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Coping Mechanisms

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Gen, Apr 23, 2014.

  1. Gen

    Gen
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    Recently, I'd been giving some thought to the ways that I cope with the negative emotions I experience in life. I think I've noticed a few processes that have become instinctive to me and find identifying these things fascinating. Anyway, I though it would be interesting if we all shared some of the ways we cope with various emotions and it would only make sense if I went first.

    Sadness: Let's just get the worst out of the way early one. First, this is when I turn to my playlist of favorite dramatic instrumentals. It sounds depressing to listen to mournful music when feeling down, but for some reason it is comforting to me when I listen to music that expresses my exact mood. Secondly, which is the most stereotypical coping mechanism I find myself turning to as a writer, I write. In an interview, J.K. Rowling said that she never imagined any of the characters in Harry Potter dying until her mother died and that always resonated with me. It is not exactly the case with me at all; I frequently decide when a tragedy will occur in my writing on wonderful days, but it's only when I'm in a low mood that I get inspired to write the darker lines and description that would adequately express the weight on a tragic scene.

    Stress: Ironically, I don't cope with stress by relaxing. I cope with stress by working harder. I wouldn't say that it is necessarily the most favorable coping mechanism, but I've found that I'm never truly at peace until I am completely over the obstacle I am faced with. Otherwise, I will be endlessly tense.

    Anger: Anger is probably the emotion that I have the easiest time dealing with because I am naturally a very calm person. There is always something better to do in place of a drawn out, unnecessary argument with someone, so when things get heated I often express my complete thoughts and swiftly remove myself from the situation. Afterwards, this is when I turn to my personal playlist of "Fuck You" songs. There is nothing better than a screw the world song when you want to do nothing more than just that. Then, likewise, I get inspired for the arguments and heated dialogues within my story.

    Fear/Anxiety: I cope with fear and anxiety by attempting to rationalize the situation as much as possible. It's difficult to explain because I have overcome much of the anxiety I previously dealt with. Additionally, I was very athletic in my early childhood, then become completely uninterested in sports, but continued to suffer through daily cardio for health and overall appearance. Point being, I learned to control my heart rate and relax my respiratory system as a child and found it to be very helpful when dealing with nerves or fear. I never scream, however, which could be either beneficial or negative if my life were ever threatened. :lol:

    These four are the only ones that have dawned on me so far.
     
  2. PatrickUK

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    Bereavement: I'd say talking definitely helped me deal with loss arising from bereavement. When so many people tip-toed around the subject and tried to distract me and take my mind off it, it was refreshing - liberating even - to actually sit with someone who would let me be with my emotions. The hurt, anger, sadness, loneliness and numbness actually subsided when I was given permission to confront the reality of these feelings and have a damn good cry and swear. I didn't want distraction, I wanted to feel, and talk about the people I'd lost. It was only then I could really begin to move on from it.

    The other thing I did was to ask myself what the person who died would want me to do now. In every case wallowing in grief was not the answer. I always came back with the conclusion that I should live my life and live it more fully than ever. When I have weak days, when my motivation is low, I always come back to that thought. What would Mum or Michelle expect me to do? It's a powerful thing for me.

    Stress: I'm dealing with a lot of this right now actually (or trying to). When I'm stressed I need quiet time and I need places to go where I can retreat into quietness and stillness. I'll usually light a candle and focus on the flame as it flickers and burns and just take some time out. Lighting the candle has become almost symbolic with "burning away" stress and I'll pray and try to practice mindfulness in those quiet moments.

    When I'm stressed I clean and exercise a lot more, starve myself of sugar and cut right back on alcohol, which really acts as a depressant for me.

    Finally, I have my quotations, speeches and lines from songs (one of which is my signature) to fall back on for inspiration.

    --

    It's interesting what you say about music Gen. The accepted wisdom is to listen to mood lifting music, but you're not the first person to tell me they do the opposite and go with the mood for a while.
     
  3. Gen

    Gen
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    Cleaning and exercise definitely help me with stress as well. With bereavement, I feel that talking about it is much more beneficial to everyone, but we are taught to walk around the situation as a social construct. You have to get everything out before you can truly come to terms with tragic losses and move on from them.

    I believe that it is similar to dealing with grief. When I feel low and listen to uplifting music it makes me feel as though I am attempting to lift myself up without first confronting and finding peace with the emotions that I'm dealing with. I can listen to uplifting music once I feel myself inching my way into a better mood, but at the heart of the sadness , I just have to give myself to time to be in that mood for a bit.
     
  4. drwinchester

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    Anxiety- For some reason, I find myself rubbing my thumb in circles on my arm when my anxiety flares up. Just kinda one of those weird, comforting behaviors, I dunno. But yeah, sometimes I'll do manual work. Cleaning, pushing something around. Have to keep my hands busy. And the more mindless, the better. If I've gotta focus, backfires.

    Depression/grief- Gotta be alone when it hits hard. I'll listen to music/read/play a freaking video game. Doesn't matter. But don't like talking, being around other people.

    Day my dad died, I remember just standing in the kitchen. People were bringing food and man. They were bringing a lot of fucking brownies. I just sat there and blindly ate whatever fucking thing I could get my hands on. Ate like half a pan of brownies.

    And when my dysphoria gets really bad or mom gets after me, same thing. Gotta eat down shitty feelings.

    Stress- Work through the issue. Or just slam whatever it is down and find something else to work on. Sometimes, I'll just up and walk the dog if I'm stressed/pissed enough.
     
  5. KyleCats

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    Anger: This one I still don't know how to cope with. I've been angry for a very long time. It was utterly consuming me. In fact, trying to figure out why I was so angry is kind of what led me here. I'm not so full of rage since I came here. I don't wake up angry anymore. But I can still feel it just under the surface. Hoping it stays away for a while.

    Depression: Art helps sometimes. Connecting with nature helps all the time. Especially if it's raining. I like to go outside and watch the birds and just listen to the rainfall.

    Anxiety: Remove myself from the situation if I can. If not, detach from it mentally. When I'm feeling anxious but I'm alone I try to distract myself with music or video games. Lately I've been walking and exercising, which helps a lot.

    Helplessness: The best thing I can do is hug my cats. I know they love me unconditionally.