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Do people notice your gay crushes or relationships?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by ChromeNerd, Apr 19, 2014.

  1. ChromeNerd

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    It seems like people always notice when straight people have a crush on someone. Same with relationships. No one seems to notice my gay crushes. That is one reason why I enjoy being gayish. I hate the idea of people knowing who I have a crush on. Most of my crushes are super embarrassing.
     
  2. Munyal

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    Lol I tell my friends because I can so easily tell who they like. They feel out of the loop if I don't tell them.
     
  3. all paths

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    Really good question.

    It's something I wonder in retrospect because I've been in the closet (both to myself, and everyone else) for so long, and yet I've had numerous gay crushes. lol (I just didn't know that's what they were until I realized about myself.)

    So when I look back and see what I know now to be all of these retrospectively gay crushes, I do wonder if those closest in my life wondered about them, or if, like me at the time, they simply saw them as some different animal altogether - because of the lens through which they were interpreting it.

    Like me, being in denial or doubt that I was gay, those people in my life were possibly likely to interpret my crushes as just simply strong friendship attractions, or admiration. Or, platonic crushes.


    I think it depends on the viewer's comfort level with viewing you or the attraction as "gay."

    If they're really uncomfortable seeing it that way, you could probably literally be kissing your crush in front of them and they wouldn't see it. lol

    If they *are* comfortable with the idea of you being possibly gay or having a same-sex attraction, then they're more likely to see it for what it is, I think.


    But I'll be interested to hear from others (like allies) who've witnessed friends/family have same sex attractions chime in on this. :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 19th Apr 2014 at 09:36 PM ----------

    You know I also wonder if it has to do with how we still feel like we need to "hide" the obvious signs of our gay crushes & likings. In society, I mean.

    I'll bet a lot of us are just so habituated to hiding it, out of fear, that we still really keep it under subterfuge, if at all possible. :icon_sad:
     
  4. Cass

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    Me personally I think no because I'm not really out so I hide it
    But I can always tell when my gay friends have crushes
     
  5. CuriousArticles

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    No one ever notices any of my crushes. Ever. I don't think it has anything directly to do with sexuality at all. I think some people are just more obvious is how they behave around people they like, and some are more careful (although if you're in the closet you may also be more careful about things showing). I'm the same in that I don't like people knowing who I like - it is SO embarrassing. But at the same time, it's really hard work if you want your crush to notice, and I for one am way too much of a wimp to say anything 100% of the time. Would kind of be useful... I've tried to make it obvious and it doesn't work either. I have to tell people and I hate it.
     
  6. ChromeNerd

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    I think it's mostly related to expectations. When I talk to guys around my age people sometimes assume that I have a crush on him. When I obsess over a girl usually nobody notices. They might notice if I'm extremely obsessed or out to them.
     
  7. Kreiger

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    Only one of my friends has picked up on who I have crush on, luckily. Most people can't even tell I'm gay, much less who I'm interested in.
     
  8. Jethro702

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    If only people would, but sadly no one in real life knows about my sexuality yet.. so my "crushes" are voiced or hinted at publicly. I just have to keep them to myself at the moment.
     
  9. Soaring

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    I think people can tell when I have a gay crush. That might actually be why everyone assumes I'm a lesbian since at my new school I've only really had a big crush on one girl so far and no guys. I actually like that my friends seem to be able to tell. Some of them just make this "you totally like her" face when I mention her name or they make comments that suggest it. Others just straight out tell me that they ship us and I need to go out with her. I think there's one friend that might actually think my crush and I are already going out.... Anyways it makes me happy because it all just reminds me that now I'm in a place where people support me being queer.
     
  10. BelleFromHell

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    I've never had a relationship before, straight or gay, so people tend to assume I'm just lone-wolfin' it instead of gay.

    As for my crush, I like to keep to myself, so no.
     
  11. Laelia

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    Yes. Well, my sister has always guessed correctly (the few times I've had a crush on someone).

    No one else can tell.
     
  12. anniebunnie

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    When I was with my exgf everyone knew and would look at us..bc she's like an out going jock and everyone loves her. They all thought we were really cute, but the attention made me uncomfortable cuz I'm somewhat shy.
     
  13. Agaetis Byrjun

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    I had a boss notice me crushing on another girl when I just thought I was asexual. I didn't believe her at the time, but I didn't believe her that I'd like going blonde either... She was right about EVERYTHING.
     
  14. Azumarion

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    My friends can always tell who I currently having a crush on. I dunno, maybe it's some kind of friend instinct lol.
     
  15. valerie247

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    I don't think I'm obvious, but apparently people do notice. The only 4 friends I am out to were pretty nonchalant about it and said they already knew. They also knew the girl I was into. And I'm in a hetero marriage, so they have every reason to assume I'm straight, yet they still knew.

    There was one friend I had before I got married that knew also. I was still in denial at the time, so her assertions that I was a lesbian made me very uncomfortable. I must not hide it as well as I thought.
     
  16. IsThisAName

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    No, but I'm only out to a handful of friends. My friends who don't know I'm gay don't say anything about who they think I crush on. We don't really talk about that stuff anyway, it's kinda amateur in my opinion.
     
  17. BornAnew

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    I'm extremely good at hiding crushes & prefer to have them secret lol!

    My past relationship was quite open though (we made it quite obvious to be fair lol), people definitely noticed!
     
  18. kageshiro

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    If they do they dont say much