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Heterosexual Questionnaire

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Micah, Apr 8, 2007.

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  1. Micah

    Micah
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    I found this on myspace, and thought it was rather amusing, yet insightful:



    HETEROSEXUAL QUESTIONNAIRE

    1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

    2. When and how did you decide you were a heterosexual?

    3. Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase that you may grow out of?

    4. Is it possible that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

    5. If you have never slept with a person of the same sex, is it possible that all you need is a good gay lover?

    6. Do your parents know that you are straight? Do your friends and/or roommates know?

    7. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can't you just be who you are and keep it quiet?

    8. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

    9. Why do heterosexuals feel so compelled to introduce others to their lifestyle?

    10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual teachers?

    11. Just what do men and women do in bed together? How can they truly know how to please each other, being so anatomically different?

    12. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships between heterosexuals?

    13. Statistics show that lesbians have the lowest of sexually transmitted disease. Is it really safe for a woman to maintain a heterosexual lifestyle and run the risk of disease and pregnancy?

    14. How can you expect to become a whole person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive heterosexuality?

    15. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?

    16. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don't you feel that (s)he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of his/her own orientation?

    17. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you change if you really want to. Have you ever considered aversion therapy?

    18. Would you want your child to be heterosexual, knowing the problems (s)he would face?
     
    #1 Micah, Apr 8, 2007
  2. CM1989

    CM1989
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    Whow knows in the future the tides will change and herterosexual people will be in the same situation as we are.
     
    #2 CM1989, Apr 8, 2007
  3. tinkerbell

    tinkerbell
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    I couldn't help it and started laughing, especially at the "how do you know it's not a phase?" "why do you flaunt it?" "would you want your child to be heterosexual?"
     
    #3 tinkerbell, Apr 8, 2007
  4. Micah

    Micah
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    I don't really know why, but I think my favourite is:
    It really makes you think.
     
    #4 Micah, Apr 8, 2007
  5. dfgnan21

    dfgnan21
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    Good find Dave!

    Reminds me of once when I was asked "when did you know you were gay?" and I said "well, when did you know you were straight?" It's interesting to make people think.
     
    #5 dfgnan21, Apr 8, 2007
  6. Kimi

    Kimi
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    1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

    Uh........................God?

    LOL
     
    #6 Kimi, Apr 8, 2007
  7. xequar

    xequar
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    :lol: :lol: That is some first rate material there!
     
    #7 xequar, Apr 9, 2007
  8. GuitarGirl1350

    GuitarGirl1350
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    Oh lordy! I think I almost lost bladder control at that thing!
     
    #8 GuitarGirl1350, Apr 9, 2007
  9. Jamie

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    that's pretty damn good, good find dave
     
    #9 Jamie, Apr 9, 2007
  10. Sam

    Sam
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    hahahaha thats great I love it especially the how do you know you are heterosexual? because people ask me all the time how I know that I like girls and about being heterosexual being a phase truly great whoever came up with this is so funny thank you for sharing it I needed to laugh!
     
    #10 Sam, Apr 9, 2007
  11. ampthejazz

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    I got that on a handout at a GSA convention in my town earlier in the year. I love it.
     
    #11 ampthejazz, Apr 9, 2007
  12. tired_of_lying411

    tired_of_lying411
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    "Is it safe to expose our children to heterosexual teachers?"
    LOL... OMG This is great. Anyone who asks these kinds of questions to gay people should read this... hahaha. Would definitely make them think about how stupid their questions are...

    Reminds me of how I got my dad to understand when I came out to him:
    "How do you KNOW? What if you tried it with a girl? There's NO WAY you know you don't like girls, son"
    "Okay, dad. Say this really hot guy comes strutting in here and slaps you on the ass and requests that you join him in the bedroom. How could you possible turn him down, having no evidence that you won't have a good time?"

    Suffice to say, that was the end of that. :lol:
     
    #12 tired_of_lying411, Apr 9, 2007
  13. GuitarGirl1350

    GuitarGirl1350
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    HAHAHAA that generally ends it all.
    I did it to my mom.
     
    #13 GuitarGirl1350, Apr 10, 2007
  14. mnguy

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    Yes, this is very good. You could also add that the majority of murderers and rapists are hetero so should they be allowed to roam free in society?

    If anyone ever asks me how I know I'm gay I've gotta use some of these on them. :lol:
     
    #14 mnguy, Apr 10, 2007
  15. Double Dubya

    Double Dubya
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    I love it! My favorite is number 11. Just what do men and women do in bed together? How can they truly know how to please each other, being so anatomically different?
    It must be like a guessing game
     
    #15 Double Dubya, Apr 12, 2007
  16. Freak4Life

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    :lol: OMG this is class!

    My favourite though has to be ''Do your parents know that you are straight? Do your friends and/or roommates know?'' :lol: :lol:
     
    #16 Freak4Life, Apr 13, 2007
  17. Steam Giant

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    Those are my favorites, heheh. Since I haven't come out yet, and I'm not gay, I can't relate to these on a personal level, but I can at least comprehend how ridiculous the accusations are. Plus, hearing things like these (well, the homosexual versions) from my friends who think me to be straight, or particularly when they complain to me about these "facts," really gets under my skin. Thankfully, I've become an expert at wearing a mask in front of them....
     
    #17 Steam Giant, Apr 13, 2007
  18. GoodOlMe

    GoodOlMe
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    Now if you replace heterosecuality with homosexuality this would be my answer:

    No, probably from the fact that they make me insanely horny haha
     
    #18 GoodOlMe, Apr 13, 2007
  19. GuitarGirl1350

    GuitarGirl1350
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    a. because it's fun.
     
    #19 GuitarGirl1350, Apr 14, 2007
  20. Miaplacidus

    Miaplacidus
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    I seriously think that we gay people will end up preventing overpopulation by not having children. That is, in my humble opinion, our natural role (that implies that homosexuality is natural)

    Back to the subject... LMAO
     
    #20 Miaplacidus, Apr 20, 2007
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