How did you deny your sexuality?

I allways had a suspicion that I liked men but I blocked it out until I was 27. I just sometimes not lie about but decisive people whith the truth like I told my grandmother that I wasn't gay which is the truth because I'm bi. I just don't bring the conversation up now

 

I figured I'd find the 'right one' sooner or later.

 

Never outright denied it. Genuinely didn't understand it for awhile. But then I did and then boysexyay

 

I just told myself I was straight. It made absolutely no logical sense, which is how I came to my senses; it's hard to think something you know is wrong while having hourly reminders.

 

I'm still denying it...

 

This is a really great question. And I am going to have to get back to it when I am more awake.

 

I lied and faked interest in girls all through high school. Had no one special in my life until my mid to late 20's. Finally came out in late 2005 after I met my ex.

 

Ha, basically all of this but add about 5 years to the timeframe; teenage me was dumb.

I guess I sort of always subconsciously knew, but I hated the idea of it so I never acknowledged it.

 

I didn't need to deny it until I was in my twenties. I honestly believed I was straight and that someday I'll meet the right guy and it will make sense. Then I found myself wondering about women and it freaked me out and I told myself I imagined the whole thing and I don't really want it. I also started watching a lot of movies with girl on girl romance and tried to convince myself it wasn't odd at all for a straight person to do that. Then I started dating guys, I thought if I got a boyfriend, it would make all the confusion in my head go away and I wouldn't think about it anymore. That didn't work as I planned, although I ended up thinking I was bi for a long time. It was easier to accept at the time I guess.

 

I didn't so much deny it as I just didn't address it. I got with my first girlfriend when I was 20, then married sometime later. We were together until I was 32 and had kids.

Throughout that whole time, I tried not to think about it too much, although if I saw a guy I liked, I would just look away quickly. I didn't do that with girls though, as it's generally considered ok to do that (as long as you don't touch, at the same time I didn't mind her looking at guys either, as long as she was faithful).

So I think, not having to really think and deal with it, I never fully understood and embraced it. It was only after we separated and the possibility of meeting new people arose, that I started exploring the issue more and finally accepted that I was bi.

Happy days

 

I told myself that I just really LIKE some girls, as friends. That they are pretty or very kind... and I just feel some kind of "friendly affection" towards them.

 

I never denied it. I remember when I was around 13 I was looking at gay porn and I thought I LOVE THIS and I am not ashamed.
But in high school I had doubts because I also had feelings for girls. By the time I was 19 I was sure I was gay.

 

When I first discovered I liked guys I tested myself with some gay porn and unfortunately I liked it.
So I panicked and completely ignored it and blamed it on my lack of popularity and really wanted a girlfriend and felt like saying "she's hot" everytime I saw a cute girl, you know, to prove to others around me (and maybe to myself) that I weren't gay.
After a couple of years, still no girlfriend, the 'gay phase' restarted and when I saw guys I'd promise myself it was 'just this once' and then I felt guilty and disgusting.
Then I completely repressed it and identified myself as asexual - for a year or two.
Then I accidentally sucked a guy and discovered I liked it
Then I said that it was 'just this guy' and that if I never talk about it it's like it never happened.
Then I met my gay friends who taught me that it's ok to like guys and that I wasn't alone and I gradually started accepting it and I'm still exploring my sexuality.

 

I always knew I didn't like boys, and I was fine with that. But I could not accept that I liked girls, so I told myself I was asexual and wrote off my feelings for girls as feelings of friendship. This worked for about 10 years until I developed a huge crush on this one girl, whom I would always imagine in romantic/sexual situations.:icon_redf At that point, I just couldn't ignore it anymore.

 

I just didn't notice. As a teenager I had these emotional and intellectual crushes on male fictional characters and occasionally writers, and that was enough to make me believe I was not gay. I find it hard to know the difference between what's real and imagined any more.

 

I grew up in a small town. There 2 other gay guys in my school. One liked to cross dress and the other was very stereotypical, since I wasn't like them at all, I figured I couldn't be gay

 

How do you accidentally do this?

 

My family never talked about sex or feelings, and was not physically affectionate with one another. I knew I was fascinated with guys but in my teens, I assumed everyone felt that way and for some reason I just hadn't met a girl who was right for me. When I met a guy in college who I was attracted to, I thought, perhaps I'm just bi, and when I met my wife and actually DID have complicated feelings for her, I assumed I could just move into a straight life and the feelings I had for guys would just wither away over time and blow away....because isn't that what happens? :dry: Yeah, that worked out well.

 

Hahaha. I picked the tiniest, most girlish boy in my grade (2nd) and walked up to him (towering over him) and told him that we were "going out." I think out of fear, he agreed. And then I chased some other boys who wouldn't pass him the ball in soccer until they ran screaming from the schoolyard. We forgot about it over the weekend. I did the same thing in 3rd grade only I picked the most popular boy because it allowed me to reign as supreme dictator over the class. I then tossed him aside after I had consolidated my power, and maintained a fawning flock of girls who traveled with me like a creepy primary school harem. :roflmao: That was the last attempt that I made (aged 8). People should be glad that I'm not a straight woman because I'd be like a dominatrix. :lol: