I'm going to start out by saying that I am EXTREMELY insecure about myself. I second guess everything I do except for this. I don' t blame models or the media for my insecurities, because its my own damn fault. I make myself insecure. I look at pictures of models, than back at myself and make sure to tell myself that I will never meet those expectations. I tell myself that I'm not good enough, or that I'm not pretty, or that I can't be happy. Thats not anyone but me. Though I will admit to having gone through trauma that has knocked me down a few pegs, its me telling myself that I'm worthless and not anybody else. I decided to post this after watching a video about Target had a photoshop error and everyone blamed Target for making girls insecure.Its ridiculous because its to Target's job to make you feel good about yourself, their a department store for Christ's sake, their here to sell you a product. Long story short, if your sitting there blaming media and society for your problems with insecurity your only pushing the problem onto somebody else rather than dealing with it yourself. If you want to better yourself than YOU have to do it, because it's not society's job to lower its standards to make you feel better.
I agree and disagree with the above. The impact of media and culture on our view of ourseives and our bodies is tremendous, and in social work terms, this is a topic known as "critical awareness." Most people today aren't aware of, and don't practice critical awareness, but it is a really important cornerstone of shame resilience. Media and advertising use shame to sell us stuff. And when we're surrounded by it everywhere we go... in the movies we watch, the ads we see, the magazines we read, the stores we shop in... the unattainable perfection used to sell us shit is nothing short of evil. Where I disagree is that I believe the companies selling shame do need to be held accountable. Anna Wintour, publisher of Vogue, recently announced that she's no longer going to work with grossly unhealthy superthin models and photoshop the hell out of images in Vogue. I don't know her motivations, but in any case, it's a positive step, and no doubt came about because of public awareness. If enough of us communicate to the stores, manufacturers, advertisers who sell shame and tell them it isn't OK, and we won't buy their products until they stop with the bullshit... they'll stop. And particularly if we support the ones who are trying to advertise and market honestly, that will encourage more companies to do the same. At the same time, critical awareness means really being aware of just how much shame is used to sell us crap. Everything you're sold, particularly with regard to clothes, hair products, makeup, plastic surgery, etc... they tell you you're not attractive enough/slim enough/have clear enough skin/nice enough eyes. No matter how much we try, it affects us. So we have to acknowledge and own the effect. Interestingly, the research shows that the people who most deny that media influences them are the most affected by it. So we learn to practice critical awareness, and start loving ourselves for who we are. The mantra that Brené Brown uses is "I am enough." Otherwise, we get stuck in a cycle of perfectionism that we can never achieve. We can still strive to be even better than we are today, but we must first learn to love and accept ourselves as we are in the now. (That is the 2nd component of shame resilience.) It's a complex area of study, but fundamentally, it is totally within our control to be happy and fulfilled and wholehearted. I agree that the responsibility lies within us, and not externally, but we can work to change the external (the companies selling shame) while also learning to love ourselves as we are (critical awareness and self-acceptance.)
I feel the same. I'm super insecure about how skinny and weak I am. I honestly can't do much about it either cause I have a really high metabolism and I eat so much and so unhealthy. People just keep pointing it out but it's my fault for believing them and letting their words affect me
Im super insecure. I won't lie i'm fat. I look at myself and feel unhappy. I hate being fat and will do anything to look skinny. Really, im not even that fat, you can barely tell. but i hate myself 4 it. I just dont think ill ever be attractive unless i lose weight. I've been eating a lot less than, usual and since its almost spring hopefully ill lose lots of weight. I don't even care how much. Just as long as im skinny. Thats all i want
I was very insecure especially when I first joined cheerleading which was when I became bulimic but I got over that like I dunno not too long after that although I'm constantly dieting and stopping myself from eating. I'm probably a little better now but I always still try to find a bathroom to make sure I look great but having models and actors and stuff only gives us a goal to work towards so it's not so bad I think.
