Gender policing hurts kids - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

beckyg · 19th Jul 2008, 06:03 AM

http://www.feministe.us/blog/archive...ng-hurts-kids/

I see this soooo much in my child care! Parents trying to force kids into gender roles even going so far as not letting their boys pick up dolls. I always try to mention that they are simply learning how to be good fathers.

Tim · 19th Jul 2008, 07:54 AM

Wow. o.o

Guess I was lucky, I used to love dolls when I was little, and my mom accepted that, granted, yes, I AM gay, but that wasn't part of it =P I also loved Power Rangers, Batman, etc =P

I think it's stupid when parents do things like that, kids like what they like, you can't change their mind. >_>; You just hurt them in the long run.

Nick · 19th Jul 2008, 08:00 AM

To me it almost seems like a form of sexism, not allowing boys to pick up dolls...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Myzou

I also loved Power Rangers, Batman, etc =P

What is this "loved", past tense business, eh?... Blasphemy !! :P (I still like them...)

Étoile · 19th Jul 2008, 08:57 AM

Well, I played with Barbie dolls when I was younger but I had a lot more Power Rangers and X-Men action figures that I played with more often.

A lot of times, parents restrict their kids to gender-specific things with good intentions because of society's views on what's right and what's wrong. Just because Eric's parents are open-minded doesn't mean that Ben's, Jesse's, Mark's, and Chris's parents are.

**Helen** · 19th Jul 2008, 09:51 AM

Eeh, I was fairly girly in my youth. But I certainly would not force my children to only like 'things for girls' or 'things for boys', if I had children. I don't think I'd care if their friends' parents weren't as open minded as I was, I would encourage my child to be whoever they wanted, and try and teach their friends to be whoever THEY wanted.

Tim · 19th Jul 2008, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pinstripe

To me it almost seems like a form of sexism, not allowing boys to pick up dolls...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Myzou

I also loved Power Rangers, Batman, etc =P

What is this "loved", past tense business, eh?... Blasphemy !! :P (I still like them...)

Loved can mean past tense or not

If you read one of my more recent threads in Ent. + Tech. Forum, I'm still a fan of Power Rangers

Hoppip · 19th Jul 2008, 01:18 PM

I always did gender neutral things - drawing pictures, creating things.

I liked creating things, because there were no guidelines.

And I played the Sims - a completely 'androgynous' game in my opinion.

I think that gender policing is really... annoying, I s'pose.

TheSuburbian · 19th Jul 2008, 02:35 PM

I had no patience for almost anything when I was younger (ADHD), lol. So I really wasn't policed much.

xxAngelOnFirexx · 19th Jul 2008, 04:13 PM

my parents let me play with dinosaurs instead of dolls. i'm happy they let me be the tom-boy i am.

jazzrawr · 19th Jul 2008, 06:20 PM

I was a huge tomboy as a kid. HUUGGEE. I wouldn't let my parents even take me near anything girly XD I always played in the mud...and I liked to pretend to be Tarzan XD
Yeah, i was wierd. >.<
I've changed a bit since then. But my childhood made me who I am...Gender policing is ridiculous. Let kids grow up to be who they want to be.

darkestknight · 19th Jul 2008, 06:37 PM

I hate those gender-conditioning shit. They are really that paranoid??

When I was a little kid, I played with toy guns, legos, electronic hobby kits (yeah they are fun!), ... and also some teatime sets. That didn't make me too less of a man.

Jace · 19th Jul 2008, 10:21 PM

mmm when i was younger i played with dolls, but i also played with cars (i had tonssss of toy cars, lol, but i also had all of the spice girls dolls

)

i could probably still name all of the cars i have

Kimi · 19th Jul 2008, 10:39 PM

I was weird kid I think lol

I played with dolls, played house with girls, I even had a hello kitty kitchen to play with

But at the same time, I liked to play with mud, cars and some hero figures and etc.

I can't believe they let me get that kitty kitchen thing lol It was pink!!

Psychedelic Bookmarks · 20th Jul 2008, 10:22 AM

Gender freedom starts at home, and with teh kiddies! Let them be themselves!

Derek the Wolf · 20th Jul 2008, 08:19 PM

That's ridiculous. Men and women should learn gender roles, but if a kid is gay, you can't change that. He/she still needs to learn how to be a father/mother and how to act in a social environment. I guess these people have made up their minds in the nature vs. nurture argument. I'd disagree with them...

19th Jul 2008, 06:03 AM	#1
beckyg PFLAG Mom Community Liaison Gender: Female Orientation: Straight Out Status: Out to everyone/Yes, parents come out too! Location: Middle of Oregon Age: 50 Posts: 7,572 Join Date: Mar 2007	Gender policing hurts kids http://www.feministe.us/blog/archive...ng-hurts-kids/ I see this soooo much in my child care! Parents trying to force kids into gender roles even going so far as not letting their boys pick up dolls. I always try to mention that they are simply learning how to be good fathers. __________________ "When we're free to love anyone we choose, When this worlds big enough for all different views, When we're all free to worship from our own kind of pew, Then we shall be free" ~ Garth Brooks

19th Jul 2008, 07:54 AM	#2
Tim Psycho Glitter Btch Full Member Gender:* Guy, Unless Life Was a Horrible April Fools Joke. Orientation: Gay/Asexual/Confusing to Explain Out Status: Armed and Fabulous! XD Location: California Age: 23 Posts: 7,379 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: Gender policing hurts kids Wow. o.o Guess I was lucky, I used to love dolls when I was little, and my mom accepted that, granted, yes, I AM gay, but that wasn't part of it =P I also loved Power Rangers, Batman, etc =P I think it's stupid when parents do things like that, kids like what they like, you can't change their mind. >_>; You just hurt them in the long run. __________________ Rawr! :3 ~The Stalker User Known As Tim~ Rawr! :3 EC's Sailor Star Healer, Oxymoron and All. Star Sensitive Inferno! Sailor Starlight, Stage On! [Vic] 7:49 pm: I keep my pants off in public.

19th Jul 2008, 08:57 AM	#4
Étoile He ate my heart Full Member Gender: Garçon Orientation: 95% Gay, 5% Cheesecake Out Status: Out to everyone Location: The Peach State Age: 20 Posts: 1,575 Join Date: Nov 2007	Re: Gender policing hurts kids Well, I played with Barbie dolls when I was younger but I had a lot more Power Rangers and X-Men action figures that I played with more often. A lot of times, parents restrict their kids to gender-specific things with good intentions because of society's views on what's right and what's wrong. Just because Eric's parents are open-minded doesn't mean that Ben's, Jesse's, Mark's, and Chris's parents are.

19th Jul 2008, 09:51 AM	#5
Helen Empty Closets Mod EC Moderator Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Inconsequential if people know. Location: York, United Kingdom Age: 19 Posts: 2,101 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: Gender policing hurts kids Eeh, I was fairly girly in my youth. But I certainly would not force my children to only like 'things for girls' or 'things for boys', if I had children. I don't think I'd care if their friends' parents weren't as open minded as I was, I would encourage my child to be whoever they wanted, and try and teach their friends to be whoever THEY wanted. __________________ I want a window where I can see a tree, or even water... (....and the lesbians)

19th Jul 2008, 01:18 PM	#7
Hoppip look at the good i do Full Member Gender: Lv. 18 ♂ Orientation: Water / Dragon Out Status: Uncommon Location: Johto Posts: 1,562 Join Date: May 2008	Re: Gender policing hurts kids I always did gender neutral things - drawing pictures, creating things. I liked creating things, because there were no guidelines. And I played the Sims - a completely 'androgynous' game in my opinion. I think that gender policing is really... annoying, I s'pose. __________________ KUDOS ME. I made myshelf pregnant.

19th Jul 2008, 02:35 PM	#8
TheSuburbian Can't help himself. Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: St. Louis West County, Missouri Age: 19 Posts: 193 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: Gender policing hurts kids I had no patience for almost anything when I was younger (ADHD), lol. So I really wasn't policed much. __________________ PMs are appreciated, but not required. They help me remember that random people still care.

19th Jul 2008, 04:13 PM	#9
xxAngelOnFirexx EC Guardian Angel Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Straight Out Status: Out to everyone Age: 20 Posts: 1,717 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: Gender policing hurts kids my parents let me play with dinosaurs instead of dolls. i'm happy they let me be the tom-boy i am. __________________ *~xMorganx~* Feel free to talk to me about depression, mental disorders, self-harm and suicdal thoughts! I'm here to help!

19th Jul 2008, 06:20 PM	#10
jazzrawr Lover of Loony Lovegood Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesimbean Out Status: I scream it from rooftops Location: Ontario, Canada. Age: 19 Posts: 3,391 Join Date: Feb 2008	Re: Gender policing hurts kids I was a huge tomboy as a kid. HUUGGEE. I wouldn't let my parents even take me near anything girly XD I always played in the mud...and I liked to pretend to be Tarzan XD Yeah, i was wierd. >.< I've changed a bit since then. But my childhood made me who I am...Gender policing is ridiculous. Let kids grow up to be who they want to be. __________________ <3 You can love people so much... But you can never love someone as much as you can miss them. (...and the lesbians.)

19th Jul 2008, 06:37 PM	#11
darkestknight Ik ben vandaag zo vrolijk! Full Member Gender: Male, XY Orientation: Men, men, and more men! Out Status: Almost out to everyone Location: Malaysia Posts: 526 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: Gender policing hurts kids I hate those gender-conditioning shit. They are really that paranoid?? When I was a little kid, I played with toy guns, legos, electronic hobby kits (yeah they are fun!), ... and also some teatime sets. That didn't make me too less of a man.

19th Jul 2008, 10:21 PM	#12
Jace EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Everyone except non-imediate family. Location: texaass Age: 18 Posts: 429 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: Gender policing hurts kids mmm when i was younger i played with dolls, but i also played with cars (i had tonssss of toy cars, lol, but i also had all of the spice girls dolls ) i could probably still name all of the cars i have

19th Jul 2008, 10:39 PM	#13
Kimi EC's Biggest Horndog Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: A few people Location: Japan Age: 22 Posts: 3,017 Join Date: Feb 2007	Re: Gender policing hurts kids I was weird kid I think lol I played with dolls, played house with girls, I even had a hello kitty kitchen to play with But at the same time, I liked to play with mud, cars and some hero figures and etc. I can't believe they let me get that kitty kitchen thing lol It was pink!! __________________ AMAZINGLY, I GET HOTTER WITH MY CLOTHES OFF

20th Jul 2008, 10:22 AM	#14
Psychedelic Bookmarks Helena Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Close family and quite a few friends Location: UK Age: 18 Posts: 2,195 Join Date: Oct 2007	Re: Gender policing hurts kids Gender freedom starts at home, and with teh kiddies! Let them be themselves! __________________ "I refuse to recognize the terms hetero-, bi-, and homo-sexual. Everybody has exactly the same sexual needs. People are just sexual, the prefix is immaterial." (Morissey)

20th Jul 2008, 08:19 PM	#15
Derek the Wolf Furry Overlord Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Pansexual Out Status: Majority Location: Illinois Age: 20 Posts: 1,325 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: Gender policing hurts kids That's ridiculous. Men and women should learn gender roles, but if a kid is gay, you can't change that. He/she still needs to learn how to be a father/mother and how to act in a social environment. I guess these people have made up their minds in the nature vs. nurture argument. I'd disagree with them... __________________

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