal with them, it doesn't matter what official diagnosis is applied to you. Being an Aspie doesn't mean you get put in an insane asylum, nor does it mean you need to take some pill in order to 'cure' your Aspergers.

    And I hate the stigma that is applied to people with Aspergers. For example, after the school shooting in Newtown, Connecticut by a 20-year-old man who supposedly had Aspergers, the media relentlessly tried to draw some sort of connection between the condition and violent tendencies, which is complete bullshit. The shooter probably had some mental illnesses that drove him to commit such a heinous act of violence, but Aspergers was most certainly not what led him to do it.

    So I don't know for sure whether I am or am not an Aspie, and as I said, it really has no impact on my life whether I am or am not.
     
  14. Sarcastic Luck

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    Well, there's plenty of people that don't like being touched without permission that don't have aspergers. It's more of a personal space thing. I think the awkwardness we both have more has to do with the homeschooling aspect. I didn't have much social interaction outside family, and from what I know about you, you had the same treatment.

    As a side note, lookin' good in your avatar.
     
  15. confuzzled82

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    A few years ago, I was seeing a psychologist for some other issues, and it came up that I likely have aspergers, though she didn't formally diagnose me with it, as I am generally functioning fine. I was diagnosed with ADD before the diagnosis of aspergers existed. I struggle with timing of many things and social interaction. I get stressed out if I am getting together with more than a few people, or have to get up in front of a group. And when I'm piping, I can't keep a beat to save my life.
     
  16. BelleFromHell

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    I have bipolar disorder, but my dad has convinced himself that I have Asperger's simply because I have some similar symptoms, and he doesn't want a "psycho" daughter. I can't say I know exactly how you feel since I'm not close to my dad at all. (he's almost a stranger to me)

    My advice is to not worry too much about it. If you want to get diagnosed, then go get diagnosed, but you don't have to if you don't want to. I've never been diagnosed as bipolar, it doesn't bother me as much as it used to and I don't want to take medication, so I don't see a reason why I should let the government put me on their shit list. I'm sure Asperger's doesn't have as bad of a stigma as bipolar disorder; people rarely assume a person with Asperger's is a violent psychopath before they get to know them, while it happens all the time with bipolar people. Of course, I'm not saying Asperger's is a cake walk either, I'm sure they have to deal with a lot of shit too.

    Whether or not you have Asperger's shouldn't effect how you view yourself. You are you, no matter what you're diagnosed with. (*hug*)
     
  17. Argentwing

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    That article sounds very familiar to me, but I don't think I'm bad enough to say I have it. As was stated, only professionals can tell, even over people with a slight familiarity with psychology XD.

    I sort of wish I did have a name for my behavior though, because instead of using it to explain weirdness, I'm just stuck with the weirdness. Oh well, at least there's room for me in my own mind lol.
     
  18. apostrophied

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    Ehhh, sounds like your mother has been consulting with Dr. Google a little bit too much.

    If your only problem is social awkwardness, you don't have Asperger's (or rather, autistic spectrum disorder, as per the DSM-V). A lot of people would have Asperger's if it were the case. Being interested in writing, drawing, world buildings, and research is not a sign of Asperger's, if only because that's four different interests right there. If you told us you were obsessed with car tires and only car tires, that would be another story.

    At any rate, in order to get a diagnosis, your symptoms would need to cause you clinically significant difficulties in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning. If they don't, you don't get the diagnosis.
     
  19. Strathclyder

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    I actually have Aspergers. I was diagnosed with it when I was younger. Not that I'm too bothered by it.
     
  20. kageshiro

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    Interesting. I honestly wonder if I have it myself. Awkwardness, obsessions, and some of the stuff mentioned in that block definitely sounds like me. I always attributed it to social anxiety. Very possible there's more to it than that I guess. While it would be nice to have a reason why I feel different from others, I think I'm ok without a diagnosis whether I have it or not.