Why do people not believe that a child can know their sexuality ?

It's hard for me to imagine knowing at such a young age because I never dated until after I started college... even then pop's first response was "no, you can't". Sexuality was never a part of any discussion at home, so it was something I was afraid of for a long time.

But I've heard enough stories of people knowing their orientation even before puberty, it still boggles my mind and is hard for me to comprehend how it's possible, but I don't doubt anyone's own experiences for it.

 

Because people suck!

 

Yes, yes they do.
Sadly, Kat has no memes for this...

 

I find it bizarre too. I distinctly remember having my first crush at around the age of seven. And that's probably late.

Maybe it the homosexuality=pedophillia thing and they feel like we're sexualizing children. Obviously that's not the case, kid crushes are generally more innocent than adult ones.
And of course it's the same as all the straight kids with little crushes that everyone is fine with. It's just not logical, orientation is just there in all kids. We only accept one.
That's sad.

 

It's different factors if you ask me, like denial and false assumption in regards to 'fluidity'.

By denial, I mean that the world, being mostly (based on) heteronormative views, is still very much filled with homophobia, transphobia, etc., since most people have been raised to feel that it is not 'normal', leading to so many negative views on it. This causes so many to go to any length they can to get rid of the thought of a possibility, especially when it comes to kids(being known to be able to be influenced more easily otherwise). I think this puts the silly notion in others' minds that, no matter how sure a child may 'feel', it didn't get their by 'natural' means(or so they want to think), at least not yet.

This goes hand-in-hand with the fluidity thing, if you ask me. I'm not necessarily talking about the action itself but, because it is so damn commonly known for 'hormonal' things to happen to (what appears to be) most in their teen-ish years, a misconception turns up that everybody follows that exact same path; a big part of this being about the gender(s) you're attracted to.This makes it easier for said people above to easily write it all off in regards to children and say popular things like 'it's just a phase' or 'you're too young to know such a thing'...some even believing crazy notions like being able to catch/be taught it.

...pretty much refusing to believe the possibility that a child may in fact be aware of their true feelings early/earlier on.

All of that + said kids growing up in a world that is still pretty much against non-straight thinking, causing plenty to try to fight against their feelings/force straight thoughts on themselves(a lot of it being internal conflict that is kept away from everyone while 'closeted') = generally a hot mess of thoughts in regards to what kids may actually be going through, if you ask me.

 

Because adults think they know more than kids do. They believe that kids just come up with silly ideas in their heads and it'll pass with time.

 

Probably because they're jealous of kids being more self aware than they were.

 

Because people always underestimate kids & feel like they can at least control them. It's why so many parents are afraid of the Teen Years. The Kids get out of their net of control...the kids actually form their own real opinions & views.

I'd agree...I pretty much knew from a young age...from around 8-9. And there's no way puberty had kicked in by that point!

 

Because there is a general - although not always acknowledged in more conservative circles - understanding within heterosexual society that everybody maybe curious at some stage, most likely when they are still young and learning. To some extent this is based on fact: straight kids/teens can experience confusing feelings for the same sex which they can misinterpret for sexual or romantic attraction just as gay young people often do with the opposite sex. I used to think that I was attracted to certain boys I was friends with because I liked their personalities but looking back on it as an adult I understand that what I was feeling was more a sense of friendship and respect.

The problem is that because society is conditioned to believe that heterosexuality is the default setting, the advice that gets thrown at young people who just happen to be gay is completely contradictory to the truth. If a child or teenager tries to talk about their feelings they will usually be told the standard response; that they are straight but just going through a phase of attraction to the same sex. But if that particular young person actually IS gay, this thought process is simply damaging rather than helpful. They will grow up trying to force themselves to focus on whatever fleeting attraction they might have for the opposite sex even though in truth THIS is actually the 'just a phase' that they should not invest their long term happiness into, whilst simultaneously ignoring their true feelings for the same sex which they really should be developing. Consequently a great many of us grow up in the closet (even to ourselves) and don't accept who we are until we are old enough and brave enough to acknowledge that the way we were raised to think was wrong.

And for those who are bi, pan, or any more complicated definition of orientation this over-simplification will simply serve to cause even more confusion.

 

Well, if I went by what I felt at 10 or so I'm a straight person. I remember my first crushes being on guys, and it was that way for a long time... certainly all the way through high school.

One thing I dont think I wanted to understand when I was younger is that things arent always as simple as I thought they were, and with the exception of a few things I am a very different person than I was 42years ago.

 

They think it is a passing phase. You know, how they never take kids seriously? How they dismiss what they say as mindless chatter?

 

On the two teen forums I'm on posts are made daily by young teens wondering if they are gay. "I get excited seeing guys in the locker room, does that make me gay?" "I watch gay porn, does that make me gay?" "I want to experiment with my buddy, does that make me gay?". No one ever asks if something makes them straight. And to all of them we (most of us lgbt) say the same thing, "you're only 13/14/15/16, give yourself time to figure out what you are and don't be in a rush to label yourself".

Don't think that's an answer, but that's a difference between a kid thinking they're straight and wondering if they are gay. I still don't know for sure what I am either tbh.

 

In my opinion people say this because kids have no expierience yet... and if you do not expierenced it how can you know?? well, wrong, you do not see 5 years old running around and screaming he is gay. Child is going through puberty (everyone at different age) and starts to be attracted to people. And this means that he knows better how he feels..

 

It's normal for people to believe someone is too young to know.. But for them to say they absolutely cannot know when they are that age is ignorant. Sure kids have wild imaginations and express things openly at younger ages but that doesn't mean they aren't serious in what they say. I knew I liked girls when I was 8 too A girl named Anika won my heart.. we were best friends. She was the cutest girl in my class I swear.

 

I am part of another online forum (not lgbt related) and a woman, who swore she was not at all being homophobic, made a post in which she ranted about an 11 year old who stated he was gay on facebook and she went on and on how she does not understand how it is possible for someone that young to express an orientation. Despite her claim she had nothing against gays, I smelled homophobia because I doubt she would have made that post if the person in question made the proclamation he was straight.

 

It's hard for many in my generation to understand because for many of us, our upbringing was very repressive, and sexuality wasn't always something that was addressed or understood. When I look back on some of the feelings I had I understand NOW that they were crushes on guys. At the time, though, I didn't. I rarely if ever saw my parents kiss each other or show any affection of any kind. Sexuality--gay, straight or otherwise--was not discussed or acknowledged or encouraged. I was a freshman in high school before I was totally clear on the "facts of life" and my first thought was, ick, why would anyone even want to do that? And even at that, I had no concept that thoughts like that were a very clear indication that I was gay until much later.

Because of my own personal evolution over the past few years, I completely understand how someone quite young would have a very clear understanding of their sexuality. But I'm probably not typical of someone in their early 50's as a result. A straight parent who never was confronted with any issues about their own sexuality, who just did what was considered "normal" (i.e. straight) and it worked for them, would have a hard time understanding life being any other way.

I'm not saying that to excuse anyone, just to explain. I think we all have a responsibility to enlighten people who don't get it. There really are kids whose lives are literally at stake.

 

I think it is entirely possible for a child to know who they will like. But for me it wasn't so simple, I knew I was supposed to like girls but I always got crushed of the girls with really short hair and more masculine features. It took me a long time just to accept that I could be gay because I wanted to be "normal" so badly. I wish there would have been better role models on my life on this regard.