My ftm friend continues to think he knows everything about being transgender. Today we were talking and he said that trans people can't be gay and are rarely bisexual. He claimed that trans people that are gay are just saying they are trans to be cool and aren't really trans. Says that they don't even transition so they can't be trans. Several things bothered me about this. Not every trans person transitions, sure most do, but not all do, and I don't think being trans has anything to do with sexual orientation. Honestly! This really bugs me. He continues to be a know-it-all and I'm sorry for ranting. This is the second time I've mentioned something he's said on here. I would try to teach him that what he's saying isn't really all that true, but he doesn't listen to me. Anyway, ranting aside, I wanted to know what people's thoughts are about this? Also any advice about dealing with my friend? He's just frustrating me! (side note: I hope I posted this in the right section.)
It sounds like he might just be talking from his own experiences. Did you try to back up what you're saying with evidence (Wikipedia is a wonderful thing, you know?) Definitions from Wikipedia can help a lot. I mean... it just makes sense that being transgender would have no effect on your sexual orientation. Gender and sexuality can be two very different things. Does he understand the difference between the two? Definitely an annoying situation if he continues to not listen. :bang: I'm with you on this - he's just plain incorrect, haha.
He told me once that wikipedia is not a good source for information so that's out of the question :/ And I don't think he understands the difference between the two. And he just won't listen to evidence because "he knows everything". ---------- Post added 22nd Apr 2014 at 03:36 AM ---------- I agree that he's probably taking from his own experiences.
You can try some more to enlighten him, but you'll probably just get frustrated like me. :lol: Live and let live, I suppose?
To be fair, I don't really blame him for not trusting wikipedia on it, but it;s not like their are other sources. THe thing is he CLEARLY hasn't met a hell of a lot of trans people. If it bothers you, by all means try and change his mind, but if not, ditch him, ignore him and wait for him to eventually meet somebody as big and threatening as me who is definitely trans and definitely pan-sexual and see how he gets on
I don't want to derail the entire thread, but in the past four years, Wikipedia has really gotten a good team of a thousands of editing moderators together. They make sure that all changes made are factual. Back when I was in elementary school, it was definitely not trustworthy, but nowadays I'd say it is. I'm sure there are bad articles still out there, but the mainstream ones like definitions of sexuality terms are so high-traffic that they definitely have them locked down.
You can't reason with some people. You can try of course, but if they have 'one of those heads' on, you could take a crowbar to it and not get through. I use Wiki loads btw.
Yeah you can see it in like the talk section of an article. People really tryin to make sure everything's right and make the article good in general. And there's also sources. That's why i think it's really unfair that some people think wiki ain't trustworthy.
I will try my best to change his mind. I can't even think of ditching him because I'm living in his house. I wish there were more people nearby me to help convince him. If there were more people with me, I feel like I'd be able to convince him. I wish I could have you or someone else help me convince him in person.
Wowwwww... Sounds to me like he isn't a very secure person. Only insecure people judge other people as not (insert identity adjective here) enough. Maybe he's afraid of not being 100% straight, maybe he's afraid of not being masculine enough, or maybe he's just got underlying homophobia issues. I will admit that gay transguys use to bother me... until I was on a forum with one gay guy who was picked on for it. Before I even had time to remember that it weirded me out, I reacted to defend him because discrimination is always wrong. Finally, I wrote a love story and went "ah, that's totally normal, too!" Maybe have him read some stories/ webcomics or something so he understands that a gay trans* person is no different than a cis* one. Maybe go for a lesbian story first since straight guys tend to be more lenient toward women... Tough situation. Sorry, mate. :icon_sad:
I agree that he's probably not a very secure person. I don't think he's afraid of not being 100% straight because he DEFINITELY likes women and not men. Not being masculine enough though might be a fear of his though. I don't think he's homophobic. He doesn't have a problem with me dating his best friend. And since I'm not out as being agender to him (for reasons of him not knowing a lot about genderqueer identities and being a know it all), that would be considered a same-sex relationship to him. And he's very supportive of gay, lesbian, and bi people. I could try to get him to read up on some webcomics or stories about gay trans people. I don't know if I can get him to read them, but I can at least try.
Plenty of trans people are gay, you see them everywhere on EC. The few trans women I know in real life are straight, but that's not to say they reflect everybody.
