Loud neighbours having sex, what should I do?

Stick the following letter under their door.

"Dear occupant,

I wanted to write you a thank you note for solving one of the major problems in my life.

I've recently fallen into a bit of financial trouble and, as such, have been woefully without connection to the internet for some time. As you can imagine this has been a difficult time for me, as I have been unable to access any form of pornography.

That is were you come in.

I want to thank you whole heartedly for your loud, sexual moans. Who needs pornography when you have the real thing going on within earshot. The sounds I hear on a regular basis provide me with more than enough stimulation to 'enjoy' myself.

I wondered if it would be possible for you to scream "OH MARTIN!" about 3 minutes in next time?

Thank you very much!"

Don't leave any contact details.

 

That is absolutely class Ellia!

It's up to you exactly as you word it, but the above is definitely an idea of it. An unsigned letter would be my method of action too.

 

Oh my god. :lol:

 

I had *the same exact problem* except, the woman was in the apartment above me. So, as I lay awake at 3-4am staring at my ceiling trying to go back to sleep I was trying to shoot lasers from my eyes into the floor above.

Attempt 1 : I had my siblings over (first and last time), we were playing axis of allies? in the living room, it was only about 8 or 9 pm and through the ceiling and two rooms away we started to hear noises. We figure it's my cat in my bedroom so we all go in there and the creaking turned to moaning turned to really loud sexy times noise. My brothers thought it was hilarious, and they started screaming right along with the woman, she abruptly stopped, which made the whole thing even funnier. Unfortunately this didn't solve the noise problem.

Attempt 2: A couple of weeks passed and I happened to run into the boyfriend. Simple conversation turns into him complaining about the landlord. *i get a lightbulb moment* I mention my apartment and some problems like "and the hot water only lasts for ten minutes tops!", and then without even thinking I say "...and these walls are so thin, you won't believe how many times I get woken up in the middle of the night by some womans orgasmic screams, it's driving me crazy!". --silence-- I laugh, then he laughs and we part ways. Problem solved.

 

Frankly the best thing to do is immitate her moans.
This will get creepy fast and she will stop... let's hope.

 

This is what I would do, just start screaming along with them and be like "I'M TOTALLY FAPPING TO THIS". Should shut 'em up pretty quick :roflmao:

 

I was once that type of neighbor but I was alone but the next door neighbor never seemed to mind . I'd feel bad sometimes but like it felt so good I couldn't help it .
but that could explain the strange looks and smiles but one time I would get from time to time form my male neighbors at the time I did not know they were hearing me I would put the tv up and music and stuff . One time I was you doing stuff alone and I scared a squirrel really bad that it banged into my window and I stopped after that because I thought oh crap if this squirrel can hear me then everyone can I was embarrassed because I was the cause of that poor animal hurting it's self because of me that poor thing was knocked out on the ground cold after hitting that window .:icon_sad:
I always waited til 2am because I thought everyone was a sleep and no one would hear me most of the time i did evenings too .

 

Ellia's suggestion takes the cake. DO IT! :roflmao: She'll never be loud again.

 

oh god thats funny :roflmao:

 

I was literally going to make a thread about this. My neighbors always have sex on Saturday's and I mean its anywhere from 12-4am so ya I know I don't know if I should say anything but ya what a quincidence that I was gonna make a thread exactly like this.

 

Do this, and invite a bunch of friends over to help

 

..I would bang on the walls and make chicken noises when they wake you up, that should creep them out

 

offer to join in....

 

You need a medal for this.

 

Holly, you are a fucking genius.

 

Brilliant! :roflmao:

 

Okay i'm sorry but this post made me laugh almost to tears. I feel bad though because the squirell got knocked out but ohhh my god. You are hilarious! Thanks for making my day! :lol:

Ellia's post was funny too :lol:

 

Learn to play accordion or bagpipes. Start practicing if she has sex. That will definitely be a mood killer.

 

How does the old expression go? If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.