Hey, I guess i'll just go straight into it... I know i'm gay but I really don't find the majority of gay people attractive, at all, the effeminate stuff really off puts me, i'm 17 and only one of my friends knows i'm gay because I don't really want a label to define me for something that doesn't characterise me. How am I meant to find guys that aren't obviously gay? I'm not saying I have anything against people that are 'proud' but you don't see straight people celebrating their straightness with a girly parade or whatever... Sorry if this offends anyone Connor
I'm not too hot on campiness or the feminine side of a gay guy either, but I'd never disrespect them for being so. I just find the Graham Norton style just too much.
hey dude! welcome to site!, HAHA, yea i guess that's just one of the perks with the gay community that is. i mean if you don't find the "feminine" types all that attractive then it's just not your type of guy. i can definitely understand. i guess for me, i just describe them as materialistic because they are very keen on their appearance and keep up with the fashions and all that type of stuff. you can't really say they're the majority of the gay community because there's also the regular/normal types or even the "bear,cubs, and wolves oh my" types(yea you can google those terms if you want). a lot of people can have misconceptions about homosexuality. it depends on where you live. i mean i can really encourage you to open your mind and ideas and try going with lgbt type of events, it could be with your school, that is if you still go. you can find other types of men that don't have an obvious gay stamp on their head, and i know for a fact that not a lot of them are the same way. by the end of the day, you don't need to put a label on yourself because it doesn't need to define you as a person. you are you. you can say you're gay, it's just another part of who you are. it's not always necessary to make it a declaration. it's understandable on how you feel about it.
Thanks for your reply Bolt, yeah I get you, I follow fashion but the same fashion as straight guys I guess... I understand people have their 'types' that they go for, but I'd be more up for just a relationship with someone who acts like a guy (I guess i'm gay because I fancy guys not girly guys haha) I live in an area that isn't very accepting of gay people, even my parents talk about how wrong it is. Besides I'm in quite a small school, like 600 pupils maybe. I know people who are gay and I know how all the people at school talk about them behind their backs and I'd rather people didn't talk about me because I have other things to worry about (like education haha) I can't see myself as being one of the 'out there' gay people that go to events etc, but thanks so much for your reply ---------- Post added 10th Apr 2014 at 12:02 AM ---------- and Joe I understand yeah, I'm not the type to judge people, but I find guys that even pout in pictures so off putting, like if they do 1 thing feminine it makes me feel like i'd rather not, I guess that's my preference, however shallow it sounds
I like some of the fem types, but honestly it's manly men that really get me going, for but not super buff, I don't like the super buff guys.
^ ---------- Post added 10th Apr 2014 at 12:37 AM ---------- Is it strange that I'm gay but only find guys that act real straight attractive? I don't understand guys that fake tan/dye their hair/pout/just have that feminine look
My problem is simialar:I dont like almost any gay guys so idk how to deal with it... I love affection but straight people say all gays is do this and do that and most gay guys do do that like im good with crossdreesing and all that i just dont like how they put their words together NOBODY BE OFFENDED PLEASE!:tantrum:
That's the reason I wouldn't want to come out to everyone because the stereotype is far from who I am haha
i mean think of it this way Connor. of course the decision to coming out is really up to you. it's totally cool that you choose not to at the moment. as you can tell, i'm somewhat the same way. i did come out the closet though. it just helps people stop perpetuating stereotypes so much, especially on guys like us that aren't the way people perceive. there are a few benefits of coming out the closet, can't say the same for everyone in different situations and problems. like i said dude, you don't need to put the label on yourself, and you don't need to live up to the steretotypes.
You do realize you don't have to live up to the stereotypes, right? A lot of guys who come out and end up acting fem aren't just doing it because they feel like they have to to be gay, they're usually just freeing their true selves up after trying to hide said behavior back for their own reasons. If you come out, you could help show that there is just as much diversity among gay guys as anyone else by just continuing to be yourself(which is non-stereotypical) and that not everyone has the stereotypes in them, though there's nothing wrong with those that do. Btw, correct me if I'm wrong but, by pouting are you talking about the duck lips thing? If you mean that, plenty of straight guys do that kind of stuff as well, usually in a goofing off manner. I doubt there are many guys out there that don't do some silly things like it from time to time just in the name of fun.
