Bisexuality and feminism

What if a woman objectified you?

 

I'm not bi, but I understand what you mean, and I totally feel yeah on the not being butch thing. I'm not very lady like in the way I act, but I look fairly girly.

Lesbian/bisexual femmes tend to be viewed as sluts who will sleep with anyone, which is one reason why I'm in the closet.

Whenever a guy hits on me, I just tell him I'm not interested in dating anyone right now. That's not a lie, but still... I wish I could accept being lesbian.

 

Lol. You're going to be objectified no matter your orientation by all genders.

 

Maybe my logic is off, but butch women would get as objectified by men, just as an undesirable object.

Feminism is a really nuanced subject. Personally, I feel that the heart of the matter is the freedom of women to pursue any avenue of life they want, and bisexuality should be included.

 

Is that a double standard, somehow rooted in your values? Or is it just your preference for women?

 

Sounds like it's more your feelings than it is your values then. Of course you're free to hold whatever values you want. I don't think anyone really likes being objectified, I know I don't, regardless of gender. I, like most others, enjoy being appreciated a bit, but not to the point of objectification.
And if you are bi, you could choose to only date women...

Also, do you think it's objectification, or general romantic/sexual attention from men that bothers you?

 

Don't get into a relationship that denigrates you. No matter what the gender of your partner. Not all men will objectify you. They're out there, I promise.

 

Being a lesbian wouldn't save you from objectification if you're pretty and feminine. Just saying. In fact lesbians are even more of a fetish to men than bisexuals. The best thing you can do is try to avoid people who make you uncomfortable.

 

I don't "want" to be bisexual either but I am. And do I get hit on and stuff by creepy men? Damn right I do. Do I get hot on by creepy women? Not as often but yes. Why? Because some people are creepy. I'm for women's equality but feminism itself is just too much for me. To each their own and all.

But seriously, I dislike when people say they choose not to be bisexual. Choose not to act on it but attraction isn't a choice anymore than being gay

 

Amen

 

I have been thinking the same thing. This is coming after a period when I got hit on a lot, mostly when walking to my work but also at work. I found it really offensive. I had a friend who encouraged me to take it as a compliment or ignore them, but I couldn't do it. It changed the way I reacted to my then-fiancé's attempts at compliments, it made them meaningless and annoying. But the relationship was already disintegrating anyway.

I noticed later when I went to Texas for the summer that I am still totally repulsed by men's advances towards me. Like one time when a group of us were going out, and some guy was making sexual comments towards the three of us. I guess it seemed good-humored to them, I said back that I am not a territory to be conquered, and they disagreed with me. And this confuses me about hetero interactions. A lot of women seem to invite and enjoy these interactions that I just find offensive.

So I am questioning myself. Am I repulsed and offended because of my past experiences and feminist attitude? Or, if I were actually straight or bi, is this something that I would have gotten past and be able to enjoy? It's gotten to the point where I find myself getting nervous around certain types of men, but once I can talk to them enough to get to know them a little I can get over it.

So yeah your observation makes a lot of sense, and at least I find it hard to know: what's my actual attractions and repulsions, and what's just my principles reacting?

 

ok...now this might sound like it flies in the face of my own self-proclaimed feminism...but really?

I am 100% feminism, equality-based and against objectification...even though I am well aware that I still do it from time to time I am working on it

but you really are totally fine if a woman objectifies you but if a guy does it then it's bad?

that's just wild to me

While I totally agree that men are generally the issue, that's such a double standard you presented

 

I consider myself a feminist because I believe in equality and because in the past and present women have been oppressed by men and that is terrible. But, I think I find myself more firmly located in a third-wave feminism which has more to do with equality across categorical lines than it does with just equality for women, which I highly value. That being said, being bi has no bearing on whether or not you should allow oppression or objectification in your life in any way. Every person has value whether they are cis-male, cis-female, agender, transgender, genderfluid, genderqueer, or something else altogether. Feminism is a great start towards equality, but, in my opinion, does not have a big enough scope in it's purely second-wave (think 80's feminism) form.

Moral of the story: hahaha, don't let anybody objectify you for any reason. Feminism, IMHO, is about retaining and reclaiming your power and value.

Your friend and fellow feminist (lol),

Motto

 

This is the kind of feminism I don't really like. This whole loathing of men. Men are 50% of the population that is a enormous number of people. To generalise like that about men is ridiculous. There exist men who are arseholes and those who are nice. You just have to stay away from the arseholes.

 

I wonder if It's because lesbian relationships are generally more fluid with gender and sexual roles? So being objectified by a man feels worse since hetero relationships are more rigid?