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What Are Your Thoughts On These "Reasons Someone Is LGBTQ"?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by bisexualkpopfan, Apr 26, 2014.

  1. Hey guys, so I am just wondering - I have heard SO many other older and Christian people that I'm surrounded by saying that this and that causes someone to be gay and I really would like you guys opinions on this because I honestly think that all these reasons doesn't cause someone to be gay, but what do you think? Do any of these things really have an affect on your orientation? I would think not, but here goes nothing. These are from a website called sorrowhearts, though these have been mentioned on plenty of other websites too.

    And they say these exact thing causes someone to be gay (specifically lesbian):

    "Physical trauma, including but not limited to:
    Sexual abuse
    Incest
    Rape
    Neglect

    Emotional trauma, including but not limited to:
    Abandonment
    Rejection
    Unmet needs for love, acceptance, gender identification and validation
    Absence of nurturing
    Lack of protection
    Verbal abuse
    Skewed or unhealthy parental roles
    Mom-Fails to fulfill her role as nurturer & Dad-Fails to protect by being passive and/or unavailable (for girls who are LGBTQ)"

    Some also say that an early interest in sex and seeing porn at a young age can also have a part in your orientation. I don't know how they come to that conclusion, but that's what they say so yeah... They also say for males that not getting along with your same sex peers or father is a cause for gay males.

    They also say that lesbians see being a woman as threat and a bad thing.

    I did not say I agree with any of this and I believe that you can experience these things, but it could have nothing to do with who you like.

    And technically, if those things could cause homosexuality, then the same thing, just vice versa, would be the cause of heterosexuality, right? I mean, if a girl could be a lesbian because she didn't have a good enough mother, what if a girl connected with her mother more was the reason she was straight? Because seriously, so many more straight people have been abused too, and although that is something that causes a lot of damage and is painful, it didn't affect who they liked, so to speak.

    I don't know, I would just like to hear from you if any of these things you personally feel that has something to do with your orientation or not.

    For me, my attraction for girls isn't something that feels like it stems from brokenness or anything, but it just feels right. This is probably how all of you feel too, but I was just wondering what you think about these reasons! I didn't mean to offend anyone though, because I don't believe in those things - I just hear them so much, unfortunately :/
     
    #1 bisexualkpopfan, Apr 26, 2014
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 26, 2014
  2. AmiBee

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    I think that all of these reasons are a bunch of BS. I had no such trauma or issues with the opposite sex. I believe that I'm a lesbian because I was born that way. Period the end.
     
  3. BelleFromHell

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    Well, my parents divorced when I was 3, but I honestly don't give a flying fuck about my father and I'm better off without him.

    I would've turned into a complete piece of shit if he raised me.

    I don't think it has anything to do with me being a lesbian, but apparently right-wing extremists think otherwise...
     
  4. Gates

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    It's bull. These things *may* cause someone to express themselves differently but it won't "make" them anything.
     
  5. Me too! I don't know why people like to think that, I mean, people don't say that someone is straight because they had a trauma with the same gender, right? It's the same thing with being gay, bisexual, or pansexual! That's just the way you are!

    ---------- Post added 26th Apr 2014 at 10:07 PM ----------

    Yeah, these things are dumb, and I do feel sick being around people who say that >< And just like with straight people who have experienced divorce, it had nothing to do with their sexual orientation! I feel like the right wing people and some people try to make it out like these things causes homosexuality, but it would be the same thing with heterosexuality too, so yeah.

    And aww, I'm sorry about your parents still though, but I am glad you are not letting it bother it too much. Keep being strong and being you!! :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 26th Apr 2014 at 10:07 PM ----------

    Exactly!! I completely agree. Thanks for your opinion!!
     
  6. Aussie792

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    I don't know and don't want to know. The moment any reason is found (even if the reason for heterosexuality is found, too), and why people are searching for it, is to delegitimise us and prevent our existence.

    Even if a biological answer is fully explained, I don't want it. The knowledge would justify eugenics for many (if not most) cis-hetero people.
     
  7. BMC77

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    I can't honestly say for sure.

    One "excuse" is gay boys are "caused" by problems with their father. That was certainly the case with me. But...was my father the reason I'm gay? Did the relationship suffer because my father sensed on some level I'm gay? Or are the bad relationship AND me being gay totally unrelated. Who can say for sure?

    However...I am pretty sure you can find plenty of gays who have never had any of the problems that "cause" people to be gay.

    ---------- Post added 26th Apr 2014 at 08:38 PM ----------

    This is a valid worry.

    Indeed, in the 1990s, I read an article that talked about trying to find some "difference" between gay people and straight people. Beyond the obvious, that is. I think it might have been differences in brains, or something like that. And one commentator pointed out a real risk of this research: firm conclusions could mean you could see all sorts of discrimination, like health insurance rates for gay men going through the roof. (Reason there: HIV)
     
  8. I get what you are saying! Even if these things had a part in someone's sexual orientation, that still doesn't give a person any right to make LGBTQ people's love any less than heterosexual relationship. I mean, love is love, I don't know why we even have to debate about who loves who and why they do - Why can't we just love as we do no matter what?? I mean, our love isn't hurting anyone so therefore, I agree that no one should be able to use any reason to discriminate, not at all. Thanks for your opinion!! :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 26th Apr 2014 at 11:14 PM ----------

    Exactly, you don't know if your relationship with your father had anything to do with your orientation, therefore, it would be completely illogical to say that one of those reasons is the case of why any gay person is gay - I mean everyone is different! And like you said, there are people who have had nothing happen to them and they are gay as well. Thanks for your thoughts!! :slight_smile:
     
  9. KWDBM

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    It's just stupid to even ponder this stuff, imo. I mean, what if it's true, and all homosexuality is caused by some childhood trauma? ....... Then what? Nothing is going to *change*, childhoods aren't suddenly going to become perfect and free of crap, there's no sudden "cure", nothing at all changes if this crap were ever proved true. Nothing at all.

    My parents had an ugly, ugly split when I was 12-13, both my grandparents died within a year of each other, my dad was an alcoholic... And yet I knew my sexuality by age 9, way before any of that started. *shrugs*
     
  10. Beetle

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    These are all BS. I had a supportive family growing up and although we weren't perfect, there was no trauma or mommy/daddy issues. I was just born gay, I never was interested in boys but once kissed a girl in elementary school...on the cheek but she still didn't like it too much haha.
     
  11. BookDragon

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    Frankly, what possible difference could it make?

    Let's assume for a moment that every single one of those reasons is COMPLETELY accurate.

    Unless someone built a functioning time machine it would be impossible to even find yourself in a position where you could begin to fix those issues at source, because those things don't go away you just learn to deal with them as time goes on.

    So the existing LGBT people are still here.

    Unless you can make sure EVERY person on Earth is PERFECT and that peoples entire lives are free from trauma of ANY KIND, then new people would turn gay. Meaning it would be impossible to prevent people from becoming LGBT.

    So you can't fix it and you can't prevent it, so what options do you have left. Either accept it as inevitable and treat people well, or continue blindly saying that people are broken and need fixing. You'll notice this isn't any different to how it is now.
     
  12. all paths

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    I know it's garbage, because again, I think you'd be hard pressed to find a majority of straight people without at least one of those issues listed, and they freaking outnumber us by 10 to 1!!! If anything, following THAT logic, those things 'cause' straightness! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  13. LiquidSwords

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    I had/have a great relationship with my father, most of my friends have always been guys, never experienced any sort of abuse etc.

    So many crazy theories about, some UKIP guy says it's because gay guys don't get enough physical exercise, but I live in the gym ffs, it's all shit!

    I don't know or care why some people are gay, the important thing is that they are and they have no control over it.
     
  14. AudreyB

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    :eusa_eh:
     
  15. Kreiger

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    Huh. I had no idea my sexual orientation meant I experienced serious mental trauma. I should call my insurance company. Time for some compensation! The money makes the fake pain go away.
     
  16. all paths

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    LOL Kreiger
     
  17. Motto

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    This is Christian Propaganda! It's straight bull shit. There would be SO many more LGBTQ people if those things "turned you." I mean that list pretty much says if you had the perfect upbringing you might wind up straight. I did recently have a friend ask me if I had experienced a "Vagina related trauma" because I have an aversion to them. (I mean no offense to those with vaginas, they just aren't for me.) I laughed in her face.
     
  18. sldanlm

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    "Physical trauma, including but not limited to:
    Sexual abuse
    Incest
    Rape
    Neglect


    Not with me

    Emotional trauma, including but not limited to:
    Abandonment
    Rejection
    Unmet needs for love, acceptance, gender identification and validation
    Absence of nurturing
    Lack of protection
    Verbal abuse


    Not with me either, except the rejection, and that was only after I came out.

    Skewed or unhealthy parental roles
    Mom-Fails to fulfill her role as nurturer & Dad-Fails to protect by being passive and/or unavailable (for girls who are LGBTQ)"


    Dad was pretty busy a lot growing up with his business and kind of gave in to Mom a lot, but that family situation happens a lot with straight kids families too. In fact, my brother and sister are straight. I don't believe my mother failed in her role as nurturer.

    Some also say that an early interest in sex and seeing porn at a young age can also have a part in your orientation. I don't know how they come to that conclusion, but that's what they say so yeah...


    I started becoming curious about sexual things at 13, got stronger at 15, is that really any earlier than straight kids? I don't think so. I saw my brothers playboys and also a book called "The joy of sex" but how would a book with hetro sex images cause me to be interested in only girls? My brother looked at lots of porn and he's straight. Maybe the "problem" is I didn't look at enough porn, judging by the results :lol

    They also say that lesbians see being a woman as threat and a bad thing.

    You mean not liking being a woman? I like being a woman, and being with women. If a woman wants to be a guy, that fine, but that's not me. I think all these so called reasons are so they can claim that there is something wrong with being anything other than straight, and it is something that can be changed with so called therapy.
     
  19. nikidion

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    I think it's quite clear that those statements are not based on any actual research, it's just making guesses and trying to explain the gay away.
     
  20. I know, it would be the same thing with straight people too! Even if it was some kind of trauma, there would be no way we could change that & if trauma had something to do with gay people's orientation, it would also be the same for straights, which would still make both orientations not better than one another, so I don't know what these Christians are using these things for. And again, you already were who you are before the drama, so yeah, these things are likely not true. Thanks for your opinion!!

    ---------- Post added 29th Apr 2014 at 10:03 AM ----------

    I figured they were stupid reasons myself. And I'm glad you had no trauma too :slight_smile: And yep, you are just who you are!! And haha, really? Well, if it was me, I would of liked it xD Anyways, thanks for your thoughts!!

    ---------- Post added 29th Apr 2014 at 10:08 AM ----------

    Wow, you have some really good points here!! Yes, everyone is human and so it's really hard for people to just get over things... Which brings in your point that if we were perfect, than yes, maybe there would be more LGBT people too! And yep, we have always existed and will continue to exist - And I think all of these "Christian" organizations better do the first option and just accept people as they are because, come on, love and acceptance is what Jesus taught us the most!! Thanks for your thoughts!!