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Crush on a boy who bullied me?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by HuskyPup, Apr 11, 2014.

  1. HuskyPup

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    I wonder if that has happened to anyone else.

    In the 8th grade, there was a boy I was friends with on a casual basis, and had thought was cute. Then, he got these new friends, and after that, things changed rapidly. I started to get bullied by him, verbally, and physically for the rest of that year. I was too scared to ever do anything about it.

    What was the oddest thing, is that summer vacation, and over many years, I used to have dreams about that boy, and how we'd become friends. Few dreams have ever felt better. We'd tough each other gently, kiss, wrestle playfully, tickle, lick, and do more graphic things; often, I'd wake up, expecting to find him there in bed, beside me. In the dreams, there was really no 'passive' or 'dominant' person, it was like we both had this deep emotional/sexual bond, and it approximated a feeling of pure joy.

    Maybe this was a way of reversing what had been a traumatic situation, a way in which I could transform it into something else. Luckily, our school was big...it had 750 students per grade, and by 9th grade, I never really saw him, or else, he'd forgot.

    What was the freakiest thing is that when I went to Michigan State for college, he lived down the hall...in the same dorm. We looked at each other, but as if we'd never met.

    And I still get those dreams, many years later.

    Has anyone else ever had anything like this happen, even remotely???
     
  2. Techno Kid

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    Do you feel good/happy about these dreams, Husky? Or do you think there is a problem with having them?

    I think these dreams might just be you imagining what life would be like if the two of you never "grow apart." I honestly think they sound like really really cute dreams... ^__^

    I have never had a positive dream about a bully though. : 3
     
  3. HuskyPup

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    Yes, I do feel very good in these dreams, and they don't seem to be a problem. At first, I felt really strange about them afterwards, but now, it seems to make sense. It's odd, how even a long time later, in my mind, I'm still the same age, having this same experience.

    It's not that I like bullies, or to be abused, the dream is mainly one that as you say seems to imagine that we never grew apart, but closer. I always suspected that maybe there was some sense that he sensed I liked him, and maybe he liked me, but was afraid. I never did see him with a girlfriend, but that never means too much! Ah, well...it's just odd, how the mind stores and rearranges our memories like it does.
     
  4. AudreyB

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    Do you know where he's at now? Or do you think you maybe "detected" something about him, which is why you fantasized?
     
  5. HuskyPup

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    You know, I did peek about online, but didn't come up with anything conclusive. But one does wonder.