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People who challenge you

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by PatrickUK, Mar 20, 2014.

  1. PatrickUK

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    How do you get along with people who challenge you or contradict your ideas and opinions?

    Can people argue/debate with you easily or do you take offence and become irritated or angry you when people do this? Be honest! If somebody disagrees with you, do you feel as though they are against you and see them as unfriendly?

    And what about coming out? How do you feel about a contrary reaction to this?

    People who challenge you... what do think?
     
  2. Yosia

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    Depends what mood im in, i have had a full discussion with someone before but i have also slapped someone before XD
     
  3. White Knight

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    Unless it is one of my causes(women rights, animal rights, lgbt or other minority rights or things related to those groups) you can't get an arguement/debate out of me. I simply say my opinion and shrug.

    God help the fools who would try to talk bad/cruel about one of my causes, I'd verbally bludgeon them to submisson. :grin:
     
  4. kageshiro

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    I despise arguing or even debating, it's really a last resort for me. So if I think someone won't appreciate an interest or idea or principle I have then I won't share it with them.

    I think being disagreed with is hurtful on some level since something you're probably passionate about is pretty much getting rejected. But as long as it's respectful disagreement it shouldn't be a big deal. Unless its a stupid contradiction along the lines of "I love you but disagree with your homosexual lifestyle" or something which isn't respectful anyway
     
  5. sanguine

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    it depends, if the topic is out of my element I try to go into it with an open mind, though sometimes thats hard cause I have ego and if they come off somewhat overbearing and arrogant I usually just argue for the sake of being right.

    If its to the reaction of someone coming out, there is no reaction that is not stupid other than acceptance, to me its just one topic I have zero tolerance for, Ive come to far to settle for anything less tbh.
     
  6. ZombieEater

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    I don't feel angry, but these days I'm just not in the mood to argue with anyone; I just don't have the energy to do so, so I give in, hoping that they'll shut up.
     
  7. Ravi-VIXX777

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    I'm someone that loves debate and never really lose-given I have time to get information.

    I like challenges, but not people who question my thinking. I am understanding of people's differences in beliefs/logic, but if there is no evidence I become irritated with them.

    On the topic of being gay, I have no worries to starting 'preaching' to them, nor will I back down. If it is about something I don't know, I usually will listen and not argue.
     
  8. Callie

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    I like it when someone challenges my opinion. Debating is fun, I don't see it as unfriendly.
     
  9. Chiroptera

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    I love discussions. Outside the university, generally they end because people get mad at me, hahaha.
     
  10. Nikky DoUrden

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    I'm kinda the same here :slight_smile:
    I'm a logical person and if someone can show me a logical argument against my own, I will re-build my logic and accept it!

    Some special cases though are things like "magic" that people say exist, like ghosts and astrology .. there is not a single argument that can make me think in favour of those :eusa_naug
     
  11. AAASAS

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    Depends on the person.

    If someone I know respects me, and has confidence in me contradicts me I usually don't care, sure I may argue, but to me arguing or debating isn't really a big deal. I know to others confrontation or any kind of dispute is undesirable, but I actually almost like to argue with people. It just has to be the right kind of person, someone who is open to an argument and can put emotions aside.

    I can deal with someone not believing me, but if they don't believe me because they think or I feel they think I am stupid, then that can be a problem.

    I cannot stand when people that do not know me write me off, or contradict me without even knowing who I am.

    I also tend not to disagree with people I don't know that well, just to be respectful, so I almost expect people who don't know me that well to do the same. Obviously if someone is saying something disrespectful you don't need to agree, but there is no point in telling someone you don't know they are wrong.

    I actually find it pretty easy to admit I'm wrong if I am given empirical evidence .

    I also don't like it if I am in disagreement with someone and they can't even consider what I am saying or where I am coming from.

    One example is my views on the free market, western lifestyle, and wealth distribution. To avoid sounding like a hippy, I am not completely socialist, and am not mad that people have a lot of wealth who worked for it. However I do find it hard to talk to any capitalist or almost westerner about how we do certain things wrong because they never look from my point of view.
     
  12. dano218

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    If I am had a huge cafenine intake and I get into a debate or argument with someone it is never gonna end well until i get less hyper through out the day. That is why I don't come on this until I am a calm passive person or else it will come back to bite me.
     
  13. EatYourRikkios

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    Pretty well, actually! So many of my best friends believe vastly different things than I do, about a number of subjects, ranging from religion to sex to politics to music.

    I love to debate, I think it's a lot of fun, and I enjoy hearing other people's reasoning for their views. It does leave me with the unfortunate tendency to seem argumentative, however, which is something I'm working on. :-/

    If someone disagrees with me, my first reaction tends to be slight confusion and buckets of curiosity. In that order. I usually start asking endless questions for why they think the way they do, trying to get them to explain. I usually don't get angry unless someone doesn't have reasoning, and even then, for most subjects, it's more irritation than anything else. I do, admittedly, get very pouty and grumpy when people don't want to put up with my never-ceasing questions and debate with me.

    I have, thankfully, yet to have a violently negative reaction to coming out. However, considering that... four of the six people I've come out to are gay, and one of the others is my twin sister, I don't think that's exactly surprising! So, I'm not sure how I'd handle it. Keeping this in mind, I think of my parents' views and how I felt when those were brought up, and I think of one friend's reaction - 'My mom was right! You do have spirits of lust and rebellion attached to you!' 'Uh... what?' - and I think of how I reacted to that. I felt very hurt, but Didn't say much, either time. Still beating myself up for that. I feel like I should have spoken up.

    I think it would wholly depend on who it was. If the people who reacted badly were my parents? There would be lots of shouting, violent disagreement. I'm not sure who would yell first.

    If it was a friend? Anger, hurt, probably some feelings of betrayal mixed in there to taste... I like to think I would, outwardly, react in a collected, calm manner, and tell them how hurtful that was. But I know myself pretty well and I'd probably either take it, and never bring the subject up again, feeling hurt and upset though I would be, and would end up distancing myself from that person.

    Contrariwise, I'd be deeply upset and shout at them, asking what was wrong with their brains to make them such a bigot and ask where they grew up, under a rock in Afghanistan, or Moscow? It's the 21st century, evolve a little.

    ...But, yeah. In general, I enjoy being challenged, on a number of subjects. I like to go back and forth with people about my beliefs, about sex, music, politics, current events, ethics, Doctor Who or Sherlock... But there are some subjects that hit my hot buttons.

    When I see something I view as bigotry, I'm not a rational person any longer. I won't debate with someone about race, gender identity, sexual orientation, disabilities, any of that, because those are things you can't change, with the possible exception of the latter. I'm very firm in my opinions there, and if you're prejudiced against someone for something they are born with, that they can't change? I don't want to deal with you. I just don't.
     
  14. Tarok

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    I tend to be a little aggresive and act as if I spoke the ultimate truth... but I'm not ilogical, either. If they can prove they're right, I can accept it.

    And about coming out, sometimes I wish they didn't accept it so I have an excuse to punch their stupid face.

    I'M VERY DIPLOMATIC.
     
  15. FireSmoke

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    I had a "friend" of mine who seemed friendly with good feelings but in fact they is only an envious person who said to me bad things about myself. And now I'm not in touch with them anymore and I hate them so much.

    Close introduction.

    I'm very short-tempered and when a person talk to me only just because of the fancy to contradict me (like that "friend" of the introduction), I become very angry but at the same time I stay reserved and often freeze the conversation with a cold expression.

    About coming out? No, I've never came out yet to a person who is outside my family so I don't know...but thinking about that, I don't give a fuck about the others' opinion.
     
  16. biAnnika

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    *Love* intelligent, respectful disagreement. It's the only way to grow and evolve as a person...no one of us has it all figured out.

    *Hate* ego-based, unsubstantiated opinions, *whether or not they coincide with mine*. People who believe something only because it feels right to them, despite being against all facts and evidence (aside perhaps from the occasional sample size of n=1), and expect me to "agree to disagree" just drive me through the roof.
     
  17. malachite

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    I take a more logical side and most people get mad at me because most of opinions are formed experience and research. I supposed I come off as putting them down, which I don't mean to, but it most people get pissed off at me.
    Or I point out how their bias toward a certain subject has nothing to do with the issue at hand.
     
  18. imnotreallysure

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    I am extremely argumentative, and will argue with anyone over anything, even if I don't care. Heck, even if I'm arguing with someone, and they eventually agree with me, I will switch sides, so I can continue arguing with them. I've managed to piss off a lot of people that way, but I find it funny.

    If I am arguing over a cause I feel strongly about, however, I usually take it more seriously and have a less flippant attitude. I can get very annoyed if I'm discussing immigration with someone, and they suggest that people of a certain ethnic background behave in a certain undesirable way. Despite not being an ethnic minority myself, it still upsets me when I hear people badmouthing entire groups of people based on stereotypes and preconceived notions. When having such debates, they usually lecture me about respecting their opinion, but I can't respect an opinion that is poorly thought-out and based very little on evidence and more on prejudice. Just because you have an opinion, doesn't mean it cannot be challenged.

    When it comes to politics or economics, however, I never get annoyed - I thoroughly enjoy sharing my ideas and thoughts with other people, and I am genuinely curious to know what other people think, even if I disagree. Most people don't share my level of interest in these areas though, so I usually end up rambling and annoying people by never shutting up or allowing other people to get a word in (not intentionally - I just talk, a lot, and tend to get consumed by my own thoughts).
     
    #18 imnotreallysure, Mar 20, 2014
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2014
  19. Foxface

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    I just don't have the time or need anymore to debate people especially online. I love how people get rude and beligerent and claim it is nothing more than debate. Like somehow being a jerk is ok if you call it logic. The reality is so many fallacies occur that I can't even take them seriously anymore. But the fallacies bother me a lot less than beligerence.

    I truly believe most people who say they "debate" don't really know what discourse and debate really is. More often than not they argue and hide behind the veil of debate. Myself included. I am not good at debate and I freely admit it. Plus I really just don't care what others think. Some things are subjective but people STILL claim it is objective. I just don't get it

    case in point...politics. Let's look at abortion

    You have the liberal side who want abortion to stand because "my body, my right" - Admittedly I am very much pro choice but consider that people have differing opinions and will approach these concepts from different lenses. It does not make you right or wrong

    Then on the conservative side it's "abortion is murder" because a book told us that it was. A book that was written and rewritten by man that is filled with self fulfilling prophecies with no actual proof

    See what I am getting at here? I may be a far left Socialist and agree with liberal politics but really? Both sides are ridiculously guilty of placing objective standards on subjective arguments

    It isn't debate when it comes down to that...
     
  20. AudreyB

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    I personally love people who challenge me, if we're talking intellectually. Now, if they're just argumentative or the "overcompensating" type, no thanks. It takes a lot out of me to put up with that and life is too short, you know?