(not exactly looking for support or advice... so I figured it'd be best off here) Well my closest friends are quite a bunch, I'd say. One is bi, one is gay (but heavily denies it, but I know. ) And the other insists he's straight, even though he likes to mess around with the other gay guy. I don't think he's totally straight at all... And then you have me. But anyway. I'm constantly dropping hints as if I'm quite openly gay (Which I'm starting to be, kinda) and yet they all think I'm joking around. I could probably tell them all I was gay and they wouldn't really take it in. Why do some people have to be so stupid? Do any of you have this kind of situation? Maybe not with those type of friends... but where you say things like "So and so is hot" and yet they don't even consider that you are actually gay.
I know what you mean. I have a friend who acts gay all the time (cuz he thinks it's soooo funny) but when I told him I was actually gay.. he said we couldn't be friends. So what's that about??
Well maybe he IS gay and jealous that the fact you are much hotter than him You know hot guys gets many chances than normal looking guy:eusa_shhh I do have same kinda friends too, they didn't believe what I tell them untill it's actually happens or see it.
Well since you're not exactly looking for support or advice i'm not going to give any. But remember to always look at any decision you make from both perspectives. For instance, your mates may well be gay and bi or they may just be straight and comfortable with their sexuality. Either way i'm sure there are alot of bi people out there especially who have supressed their homosexual tendancies for fear of negative repocussions. I'd say not to force them though, when confronted alot of people will go on the defensive and you'll be no closer to finding out their true sexuality. So what may seem as jokey flamboyant behaviour may well be a joke, or it may be how they would prefer to act (but pass it off as a joke to avoid the chances of you finding out). All very over complicated if i do say so myself... but i'm writing it off the cuff here. Another point though, is only put yourself on the table when you can be sure that they can deal with either the possitive or the negative (e.g. which ever scenario may come along). Your friends if they are true will stick by you no matter what, they'll still respect you regardless of which sex you happen to fancy. But be prepared if it all goes pete tong, unfortunately my coming out wasn't quite ideal, confiding in a 'close friend' I felt relieved at first, however, now loads of people know as a result of their loose tongue.. and that's got to be something you are prepared for (I was and am not). If all else fails, nothing says i'm gay more than coming on to one of your mates . But realistically don't assume that outwardly 'gay' actions and hints give the game away. People are stupid and regardless of the many hints I gave to some people, regardless of all the talk about fancying the **** out of x,y+z and the occasional crotch grab none of them would have guessed. Which for me sounds stupid, but they just say it all as me having a joke. God i've rambled on for tonnes and I dunno why, just so much to say I guess. Any who look forward to hearing more from you on the site.
I have had that. I was on staff at my Residence Hall while in college and no one on staff knew (except my good friend Joe) that I was even questioning. At that time, I was still mostly in denial but really struggling with who I was. But as I started to figure it out (even I had to acknowledge some of the VERY obvious clues), I started to tell the staff things that should have been tip-offs -- yet, no one ever said a thing. Things I told them: 1. Favorite artist of the time: Cher 2. Favorite actor of the time: Heath Ledger 3. Favorite dance music: Club Techno Oh, and participating in the Day of Silence at my school for 3 of my 6 years didn't tip anyone off either -- they all ASSUMED that I was a "straight ally." OH, COME ON! But, they didn't have a clue becuase I hadn't come out and told them.
Let's be perfectly clear on one thing here, and that is that people are wonderfuly oblivious to anything that is not directly in front of them (believe me, I am SO guilty of this). Part of this is is accidental, and sometimes it's by design. For instance, I've told a sizable number of people that I'm gay, and out of all of them, I've only had one person tell me that they even suspected me. When I told one of my best friends, whom I've known since we were in 7th grade (I'm 25 now), he was genuinely surprised. The "by design" part of that is that, unfortunately, sexuality is still a taboo subject for most, so the vast majority of the population acts under a sort of "don't ask, don't tell" mentality. I've had two people come out to me since I've come out (sup, BlamBlazer!), and although in both cases I had serious suspicions, I had no reason to directly ask the person, "Hey, are you gay?" So, even if your friends suspect something, they might just be too polite to ask you directly.
Definitely had it happen. I have a friend whom I chickwatch with who I had to actually state I was gay. He just thought I had a good insight into the male mind.
