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"Partner" vs. "Husband/Wife"

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Envira, Mar 27, 2014.

  1. Envira

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    So, I've noticed generally when a gay person is introducing their girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband, the term "partner" is used. Why is this the case? In places that are more accepting of LGBT+, shouldn't we be more casual? If I'm with a woman, she's my girlfriend, and I'm hers. Why should different terms apply?
     
  2. stocking

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    I don't like the term partner I like the term wife I'm no different from heterosexuals I just happen to like the same sex I have a right to call a woman I'm married to my wife .
     
  3. AlamoCity

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    Perhaps "partner" is more popular in the United States (other countries use partner even for heterosexual relationships) for those in the age group that grew up and dated never having known the fact that they would ever be able to civilly marry. I was 14 when Massachusetts passed same-sex marriage so I grew up in a generation that will probably simply use "boyfriend" and, later, "husband" because the legal remedy of marriage is available in some jurisdictions of the United States (and will hopefully/probably be the law throughout the land soon).
     
  4. phoenix89

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    I think it comes from the idea of a Domestic Partnership. I could be completely wrong, but yea.
     
  5. ShadowSpirit26

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    I wouldn't use the term partner. If I had a boyfriend, then I would call him my boyfriend, and if I had a husband, then I would call him my husband, because he would be. Having different terms makes no sense to me.
     
    #5 ShadowSpirit26, Mar 27, 2014
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2014
  6. Tightrope

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    In other countries, the term "partner" is actually more prevalent for heterosexual relationships, since people in other countries think they're cool when they pick up English words like "weekend," "relax," and others. To this day, I still think partner, in the U.S. and Canada, tends to mean a relationship with someone of the same sex more often than not. Its use seems to be more urban, more PC, and meant to blanket any possible relationship combination or situation so as to not offend, especially when the person who might ask this of you doesn't know you. In less urban and/or more traditional areas, I think I might expect to hear "significant other" as the term to cover all the bases. I don't expect any major changes anytime soon. It will continue to be a mixed bag. People will either assume or want to know the gender of who a person is involved with. And if they can't figure it out, then they'll start to gossip! BTDT.
     
  7. IsThisAName

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    I've always wondered the same. If I marry a girl, I'm calling her my wife, and if I have a girlfriend, I'm calling her my girlfriend. I'm not sure if there are other reasons gay couples use the term "partner," but if it's because of fear of discrimination, that's understandable, but I don't give a shit if anyone's offended by who I love, I'll say it loud and proud if anyone asks.
     
  8. Zam

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    When you say partner I think of a buisness partner not of your wife/husband.
     
  9. Aussie792

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    Partner seems too, if not formal, at least too cold for me. It seems more appropriate to a small business than to a married couple as spouses. On the plus side, it's better than habitually calling your spouse your spouse. Though I think it is appropriate in signifying a relationship that has reached a level of near-marriage, and is above being just boyfriend(s)/girlfriend(s). It's also gender-neutral, which makes it more suitable for some people, obviously, as well as providing a generic term for relationships.
     
  10. Andrew99

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    Boyfriend partner husband whatever u wanna call it but I actually hate saying partner to it doesn't sound right.
     
  11. Sasha Braus

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    I mean, if my partner is trans and prefers a different pronoun, then I guess I would say partner when introducing them. Also, I'm not looking for anything more than a common law relationship, so I guess partner fills the gap between "boyfriend/girlfriend" and "husband/wife". I personally... dunno. I'll cross that bridge when I reach it.
     
  12. C P

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    'Partner' just seems too, as it has been put before, detached, imo, like someone who is just helping out with things rather than that special someone for you.

    Although I can see how some find it fitting, I personally do not care for it and it sounds pretty... awkward to me when it is used.
     
  13. Beantown

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    I like partner, it seems progressive.
     
  14. IG88

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    I always took it as first your dating your gf/bf, then if you're going to be together forever then it has now become partner, or if you got a civil union, and then finally husband/wife for full marriage. Or am I the only one who thought that?
     
  15. Porphyrogenitus

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    I mostly hear 'partner' used by unmarried straight couples (those older than their teen years), who think 'boyfriend/girlfriend' seems too immature, or sounds like they're insufficiently serious/steady.
     
  16. AKTodd

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    I refer to him as "my partner" most of the time. He refers to me as his "other half". In past relationships (and maybe early in ours - I don't really remember) I've used the term "boyfriend". When we get married, we may or may not change our habitual terminology to "husband". It's really not something that keeps us up nights.

    Contrary to popular belief, these sorts of things don't get seriously thought about or discussed all the time. Sometimes they just evolve over time, sometimes they just happen because a term 'feels right' to the people involved.

    Todd
     
  17. Amerigo

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    "partner in crime"

    well, in some countries it is a crime :frowning2:
     
  18. apostrophied

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    It depends on where you're from. In Canada and the US, "partner" is pretty much only used when you're in a same-sex relationship. My Australian friend, however, uses it for straight people and assures me that it's normal to do so in Australia (my sister's Australian friend says the same).

    Language is another factor: within French Canada, people often live with each other for decades without actually being married (they even buy houses and have kids... and then they break up and all hell breaks loose lol). So it's far from unusual for a 50-year-old woman to refer to the man she's with as "mon chum" ("my boyfriend"). Among English-speakers, I'm not sure which terms they use in such situations...
     
  19. FireSmoke

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    The existence of the word "partner" is very important for us non-binary people and transgender people. My wife could call me "husband" but for the law I'm not a male...so she can call me "her partner :icon_bigg".

    But I like call my love "girlfriend" or "wife". This last one is a beautiful word... :slight_smile:
     
  20. Tarok

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    Every time someone says "partner" it means that they are in the closet again. Like if you didn't want to say their gender.