Straight People on EC - Why?

[Miaplacidus]

This is targeted, as the title says, to our straight members, particularly our straight male members (I know there are some of you).

Could you please explain why you joined EC?

I find it weird that there are some straight people in here, as at least here in Uruguay, no straight person would join a gay forum under any circumstances, as that would automatically label him/her as gay/lesbian. Something similar happened to my friend Juan who's straight (and very much so) but is considered gay by everyone because he hangs out with me.

I'd like to use this space as well to apologize, as I know that I tend to strongly reject straight guys and have been really nasty to them in the past. This is the effect of some past experiences which deeply scarred me and I haven't fully overcome yet.

The replies to this thread will probably help me understand a little more the notion of "straight but gay-friendly". As I said before, in my country gay-friendly and male is basically equal to gay and straight and male implies homophobic (this is considerably different for females toward gay men but the same toward lesbians)

I'm sorry if I'm not being very clear. It's 4:15 am and I've studied a lot today (just ended a 5 hour session)

Thank you.

[SkyTears]

To start off - I'm not straight.

I have many straight guy friends and none of whom people think are gay at the very least. I would just have to say that it mostly has to do with the location of were you are and how accepted gays are there.

And I know some of the straight guys joined here to show their support to their gay friends. But then again I don't think it is best for me to speak for other people.

I think there is nothing wrong with straight people joining here. If they want to join EC to talk to people and learn things or help others, I dont see a problem.

There are straight people who dislikes gay people, but if gay people dislike straight people, it won't make things any better.

Instead of thinking that straight people joining here is weired, I think it would be better to think it as something positive.

http://www.emptyclosets.com/forum/sh...postcount=1114
Sad to see something like this..
Anyway, I guess that post could be an answer to your question. ?

[NathanHaleFan]

I also am not straight, so I can't answer as to why straight males would join EC (although I think it is great that they do).

But where I live, if you're a straight male and you don't accept gays and lesbians, then you are looked down upon. All of my straight male friends, and I have many, are perfectly normal with me, and keep a "straight" public image.

So, yes, I believe that it's totally a regional thing. It is not an inherent property of straight guys to hate gay guys.

[heatqueen]

Hmm let's see..

Becky and Louise are straight. They joined because their sons are gay and they're being supportive/learning about it/etc etc

redsapphire is straight. She joined because I asked her to.

[Beebo]

I think you'll find that every straight person that joined this site, joined because they had a friend or family member on the site. I'd assume that they join if they are open to the idea but are uneducated about it. Anyways I think education is the best way to eliminated hate and fear, so I am always so happy so see a straight person here.

[-Michael-]

Why be so negative about it...

You say that its some 'scarring' you havent gotten over...

...learn from their mistakes then and dont be predjudice and hate filled

[dictionary]

Comming out dosent just effect gay people... They often too need support.. i dont know something like that

[Nick]

Yay, first straight person to reply !! :P

It all started with skinny jeans. I was asking a friend on MSN what she thought about skinny jeans looked like on people (I specified guys and girls). She gave me her response and then, the obvious reply question: "What about you?". I hate lying to people and I said that I thought they looked good on people who can get away with them, regardless of gender.

After a brief pause: "...are you bi?"

I consider myself to be very open minded, no matter what it comes to (food, drink, people etc.) and I hate stereotypes (EACH PERSON IS DIFFERENT !!). We were talking about this for a while and she told me about Minus 18 (shameless plug not solicited by Micah and/or firecausesburns :P) which she knows about because she has a gay friend or two.

Anyway, me, being the inquisitive person that I am, read the info on the site, somehow found EC (most probably via Micah's profile or something, I can't remember now) and (after a little bit of lurking to just test out the surroundings) I decided to join.

I really don't mind what a person's sexuality is, if they are nice, it shouldn't matter !! Heck, when I was in Belgium, my host brother came out to his parents (when he was at home on the weekends, he slept in a room that was off my room). He told his parents, and then he told me. I pretty much went "Yeah? So?" not in a not-caring way but more in a "why-are-you-looking-at-me-as-though-I-should-be-treating-you-differently-just-because-I-now-know-that-you're-gay" way. He said that he figured it wouldn't bother me too much.

Also, I go to an all boy's school, so there are probably some closet homosexuals out there. There, I am a peer counsellor, so if someone has a confidential problem, but they don't want to talk to the school counsellor, they can just talk to one of their mates. While it may seem irrelevant, one of the things we discussed with the school counsellor was people "coming out" and how would we react if someone told us that they were gay. I'm on here to find out how other people deal with it, so if someone comes up to confide in me, I can offer them some helpful advice, not just turning them away and saying "sorry, I've got no idea".

Oh, and I really don't give a fuck what people think about me. I wear two watches and (allegedly, although not intentionally) have an "emo haircut" (which is just the way my hair goes naturally...) for crying out loud !!

Well, that's pretty much my story

[Owen]

Originally Posted by Miaplacidus

I find it weird that there are some straight people in here, as at least here in Uruguay, no straight person would join a gay forum under any circumstances, as that would automatically label him/her as gay/lesbian. Something similar happened to my friend Juan who's straight (and very much so) but is considered gay by everyone because he hangs out with me.

That kind of thing differs greatly from region to region, so I can understand your feelings. Here in Massachusetts, however, it's considered odd, at best, to hold such opinions about friends of gay people. I'm not straight, but I would guess that a straight guy who supported gay rights would want to join this forum.

i joined because pirateninja introduced me (along with a couple of other straight friends) and i like it so i stuck around

in the beginning i was a bit unsure... i guess i wouldnt have considered a straight person joining an LGBT site as an option... my mum always taught me to take gay rights seriously... i was raised in a very liberal household, but even so i wondered if id be quite welcome here.... or would people think i was wasting their time or something.
i was comforted that straight is an option when you set up a profile so i decided to try it.

as soon as id spent a bit of time here i realised that it totally doesnt matter and i was perfectly able to feel comfortable here.

do you you think you would prefer it if the straight people left?

[Beebo]

*hugs* Leigh.

no, don't leave.

[beckyg]

I think Fred is being honest about his emotions and making an effort to understand. He lives in a different environment than most of us. I think its always good to ask if you don't understand something.

So those of you that are straight, please know that you are most certainly WELCOME here at EC! We love straight allies! In fact, they are most important in securing equal rights for all. Thank you!

[Beebo]

Originally Posted by beckyg

So those of you that are straight, please know that you are most certainly WELCOME here at EC! We love straight allies! In fact, they are most important in securing equal rights for all. Thank you!

Did Beckyg just welcome herself? BAHAHA. Love you Mamma G!

yay!

hehe thats good cus i dont wanna leave

[Tim]

Originally Posted by Beebo

Did Beckyg just welcome herself? BAHAHA. Love you Mam!

I think she did o.o But of course, we all love becky! And the other straight people here! So please don't go

[beckyg]

Originally Posted by Beebo

Did Beckyg just welcome herself? BAHAHA. Love you Mamma G!

I forget I'm straight sometimes.

[redsapphire]

I'm as straight as they come but for the short time I've been on EC I've felt more welcome than I have ever felt anywhere before.

this place is great and I'd be really upset if I wasn't aloud to come on it because I like guys.

[Tim]

Originally Posted by redsapphire

I'm as straight as they come but for the short time I've been on EC I've felt more welcome than I have ever felt anywhere before.

this place is great and I'd be really upset if I wasn't aloud to come on it because I like guys.

You are quite welcome ^^ Fred is just curious as to why you joined the forum, when it is intended for GLBT people, however that doesn't say you aren't welcome, as we love you just as much as anyone else.

As he pointed out, in Uruguay, you're apparently labeled gay just by going on a site like this, or by simply being friends with someone who is, so I believe he's just curious and hoping you guys can shed some insight on the "straight but gay-friendly" community.

[darkestknight]

I'm straight all the time actually,...


... but earlier this year/later last year I found the gay side of me.

So I'm considered straight and gay at the same time. Simutaneously. Haha.